The Dream
by La Mariannette
Summary: A canon story, with how Remus came to be so alone, what brought James and Lily together, what pushed the headstrong Black over the edge, why we never heard from Lily's friends, and what a not-quite-other-character had to do with it all. Side of JPxLE.
1. Remind Me Why

A/N – **Disclaimer**: _Harry Potter_ is not mine but, rather, J.K. Rowling's. I have taken her ideas, given them my own characters, and moulded them to my own thoughts, but they are – as ever – hers.

* * *

"Remind me why," a very tired and very grouchy Remus Lupin asked the tall, handsome black-haired boy sitting beside him, "I'm getting up _early_. And while you're at it, remind me why I decided to spend _two weeks_ with you. And then, Padfoot, remind me why I agreed even after I found out it would be with your mum and your brother. And remind me why in the name of Merlin did I have to get up so _early_."

With a tired smile, the young man known as Padfoot to his dear friend replied, "Because you love me. And because you're kind and selfless enough to save me from two weeks with Regulus and my mum. And because Prongs and Wormtail are both on vacation with their parents and there's no full moon anytime soon."

"And because you're a damn good flatterer when you want to be Padfoot."

"Moony!" Padfoot gasped in astonishment. "You swore! I'm, I'm appalled! Oh," he faked a sob and brushed away an invisible tear, "he's growing up." Suddenly he sobered and said, "I wonder who it is. That mum's going around with, I mean. She said it was a divorced Italian pureblood last night when we left, but she also said that he had two kids at Hogwarts. We don't know any Italian witches at Hogwarts. Who do you think it is?"

Remus looked at his friend and asked, "Where on earth did that come from? I have no idea Padfoot. Just wait, they should be here soon. And remind me why we had to rent a villa?"

Shrugging, the black-haired boy let his elegant black hair fall into his face. His head snapped up and he and Remus both paid rapt attention as the heard a strong, angry voice they both knew, but neither of them could place. "I don't care anymore! You go have your affair with some other married woman, _I – don't – care_! I'd rather be with Mum anyway!"

They heard a deep, extremely masculine voice say softly, coldly, "You and your friend stay _out_ of our way, is that understood? Go do your own thing, but if I have to see any more of you than I absolutely must, you _will_ suffer the consequences. Is that understood?"

The sharp, cool voice cut in quickly, "Yes, sir. You and Vega have fun."

As a girl walked in both of the two boys cursed themselves for not having recognized her voice and they knew it was because of the anger that so rarely laced it. Standing up, the handsome black-haired boy said with a slow smile, "Well, well, well. Celaeno Venatici. What a surprise."

A slender girl with wide chocolate eyes and a long brown braid looked at them as she said coldly, "Black, Lupin. What a pleasure."

The fair girl with a kind, round face and ocean-blue eyes that followed Celaeno Venatici nodded, "Hello. So we're stuck with you two then? Figures, that we have a week to do whatever we want and it's with you. Cela, where's Vega?"

As the girl, eyes locked on the two boys before her, opened her mouth a third girl ran in. Her skin was slightly darker than the white fair of Cela's, as was her hair, but her eyes were an elegant violet as she asked innocently, being three years their junior, "Mira Celaeno! Are you coming with me and Dad, and the Blacks? Or are you and Alice staying here?"

Gently smiling, Cela shook her head, "So, Procyon Venatici sends an innocent child to make amends for his wrongs. So like him. No, Vega Merope, Dad asked me to stay here. You go, and enjoy yourself."

Cocking her head sideways, Vega Merope asked softly, "Is he still mad at you for being a Gryffindor? That's okay. We all know that if you'd had a choice, you'd have at least gone for _Ravenclaw_. Even though it's not quite as good as Slytherin, but still. Better than Gryffindor. It's not your fault the hat made a mistake."

As both boys rounded on the young girl, Mira Celaeno's elegantly smooth face tightened and she said stiffly, "That's enough Vega. Go, have fun. It'll be a wonderful two weeks for you."

The young girl turned and bounced out with a smile and Mira Celaeno fell onto the couch, holding up her hand and stopping the comments of both boys instantly, "I don't need to hear it. From you, Remus Lupin and your prefect badge, or you, Sirius Black and your 'I'm better than everyone else because I'm handsome' attitude. You're not the only one with split interests Black, so get over yourself. Come on Alice, let's go outside."

Standing and turning so that all the two boys could see were her full curves and slender neck, Mira Celaeno walked out of the room. The sweet, adorable girl stood staring at them, and her voice was low, "You wonder why Lily's never liked your group? Potter's a pain in the ass because he's a pureblood from an unbiased and strictly Gryffindor, Ravenclaw family. Black, you're a pain in the ass because you're a pureblood that's kind and gracious enough to step off of your Slytherin pedestal to be a Gryffindor. Lupin, you're too caught in being their friends and having fun with your badge whenever it suits you to look at how incredibly immature the whole lot of you are. I came here instead of going to France with Lily because I knew that Cela would go insane if she had to spend two weeks alone with her father. Procyon Venatici is the most abominable man I know, and Vega Merope is falling right into his trap. And if we have to spend these two weeks with you two, here's one piece of advice that might save your life. Grow up, just a little. And don't turn your condescending and reproachful words onto Mira Celaeno; she scorns herself enough."

Without another word, she too turned and left. Remus turned to Sirius and asked, his voice aching in resignation, "Remind me why we came here again."

At this Sirius could not help but smile, and he said with a wicked grin, "To bag two of the best girls in Hogwarts. And to tell Prongs that we're good with Evans' best friends while he still can't go within twenty metres of her."

Rolling his eyes, Remus said without a trace of compassion, "I think Quirke had a point there Padfoot. Grow up."

Transforming into Padfoot, the large shaggy dog grinned at Remus as the two walked out after the girls. They found them on a patio, Alice Quirke sitting with her legs stretched out before her as Celaeno Venatici lay on her back on the wood, staring up at the stars. With a soft bark of an idea, the large dog went over and licked the hand of the fair and elegant girl. Sighing, her voice was the soft lyrical tones that the boys were accustomed to, "I don't even need to think on that one. You're named after the dog star, Sirius Black, and you're one to become an unregistered animagus. That one's too easy. Besides, you think I didn't figure out where 'Padfoot' and 'Moony' came from? Did you become an animagus because of Lupin and full moons? That's why you, Potter, and Peter are always tired when Lupin gets back."

Without so much as a playful bark, Sirius Black returned to his breathtaking form and stared at her, "Was it really that easy?"

Stretching, the girl beside them said easily, "For a girl who spends her spare time watching and analysing, of course. For the rest of us who have lives, let's just say I wouldn't even have noticed that you got tired regularly if it weren't for Mira Celaeno."

Sitting down on the chair beside Alice, Remus asked, "I'd wondered for the longest time, is that how Lily found out?"

"No," the girl replied, still staring straight upwards, "she found out on her own, during third year when we studied werewolves, and that was when Alice found out too. I found out first year, when I realized you leave every full moon."

"I always knew your obsession with Astronomy wasn't healthy," Sirius muttered. "Only you could realize that without even having to think about it."

Sitting up and looking at them at last, she shrugged. Her thick braid was messy and her eyes were dark. "It's perfectly normal when you're raised with it. Now tell me, Sirius Black, why on earth you didn't go with James Potter instead of coming here? Alice said that he went to Ireland for a week and a half."

"I told you!" Remus exclaimed, and Alice Quirke gave a quick, sarcastic laugh as she eyed Sirius curiously.

"Too much trouble. Trying to explain it to my mum, and then making the Potter's have to take an extra burden. Not worth it," Sirius said with a shrug.

Mira Celaeno looked at him approvingly and said, "I knew you weren't a complete idiot. You know we're going to have to go out with our parents at least once or twice, and they're going to _make_ us pretend they're married."

"Dammit," Sirius groaned, "I can't make a move on my sister. I'll be stuck with Quirke, and Merlin knows I've heard enough about her from Davey Gudgeon."

For the first time in much too long, they heard Celaeno Venatici laugh. Her laugh was light, childish, but when free and open it had a sort of newly unrestrained sensuality that had Remus Lupin looking at the girl in a new light, a light he thought he had forgotten. "Oh, don't remind her of _that_ mistake. Besides, it was over a year ago."

Alice stood and threw her hair back and walked off, her robes flitting around her feet as she sauntered off. With her best friend gone, Cela stood up as well. She was still laughing, and her laugh had filled out, becoming purely provocative. The wind blew gently, pulling her robes against her so that the lines of her figure stood out starkly beneath a creamy neck and elegant shoulders. Bending down, she brushed Sirius' hair from his face and said, "Don't let Alice catch you watching her. There's a man out there who would have your head for it."

Sirius winked and kissed her hand, saying softly, "Alice can't _not_ be watched. Cute, sweet, warm, and sociable. You, on the other hand, are so eternally different. Fair, elegant, and sensual; every romantic man's dream. Too bad I'm no romantic."

"I see where you get your reputation Sirius Black. But you aren't quite as big a man of the world as they make you out to be. I like that."

"You know what Mira Celaeno?" Sirius said with a gentle smile, "I don't think I'll mind calling you sister. Or that I'll mind these two weeks."

Turning to Remus, she bent and kissed him gently on the cheek, the scent of purely feminine oil burning on her skin. "I don't think I'll mind these two weeks at all."

As she walked away her curves seemed to move with the wind, and neither young man denied her elegance. Turning to Sirius, Remus managed huskily, "Remind me why we're not running after those two. And remind me why you aren't throwing yourself at Mira Celaeno. And while you're at it, remind me why I was complaining about being here."

Not realizing how like his friend he sounded, Sirius remarked with a grin, "Remind me why I haven't used them against Prongsie. And remind me why we ever hated those two."

The two looked at each other and laughed, realizing that they would be doing a lot of reminding in the next two weeks.

– 01 –

James Potter threw himself onto the bed with a laugh, tearing open the letter from his best friend and reading it with a whole-hearted vigour. Sirius' quick scribble and Remus' tidy scrawl covered the parchment with words that made James laugh, but he quickly sobered.

_Prongsie-boy,_

_We got here three days ago, and it hasn't been terrible. Mum's "friend" has two kids, daughters, both at Hogwarts. The younger one is one of Regulus' house mates, go figure, but the other is, guess who. You'll never believe it. Celaeno Venatici. Yep, Moony and I'll be spending the next two weeks with Mira Celaeno, one of Lily's best friends. And guess who she brought with her? No, not Lily. Apparently Lily's in France. She brought the sweet and cute Alice Quirke. I'm in heaven. Two gorgeous girls staying in the same house as me for two weeks. Mira's dad is royal bastard if there ever was one. Her little sister, Vega, isn't that bad. But she __**is**__ a Slytherin. I don't know Prongs. I have a feeling something bad's going to happen. I have a feeling something __**really**__ bad is going to happen. And I think I just might kill someone if Mira Celaeno is involved. I've been playing the role of her brother for two days, and I already __**feel**__ like an older brother. I don't know. She told me to grow up the first night we were here, and I think that did it. I think after all the lectures and yells, I might finally be growing up Prongsie. And I'm scared shitless about it. You're dad's in the Ministry, let me know if anything comes up. If it does, I'm grabbing Mira and Alice and getting the hell out of here. But, have fun in Ireland. My guess is you just got there around the time you get this. Have fun. And make the most of those Irish girls; they're redheads too._

_I'll be coming by at the end of vacation, so I'll see you soon enough._

_Buh-bye Jamie-poo,_

_Padfoot_

_  
Prongs,_

_Hey. Having fun in Ireland? I'm guessing that Padfoot told you about Cela and Alice being here. It was a slap in the face, but it's becoming pretty interesting now. Padfoot's been talking with Alice, and she's been having fun with letting him fall into the sand every time. And I've been getting death glares from Alice and Padfoot every time I walk off with Mira Celaeno. If there's anyone who's distant and mysterious, it's Celaeno Venatici. But she's just as __**gorgeous **__as ever__. And I'm relieved as anything that Padfoot decided to go big-brother on her instead of trying to seduce her. He's too busy trying to look charming for her best friend. And he's trying to figure out if anything's going on. He's found a spell to pack bags and made me practice it in case we have to leave at a moments notice. Remind me why we put up with him. But he's growing up, surprising, I know, but he's pulling it off. I think it's Mira Celaeno's influence. And he's rubbing off on me. He says that if anything happens, he's leaving. If anything happens, we're getting the hell over to your house. I'm not leaving Cela anywhere else. Still, it's been fun. How's Ireland? I went there with mum a few years back for a couple of weeks. It was great. Hope you're having fun. See you soon Prongs._

_Moony_

Propping himself up on his elbows, James frowned and muttered, "Dammit Sirius. What have you and Moony got yourselves in? I could have told you not to mess with Venatici. Why do you think I always –? I've seen what she goes through, and you're going to get a serious shock when he lets go. Bring her to me if anything happens Padfoot. Don't take her anywhere else. Nowhere else will let a Venatici in if they know. Merlin, how did you two get yourselves into this mess? Remind me why I shouldn't go and drag you both here right now."

– 01 –

Lily clutched the letter to her and threw herself onto the bed, crying out, "The owl's gone now Tuney! You can come back in!"

Her sister came in with a huff and left only moments later and Lily opened the letter and read the letter she could have sworn was from Cela and Alice.

_Evans,_

_It's James. Yes, I know. Just listen. I know you're probably expecting a letter from Celaeno Venatici and Alice Quirke from their villa with Venatici's dad. I just got a letter from Sirius and Remus, who are with them. Apparently Procyon Venatici and Mrs. Black have something going on. But that's not the point. Sirius and Remus both mentioned that they have a feeling something bad's going to happen. I know we've all been jerks to all three of you, but __**please**__ listen. Remus said that Sirius has gone big-brother on Venatici and is hanging around Alice tons. He won't let anything happen to them if he can help it. But still. Keep as close a watch on them as you can, will you? My dad works at the Ministry, and I can keep a close watch on how things are going. But Sirius knows how things work, and he'll be trying to tell me as little as possible about anything to keep me out of it. I don't want to be kept out of it. Anything involving Venatici involves me, whether we like it or not. Watch her, and Alice, and I'll keep you, Sirius, and Remus up to date about what's going on at the Ministry. We'll need to work together to keep us all alive through this. Have fun in France._

_James Potter_

Lily blanched as she stared at the paper. Alice and Cela were in trouble? Something was going to happen to them? Setting her teeth, she pulled out a quill and parchment and began to write furiously. Nothing was going to happen to her friends while she was there. Not if she could help it. Even if it meant that she had to cooperate with James Potter to pull it off. Her friends were at stake here, and that meant anything was possible. Her voice was a gritted murmur, "Alice, Cela, I'll kill you both if anything happens to you. You have no idea how much this is hurting my morals. I have to work with Potter, for God's sake. Remind me why I shouldn't just drag you both here right now."

– 01 –

Mira Celaeno looked at Alice and said, "Don't your parents have a little place next to the old train station?" As Alice nodded the girl's dark eyes glittered and she said, "Let's go there. The four of us, for a night or two. Our parents won't care Sirius, you know that. It'll be fun! The station's tons of fun."

Alice smiled devilishly and she looked at Sirius. Looking back at her levelly, blue eyes caught on blue, Sirius spoke to Celaeno Venatici without ever looking at her, "Alright. Let's do it. No parents. Wonderful."

Standing up and turning to her best friend, Alice said quickly, her voice relaxed and playful, "I'll go pack some stuff for us both Cela. And I'll tell your dad we're going. Be back in a few minutes."

Following her action, Sirius nodded, "Me too Moony mate. Be back, well, later."

Alice had already started on her way and Sirius turned, watching her hips as he called out to her. Remus and Mira Celaeno exchanged glances and the girl sighed. "They're going to be the death of me. Remind me why I thought of this."

Smiling as he watched her fingers curl into the sand, he brushed a flyaway strand of hair from her face, "As long as you remind me why I put up with them to begin with."

Her laugh was soft and innocent, and in its innocence was provocative in a strictly primal way. Without thinking about what it was that he was doing, Remus leaned forward and kissed her, running a hand over the smooth curve of her neck and shoulder. He felt a bolt run through him as her soft hand came and rested on his bare chest. She pulled away, looking at him with smoky eyes. It was in that moment that Remus stopped to realize that all either of them were wearing was their bathing suits, and that said very little.

He opened his mouth to apologize, taking her glossy eyes as a sign of being upset. However, he realized that his hand still rested on the back of her neck and he froze for a millisecond. In that moment she moved forward and kissed him. Without thinking, he tightened his grip on her and drew her closer, moaning as she pressed herself against him. As far as kisses went, it was nothing overly heated or passionate, especially for a first kiss. Still, both of them forgot the little factor that they were on the beach, on a towel, and in their bathing suits. They jerked away violently as they heard the sharp, horrified cry, "Mira Celaeno Venatici! Remus John Lupin! What are you _doing_?"

They saw the horrified, but slightly amused face of Alice next to the appalled and enraged face of Sirius. Scrambling to her feet, Cela looked at them both evenly, unmoved by their shock. Sirius' eyes were not looking at her, even as she stepped towards them, but on Remus - as though the young man had just raped the girl rather than kissed her. "You," he began, eyes hard.

Grabbing his hand, the girl forced Sirius to meet her eyes, "Sirius Black, look at me. Don't you start on him. There were two people involved, not one. Don't start on him as if I had no part in it when we all know I did."

Alice looked at her and said softly, "That was your first kiss Cela."

Now the eyes of both boys snapped to the girl. It was beyond them how a woman of Mira Celaeno's beauty and elegance had escaped being kissed for nearly seventeen years. Was every male at Hogwarts blind? She merely smiled and said, "Remus, remind me why I put up with them. Come on, I'll show you the way."

She held a hand out to him, one that he took for a moment before letting it go to walk in step beside her. They walked off talking, leaving a smiling Alice and an enraged Sirius. Jaw tightening, Sirius said darkly, "He touched her. I'll kill him."

As he stepped forward, Alice reached out and grabbed his arm, her eyes flashing, "Wait a second Sirius Black. You have no right to go in there and treat her as though she's a child. She can kiss whoever she wants, as can Remus. I trust him more than I trust you as far as matters of relationships. She's seventeen years old Sirius, and she's _my_ best friend. You didn't even know her well until less than a week ago. I will not let you get violent on either of them."

Dark blue eyes glowing with violence, Sirius growled, "You want violent?"

He grabbed her, kissing her hard, savagely. His fingers dug into her possessively and he deepened the kiss violently. Releasing her quickly, his breath hard, he managed softly, "When I make a relationship, I intend to keep it. And I hate the people I make them with for that. That's not safe. I'll hurt you. I already did."

Eyes watering, Alice shook her head even though she didn't dare to touch him. She could see the internal torture he was going through at that moment, and she still hadn't moved when he straightened and looked at her. He reached out and grasped her arm lightly, and he flinched when she started. "I won't touch you again," he said softly, "not ever again. I won't do this to you again. I know about you and Frank. I swear it. You have to believe me on this one."

Falling in step beside the tall and handsome Sirius Black, the kind-faced Alice Quirke said just as softly, "I believe you Sirius. I always have."

Fingers tightening on her arm momentarily, Sirius fell silent. She had hurt him, Alice realized, he blamed himself for hurting her when it had been she who had hurt him. Her heart went out to him and her chest tightened. More than anything she longed to apologize to him, but she couldn't seem to make the words come out.

They reached her parents' little house, one that she knew well, and she smiled. Sirius stopped and said hesitantly, "Alice?"

She nodded and followed him inside. They saw Mira Celaeno sitting there, and she looked at them both for what seemed like an eternity to them both. Then she spoke, her voice gentle as she raised a single eyebrow at their transparent interchange, "You yelled at Sirius. And you kissed Alice. Sirius, you think you hurt her. And Alice, you feel bad because you know you hurt him. It's all rather obvious, and silly. Sirius, you deserved to be hurt for that one. Should Remus and I hate you for having kissed Alice? No. Nor should you be upset because he kissed me. I'm going to enjoy what time there is here for me, and I advise you both do the same."

Sirius felt numbed by how accurately she had seen through him, and by the resignation on Alice's face he knew that Cela's words about Alice had been true as well.

Shrugging as the two opened their mouths to retort, Mira Celaeno turned and walked off, calling softly, "Remus, they're here."

Remus came out as Alice said softly, "Remind me why I let her walk off like that."

Sirius looked at her and muttered grimly, "Remind me why I shouldn't drag her back in here and make her explain herself."

Throwing his hands in the air, Remus turned around and walked off, "I give up! You're both hopeless! Remind me why on earth I put up with you!"

Before he got out the door all three dissolved into a hearty bout of laughter and then Mira Celaeno rejoined them, smiling. _Good_, she thought, _they need to smile some. Sirius and Remus guessed right, something bad's going to happen. And I think I know what it is. But it's all good for now. Let them smile, let them laugh, they'll need every bit of it for later. Remind me why_... But she never got any farther than that. While the other three had the fullness to remind themselves why later, she had the funny feeling that there would be no need to use Remus' common phrase. She would have to come up with her own, one that she could complete. Not the incomplete request that echoed around the room despite its laughter. _Remind me why..._


	2. Ha, Ha, Ha

"_Ha ha_!" Mira Celaeno cried triumphantly, spinning in circles. Laughter ringing through the empty train station, the two girls danced in their robes. Sirius sat back with Remus, grinning as they watched the pair. Shaking back his hair, the teen called out happily, "Hey, girls, want to come over here and show us how well you dance?"

"Ha, ha, ha," Alice called back sardonically, smile betraying her cold tone, "you'll have to do better than that to trick anything out of us Black!"

Face falling in mock despair, Sirius slumped into his chair, starting as Celaeno bounded into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing him happily. "Don't look so crestfallen Sirius! Come dance with us!"

"In the middle of an abandoned train station?"

"Why not?" Celaeno asked, grinning. "Alice and I are. And nobody's here to make you feel silly. You too Remus, let's dance!"

Remus laughed, looking at Sirius and shrugging. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"Isn't that an American expression?"

Looking at Alice, Remus shrugged. "Heard mum say it the other day. Come on Sirius, you may as well."

Grumbling as he shoved Mira Celaeno from his lap, Sirius turned deeper into his chair. "You're supposed to be the reasonable one, Moony. I don't want to dance."

Propping her chin on his leg and pouting, the girl looked at him through large, luminous eyes. Turning away, Sirius insisted, "Don't try it Mira, I'm the master of puppy dog eyes. You go dance with the creatures you're friends with."

"You're friends with us too, aren't you?"

Too loyal to resist her soft inquiry, Sirius winked at her and ruffled her hair lightly. Bouncing to her feet, Cela linked arms with Remus and Alice, "Come on! Let's leave that one here and go exploring!"

Laughing as he watched Cela prance off with them, Sirius called, "Hey, Mira! You said dancing, not exploring!"

Turning back, Alice stuck her tongue out at Sirius and let her laughter ring out. The young man leaned further into his chair, smile lazy and satisfied. When he heard the sound of footsteps his smile became wicked, and he closed his eyes, transforming into Padfoot and waiting for the trio to emerge. Eager to pounce on them, he felt his eagerness fade into anticipation as he realized there were more than three pairs of footsteps, and he doubted any of them belonged to the light-footed Mira Celaeno, the steady Remus, or the happy Alice. Backing under the seats, he watched the covered feet pass by, long robes waving as the group walked. Definitely more than three people, he realized, using his dog senses to the fullest to see if he could tell who these people were.

Instantly able to recognize the robe-wearing crew as wizards, the over-perfumed smell of Mrs. Malfoy, the snooty-cologned Procyon Venatici, and the meaty smell of McNair reached his nose. Fighting the canine urge to bark at them, especially at McNair, Sirius listened, recognizing Misters Lestrange, Crabbe, and Goyle. Of course, Lestrange was the only powerful voice of the group, as Crabbe and Goyle seniors were as dumb and nonsensical as their children. "Come, this way. The Dark Lord has chosen well, nobody would ever suspect our meetings to begin at an old _muggle_ filth house. We must meet his messenger and go to him. There is work that must be done."

"Stop spewing, Lestrange," Venatici growled, "What has our Lord called this meeting for, if you're so knowing?"

"Your daughter has been making dangerous friends, we hear. You question our Lord and he may believe that it with your encouragement that Mira Celaeno is making such foolish moves."

Sirius swallowed as he heard the murder in Procyon Venatici's voice, "That _brat_ is no more my daughter than any other muggle-loving _filth_. You make dangerous mistakes by assuming that any of her decisions are my concern. When she comes to her senses and realizes the error in her ways, I may begin to accept her as my own. Should anything she does begin to threaten our Lord, I would kill her myself without remorse. I would like to see you, gall-less pig, be willing to do half as much for our Lord's cause."

"Don't try to compensate by insulting me, Venatici. Just make sure you remember where your loyalties lie."

"There is no need to remember, Lestrange; I never forgot. My daughter is none of your concern. Should she begin to be, I give you full permission to take care of her as you see fit. Now, enough stalling, _lead the way_."

Waiting, ears, eyes, and nose alert for any signs of their presence, Sirius peered out from under the chairs. Heart racing, he turned and raced in the direction the others had gone. Cela needed to know the threat posed by her own father. Thinking nothing of getting caught, nothing of still being in dog form, he ran, transforming as he saw Alice laughing as Celaeno and Remus stood with laced hands. The three froze as they Sirius run toward them, face pale. Grabbing them, he pulled them back to the little cottage Alice's family owned. Slamming the door shut, he cast a sealing charm and a silencing charm on the doors and windows, turning to Cela. "Death Eaters."

"Here?"

Looking at Remus' incredulous expression, Sirius nodded, surprise spreading across his features as Cela rolled her eyes. "Didn't you _know_? That's why our parents chose here. So they can be close to all the action."

"Your dad's a Death Eater."

"I know."

Freezing, Sirius looked at her, "Then why the bloody hell didn't you stay with your mum? Why would you choose to spend time with him?"

"Because Lily asked her to. And because her father has power over her still, if he demands her presence during the summer holidays she can't just _choose_ to stay with her mum. If her mum and stepdad had made plans, she could have, but not for no reason. He would've dragged her here by her hair."

"Why would Lily ever ask you to stay with a Death Eater?"

Looking at Remus and Sirius, knowing that Sirius wanted an answer to Remus' question as much as Remus did, Cela sighed and explained carefully, "Where they're going it would be really obvious if an owl came every morning with the Daily Prophet. So she said that if there was any way to let her know exactly what was going on to let her know. She's worried about her parents, you know, they aren't exactly safe with her being a witch and all. Vega has no concept of secrecy, I can find out exactly what's going on _before_ it happens if I'm here. There's no way I would potentially jeopardize my friend for a slight difference in comfort. And after all, with Alice coming I knew it would be fun enough to be worthwhile anyway."

"Slight? Cela, you're dad was with a group of Death Eaters when I was listening. He said right there that he would kill you himself if it helped their _cause_. You can't be serious."

"You're Sirius," Cela pointed out gently, looking unfazed. "Look, Sirius. I know what my father is capable of, better than you do. But even Procyon Venatici would have a bloody good reason to hurt me for someone else's sake. He has no idea that I even know who Lily Evans is, and I plan on keeping it that way. You're being foolish, the associations they would be talking about for me turning into a blood-traitor and all that posh would be _you_."

"Me?"

Alice rolled her eyes as realization hit Remus. "Of course. Pureblood, influential family, Gryffindor in the same year, openly against Voldemort, obviously no problems with muggles or muggleborns, you and James are exactly the kind of enemy they don't want to be making."

"They also think James and I are too stuck-up and frivolous to ever be a threat to them."

"But combined with a person like Cela, especially with Dumbledore backing you, even without James you could pose a credible threat. That's what they're worried about."

Sirius looked at Alice, the words seeping into him. Reaching out, he touched her arm gently and smiled, "Well, if they're going to worry about us, let's give them more than they ever bargained for."

Relieved that Sirius was no longer worried, Cela leaned into Remus, pulling him to the ground and resting on his shoulder. Eyes travelling up to Sirius and Alice, motioning them to sit, she entreated, "I don't want to give anybody anything right now. Let's just sit and talk, okay?"

Eyes narrowing inadvertently as Remus leaned and kissed her gently, Sirius sat in the plush armchair as Alice stretched beside the fireplace. "You're so cute Mira. Ha, ha, ha."

– 02 – 02 –

"_Ha ha_!" Mira Celaeno exclaimed, one arm tight around Sirius as she sat securely on his back.

Alice laughed, tripping over herself and snorting as Remus grabbed her arm and yanked her after him. "Come on Quirke! Now's not the time to be a klutz!"

Growling at Remus as she looked back at the monster chasing them, she laughed. It was a sight she would never forget. Cela was balanced delicately on Sirius' back, laughing as she waved her free arm around while Sirius stood as straight as he could, face in a mock grimace as he held Cela tightly in place. Vega laughed from where she stood on the porch. It was a funny sight, and she loved seeing her older sister happy.

Though Vega's intentions were pure and childish, it was a good thing that none of the four noticed as she took a picture of their gaiety. If they had, suspicion may have outweighed goodwill and their joy may have been ruined. However, Sirius continued to run, letting out a barking laugh as Celaeno leaned forward and cried, "Move faster, Siri! You two had better do better than that or I'll jump you both!"

Slowing down as they felt laughter overcome them, both Remus and Alice shrieked as Mira Celaeno flung herself off Sirius' back, catapulting into them and knocking them onto the sand. Falling down beside him, Sirius laughed hysterically, tears filling his eyes as the four of them lay entwined together on the sand. Sitting on Remus, head in Sirius' lap, and feet pinned down by Alice, Mira Celaeno laughed helplessly and tears of mirth streamed over her cheeks. "Ha ha," Sirius managed breathlessly, laughter escaping through his words, "you should have seen your faces! Ha ha! That was priceless! Ha ha, Mira, you are my goddess!"

Laughing, Celaeno reached up and kissed Sirius idly, her _I know!_ echoed by her happy laughter. They remained there, content to just laugh and sit in the bright sun and warm sand. Leaning against a stick of wood he had conjured, Sirius winked as Remus propped himself up. The girls remained where they were, Alice's hands behind her head and Mira Celaeno content with her head in Sirius' lap. Running his fingers idly through the girl's hair as he watched her fingers wrap around Remus', Sirius asked, "What're we going to do now? We can't just sit here for the rest of the day."

"Why not?" Alice asked. "We are at the _beach_, Black. That's what a lot of us do at the beach. Just sit in the sand all day."

"Or go play in the water!"

The other three looked at Mira Celaeno's curiously, entertained by her childish outburst. Flushing at the gazes being sent her way, she buried her face in Sirius' leg and asked, voice muffled by his trunks, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Laughing, Remus squeezed her hand as Sirius ruffled her hair. "You're so weird, Mira."

"Funny, Black," she said with a glare, lifting her head from his shorts for a moment before returning to her former position. "Can't you see me laughing? _Ha_, _ha_, _ha_."

– 02 – 02 –

The door slammed and the two boys groaned, sitting up with a jolt as Alice ran forward and yanked the covers off of them. "Geroff, Quirke," Sirius snarled, grabbing the blanket possessively as Remus turned to go back to bed without it.

Slapping them both, Alice hissed, "Wake up! It's midafternoon! You've missed lunch even!"

"We're growing boys, Alice, we need our sleep," Remus slurred, closing his eyes.

Biting her lip and realizing that she couldn't wake them before telling them, she said softly, "Cela got in a fight with her dad. He's _punishing_ her."

This woke both boys up instantly and they jumped out of their beds, feeling their blood run cold at the terror on Alice's sweet face. "Where is she?" Sirius demanded, throwing on his shirt as Remus did the same.

"Come on."

Running after the girl, Remus and Sirius hoped that the horrified features of Alice Quirke were an exaggeration of Venatici's violence. Flinging the door open, Sirius ran into the room and cried angrily, "Stop it! Leave her alone!"

"_Finite Incantatem_," came Procyon Venatici's cool voice. The silent scream that been pouring from Mira Celaeno's mouth became a very audible gasp as she slumped to the floor. "Well, well, Mr. Black. What can I do for you?"

Dropping down beside Celaeno, brushing her hair back and feeling the hot sweat pour over her face, Sirius looked up with murder in his eyes. "She's your _daughter_! You used an unforgivable on your _daughter_? Monster. You don't deserve her."

Raising an eyebrow coolly, he looked down at the dishevelled girl. "She doesn't look so good. She should have thought about that before disgracing our blood."

"It's the same as everyone else's!"

"That, Sirius Black, is an ideology that will get you the same treatment she received. But, if you grovel well enough, I will punish you in a more muggle fashion."

"Go ahead! Just leave her alone!"

"_Crucio_," Venatici said levelly, as though it didn't matter. Sirius closed his eyes, bracing himself for the pain. As he heard Mira Celaeno's ear-splitting scream he acted like a man possessed. Growling, he was mobilized as he heard the cold _ha!_ through her screams.

Blood rising in his throat and pounding in his ears, Sirius roared and flew at Procyon Venatici. Hands grasping the man around the throat, he felt a wave of relief as Celaeno's screams stopped. Suddenly pinned against the wall, Venatici's wand at his throat, Sirius found himself looking into dark, pitiless eyes. Certain he was going to die, he stared back levelly, bracing himself and feeling a wave of shock as he heard the desperate cry. "No! Please, leave him alone! Don't hurt him!"

Two pairs of dark, shocked eyes turned to Celaeno as she stood, shaking and sweating as she steeled herself. Dropping Sirius to the floor, Venatici began to laugh, "You've got sand, girl. I'll tell you what. Because you still _are_ a pureblood, I'll send you and your little posse to clean a room muggle-style. You'll be returned whenever I decide to send for you, and consider yourself lucky."

Voice suddenly dropping back to the hesitant whisper, Mira Celaeno nodded carefully, "Yes, Father."

Sirius ran to her, grasping her hand and feeling himself jerk as he found himself in a completely different room. Looking around, he watched Remus run over to Cela and hug her fiercely. "Are you okay? Cela, look at me."

Pale features still sweaty, she smiled softly and kissed him, deepening the kiss gently until Sirius growled from behind them. "Get a room."

"You're in it," Alice pointed out, examining the door-less, window-less room they were in.

"Are you _ever_ on my side in these things?" Sirius demanded, pacing the room as Remus took Mira Celaeno into his arms and held her. "You're supposed to be at least a little protective of her too, you know!"

"No, that's Lily. Besides, I like Remus," Alice countered lightly, dropping down beside Celaeno and softening. "Are you okay? I didn't know what else to do."  
Smiling and hugging Alice tightly, Celaeno murmured, "It's okay. Though I wish you hadn't gotten Sirius and Remus into this too."

Freezing, features darkening with rage, Sirius whirled around to her and stormed, "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean? We were trying to help, Mira! Would you have rather Venatici kept it up?!"

Turning a withering eye onto Sirius, shaking her head as Remus began to add to his friend's words, and voice soft, Cela clung to Alice. "He's just getting warmed up. You've confirmed his worst fears, and he's going to hurt you for it. I don't want any more people getting hurt for his idiocy."

Sirius stiffened, rage still on his handsome features, but Remus' voice softened. "Cela? What were you and your father arguing about that was worth an unforgivable?"

"What else?" Cela replied. "Blood, as usual. He knows I don't support them, and he's trying to get me out of the way. Apparently it's a bad thing if I associate with other _muggle-lovers_, and he wants to remedy that by marrying me off to some good, pureblood boy. Father's already made insinuations about both of you, and he gave fair warning that should either of you _interfere_ with his plans he'll take you out of the picture. I told him to bugger-off and that if I wasn't worth his time he should go waste it elsewhere."

"And my coming in?"

Turning to look at Sirius, Mira Celaeno managed softly, "Put you and Remus on his list. I didn't want Alice to tell you. I wanted to keep you out of his mess."

Remus shook his head, taking her face in his hands and wiping the tears off her cheeks gently. Pressing his lips to her forehead, he let Sirius speak for them both. "Like hell we'd sit here and let you deal with by yourself. And we're part of it now, whether you like it or not. So get used to us."

She smiled, looking up at him with glittering eyes. "Don't say it if you don't mean it, Sirius. Live up to your name this time, for me."

Kneeling down beside her, tapping her face with a crooked finger, Sirius grinned. "I'm always Sirius. And you really are stuck with us. At least us three."

"Lily would be here if she could," Alice said, nodding her agreement and squeezing Sirius' hand as he helped her stand.

Bracing his hands on his hips, Sirius looked around the room and pointedly ignored Remus and Celaeno's gentle kisses. "So what are we supposed to do until Venatici's good graces let us out of here?"

"We're _supposed_ to be cleaning up a filthy room, muggle-style," Celaeno said softly, jumping as a loud pop filled their ears. Looking down at her dusty, ragged muggle clothes, Cela smiled bitterly and eyed the now-gruesome room warily. "See?"

Barking lightly, Sirius swung her to her feet and laughed. Nothing could dampen his day, now that Mira Celaeno was safely away from her father's clutches and he was with friends in a hidden room. Even muggle cleaning could be fun… He roared with laughter as Mira screamed, her hair drenched and the dirt on her rags settling in a puddle on the floor. Turning, she beat him across the arms and screeched at him, his chest heaving with laughter as he looked at the wet girl. His laughter died abruptly as he felt himself drenched with icy water, wet dirt weighing his own rags down. Turning to Remus with a death glare, he couldn't help but laugh as Remus shrugged innocently. "What can I say? You wet my girl."

"Your girl am I?" Cela asked, tapping her foot and not looking at all intimidating in her wetness. As Remus nodded smugly she charged at him, knocking him to the ground on sitting on his abdomen, laughing manically as she pinned his arms down. Wicked grin plastered across her features, her voice dripped was sarcasm. "Of course I am, how could I forget? Your little doll. So sweet and innocent, right?"

Remus began to nod, certain that sweet Celaeno would do nothing. It was Sirius and Alice who laughed next as Cela leaned down and kissed him deeply, standing and _accidentally_ stepping on his crotch as she _slipped_. Groaning as curled into a ball, he glared at her. "Demon-child. If I never have children it'll be your fault! I thought you wanted kids."

"Ha, ha, ha," she said, her genuine laughter fading into playful humour. "Not yours. I fancy having better looking children if I have them."

Sirius snorted, occupying himself with scrubbing a particularly dirty section of the floor as Remus glared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Celaeno sung, kissing Alice on the cheek as she dropped down beside Sirius, helping him eagerly. "I dunno, Alice, what do you think? If I had kids with Sirius they'd be gorgeous, wouldn't they? Or what about that Wood character, he's quite attractive."

Grabbing her by the waist and whirling her into a deep kiss, Remus growled, "You say that like I'd have you."

Now Sirius really snorted, face going into the dirty floor just before he began coughing. Forgetting her pseudo-argument with Remus, Celaeno turned to Sirius and began patting him on the back, waiting for his fit of coughing to subside. Raising an eyebrow, she looked and him and said coolly, "Don't push your luck, Lupin. You almost killed your best friend here. How does that make you feel? You should be ashamed! Get on your knees and start helping!"

Clapping Sirius on the back and laughing as Sirius coughed again, Remus knelt down beside them and together the four began to scrub. It was going to be a long day...

"Ha ha!" Sirius exclaimed, feeling disgusting and grimy as he looked around the spotless room. "It's just like magic!"

"Except done completely muggle-style," Remus droned, leaning against the wall in exhaustion.

Acting like a mother hen, Sirius ran at his best friend, waving his arms wildly, "No! No! No! Get off the wall! You're going to mark it with your dirtiness! Away from my precious walls!"

Celaeno raised an eyebrow, ignoring Alice's giggles as she asked coolly, "Isn't your dormitory always a pig sty?"

Remus nodded, grunting as Sirius elbowed him and beamed. "It won't be anymore! I like this clean-ness! It feels very _clean_."

"No kidding, Padfoot," Remus growled, rubbing his stomach. "And what is it with people injuring my lower body parts? It's a conspiracy."

"Exactly, Remus," Cela crooned, leaning over and kissing him deeply. "We work for the Ministry, you know. We're deliberately trying to injure you. To prevent the reproduction of such genes. Or maybe Sirius is just jealous."

"Me? Jealous? Of that one!" Sirius pointed an accusing finger at Remus, looking horrified at the suggestion. "Why would I be jealous of _him_? We all know _I'm_ God's gift to women! Why would I be jealous when I'm _obviously_ the better looking of the two?"

"Then why I am kissing him and not you?"

Speechless, Sirius frowned. "Wait! That's not fair! You cheated!"

"How did she cheat? By being smarter than you?"

His wide grin betraying him, he threw his head back and laughed. "Ha, ha, ha. You think you're so funny, don't you? Ha, ha, ha."

The sound of their laughter echoed in the room as they sat together. Perhaps because they knew there would be precious little laughter in the coming days, but for now their laughter was rich and pure. _Ha, ha, ha_…


	3. Please

_Potter,_

_Have you heard anything from Black or Lupin? I haven't gotten any word from Cela or Alice, and it's unlike them to go so long without writing. I'm starting to get worried about them. There's been some not-so-pleasant stuff in the __Prophet__ lately, and I know that Black's family isn't the most friendly… I'm not implying anything, so don't start with me. It's just, Alice and Cela are both pretty openly against the whole pureblood thing. I don't know where Black stands on all this, or what he's doing to deal with it, but I'm afraid that something's going to happen to Alice or Cela. Please, please, __**please**__, I just have to know if my best friends are okay._

_Lily_

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

_Eva--__ Lily,_

_There's been some unusual activity from around the area I think Sirius said they were going. I sent Sirius and Remus a letter a couple of days ago, and if I don't get a response in the next day or two I'm going to start panicking, they're always good about replying on time. I got a letter from Celaeno's step-dad, he's my uncle, about a week ago. He said that Alice is supposed to leave in a couple of days, and that's when Remus said he'd be getting back too. But Sirius told me about a week later, so I wouldn't be surprised if Sirius and Celaeno are going to be staying longer. I doubt it means anything, but I figured you'd want to know in case it does. __**Please**__, Lily, don't jump to conclusions. Venatici's dad is no better than Sirius' family, they're different branches of the same tree. Just keep yourself safe._

_James_

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

She looked at her father, teary eyes hard as she trembled. "So, shall we bring in your little friends and have them take part in the consequences you face?"

"Don't hurt them! Please!"

Procyon Venatici laughed. "You know, there was a time I actually found you a pretty little thing. Every hope that one day you'd be a credit to your name. It's an honour, you know, to be a Venatici. Your mother didn't deserve, but she lost it. At least she didn't marry a worthless half-blood, or _mudblood_, even if Rookwood is a muggle-loving bastard. You, you are my child and you have disgraced everything about the blood in your veins."

"I am not yours! Don't touch me!"

He leaned back, examining the features so like his own. "You aren't half bad-looking, Mira Celaeno. Where did you go wrong?"

"You're the one who's wrong, _Father_, everything I've done has been to correct that mistake."

"Hm," he said, half laughing and half terrifying. "Because you are my child, even if I wouldn't admit it in public, I'm going to give you two options. You can face whatever they have planned for you on your own, and I won't lift a finger to interfere. Or you can split the punishment between you and your friends and each suffer a few rounds of the crutacious. It's your choice."

Mira Celaeno trembled, staring at her father in horror. "How do you expect me to answer that? How can you, as my father, sit there and tell me to choose between hell and betrayal?"

"Just as I am now, with ease."

He was cold, heartless, and the icy hand that grip her heart ripped at her very soul. "Where are they? I have to see them! Please! You said you wouldn't hurt them."

"Did I really? Oh, well then I guess I'll have to pacify you for now. I can't very well get an answer out of you before then, can I?"

She stood, silent and frozen as he left. She had nowhere to go, and she wouldn't have risked their safety even if she had. Alice came in first, looking at her in confusion as Sirius and Remus attempted to look awake, despite their cloudy eyes and pyjamas. She stood, ramrod straight and pale, and looked at them all levelly. "Wassgoinon?"

Her lips quirked at Sirius's completely unintelligible question. "Nothing for you to worry about."

Alice wasn't so tired as to not catch on and her entire face changed. "Oh, Cela! Please don't do this! What are you doing? What's he asking you to do?"

"He hasn't asked me to do anything, for a change. It's entirely up to me. You and Remus are ready to leave, right? I mean, you are leaving tomorrow morning and all."

"Yeah, you and Padfoot are seeing us off," Remus said, yawning as he slowly became alert.

Celaeno smiled uncertainly. "Well, about that. It might have to be just Sirius. There's a possibility that I'll have to go somewhere before then. Just for a bit, please don't worry. But we might have to wait until later this summer to see each other again."

Sirius cursed, glaring at her. "What did the bastard say to you? What's he doing to you?"

"Please, Sirius. He isn't doing anything, to any of us. Just the way I had hoped. I told you I didn't want to get you involved."

Reaching out and touching her cheek, Remus asked softly, "What is it? Tell us, Cela, please. Or I'm going to spend the next two months worrying about whether or not I should have stayed. Please."

"Oh, please don't," she said quickly, staring at him carefully. "I guess in a way he's being generous, giving me a choice. Since none of us can really do anything here without breaking the wards or getting his permission. Or your mum's, Sirius. Anyway, I'd rather not have to have your welfare on my conscious."

"Would you please stop being so bloody self sacrificing!"

Sirius's face was a picture of rage and he stepped toward her. She froze, her face terrifying as she looked at him. Her mouth was firm, but her eyes glittered and her jaw betrayed her. "Would you do any different for the people you care about?"

She had him there and he froze, staring at her. Going forward, Alice hugged her gently and said, "Can I convince you to change your mind? Please?"

"No, so don't bother. Just get out and go have fun at Potter's, both of you. Please, for me. It's not hard to have fun there."

Remus leaned forward and kissed her, deeply, and there were no jibes from Sirius or annoyed looks from Alice this time. "Be careful. Please. And please take care of yourself. I don't think I'd forgive myself if anything happened to you."

"Sirius will still be here, not to worry. And I'll get what I asked for. You shouldn't worry yourself, you have bigger things to worry about."

Alice tugged on Remus's hand, stepping back as Sirius glared at her. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

"Oh, Sirius, please. Don't play angry with me. You're as stuck here as I am. And you'd be in a much worse position otherwise."

When Procyon Venatici returned, Remus and Alice stood outside the door, listening blindly as Sirius stood tall, hand on Celaeno's shoulder as he demanded, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? I should just take her and leave, go with Remus and Alice to the Potter's and never deal with you again."

"You can try. Mira Celaeno can't go anywhere. She's bound here, unless you can break my wards. You may be smart, Mister Black, but you are not a powerful wizard. You may be, one day, but certainly not yet. You know, if she wasn't placing herself ahead of you, you would be even worse off than she is. Your mother hasn't really stepped forward to keep harm from reaching you."

"Do your worst, Venatici."

"If you insist –"

"No! Please!" Celaeno's face was white, her eyes huge in her face. "You said you wouldn't hurt him if I didn't fight. You said that you would not harm Remus or Alice in any way, and that you'd get them safely to the Potter's. Keep your word. Please. Or has the word of a Venatici come to mean so little?"

She knew her father well enough to hit home there. "Your little friends out there will be untouched, without a single shred of physical or mental harm except what they bestow upon themselves. And I will not physically harm young Mister Black. After all, he may see the error in his ways and I would never risk losing the potential of such a capable young man. His mind is more easily convinced than yours, I'm certain. Yours is so stubborn that's near impossible not to be."

"Maybe so. But swear it. You won't hurt them. Please, do whatever you will to me, but not a hair on their body is to be harmed."

"Oh, please. I wouldn't hurt you, my child. I leave that to others. But you have my word. And anything that happens, you are asking for it."

"I know. But I have your word that they'll be safe."

He clapped a hand on her shoulder as he walked out, "If I admired bravery, I'd be impressed. It's almost admirable, your devotion to your friends. Very probably misplaced, but you'll figure that out on your own. I'll see you when I see fit."

Sirius looked at her, astonishment and horror written on his face as she looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Please, Sirius, don't. I'd rather. It's better than seeing you hurt. Please."

He stiffened, squeezing her hands, letting her tremble in his grasp as he felt her voice in his shoulder. Her voice was shaking, soft, and lingering even after she had left. "Please, Sirius, don't. Please."

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

_Prongs,_

_Shit. Moony and Alice are getting out of here fast. I mean __**fast**__. I think I've got things under control. I'm stuck with Mira, believe it or not. This is moving way too bloody fast, and she's the only thing I've got here. Just get Evans with you, and wait for me. I'll be there as soon as I can. Don't ask questions, and don't write back. __**Please**__._

_Sirius_

James blanched. Sirius hadn't signed his given names in a letter to him in three years. Something was wrong. He had to act, and he did, quickly.

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

_Lily,_

_My parents are on their way to pick you up. Get your stuff together. Just do it, __**please**__, I'll explain everything once you get here. As much as I know, at least. Please._

_James_

Lily swallowed. Something was wrong. She _knew_ it! Her stuff was packed within seconds; she had been waiting for something like this. Running down the stairs, she looked at her mother and father with an ashen face and large green eyes. Sitting, she swallowed again and explained the events of the past two weeks as briefly as she could, doing everything to keep them from worrying about her. As tears filled her eyes, the thought of her friend in danger too much for her to bear, her father leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Of course, Lily. The Quirke's have talked about the Potters before, and if you're willing to spend part of your summer with your hated foe, it isn't our place to deny you. And let us know if Alice and Cela are safe. Be careful, _please_, that's all I ask."

Less a pushover than her husband, Mrs. Evans knelt before her daughter. "If we are to let you go anywhere, we must meet these Potters first. And you must _promise_ to keep yourself safe under _any_ circumstances. Promise, please?"

Knowing her mother's strictness was only out of concern, Lily nodded and hugged her parents, "I promise. Thank you so much. I just need to make sure that Alice and Cela are okay."

The doorbell rang and when Lily opened the door to face a man with James' features, she knew it was the Potters. "Mr. Potter?"

"Andrew Potter at your service, Miss Evans," he replied gallantly, sweeping a messy-haired woman to his side as he bowed. "And my wife, Elizabeth. James informed you that we were coming, am I correct?"

"Oh! Of course, he did. Come in, please, come in."

Andrew Potter was one of the most gorgeous men she had ever seen, partly because he had James Potter's features without his wild hair, and Lily wondered how the messy-haired woman had ever landed such a beauty. However, as she looked again at the woman she saw strikingly beautiful features, a radiant face and bright eyes that made the messy hair disappear. With a quick twist, Mrs. Potter had her hair up, the messy strands suddenly looking irresistibly tousled. Gaping for a moment, she blushed as the woman touched her cheek gently. "Lily Evans? You really _are_ as beautiful as James said. It's a pleasure to meet you at last. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances."

She touched Lily's shoulder lightly, turning toward where her husband and Mr. Evans were speaking. Voice soft, she greeted Mrs. Evans with a brilliant smile before turning to her husband, "Andrew, we should hurry. You're still on call."

Wondering at the composure of James' father, Lily watched as Andrew Potter tensed momentarily. "Of course. Mr. Evans, if you don't mind, we'll rush off. If you leave your number, I can call you and arrange for a portkey to bring you to our house tomorrow or the day after. It's in Lily's best interest to be at our house, she'll be much better protected, and with the news we've been receiving it is most certainly better safe than sorry. I do hope you understand."

"Please," Mrs. Evans said with a laugh, motioning for Lily to go get her trunk, "Lily's been preoccupied enough for us to consent to anything that relaxes her. Will Alice and Celaeno be okay?"

"We're doing everything in our power to make sure they are," Elizabeth Potter said softly. "Andrew's an auror at the Ministry, he's more capable than most. Oh, Lily darling, let me help you with that!"

With a small flick of her wrist, Elizabeth Potter levitated the trunk and let it drop at her side. Saying goodbye to the Evans couple, hand on Lily's shoulder, Elizabeth Potter followed her husband, Lily's trunk in his arms, out the door. "Anyone watching Eli?"

Glancing around, she shook her head. "Please, Andrew, _muggles_. We're okay. Grab my hand, please, Lily. We're going to apparate."

Lily felt an uncomfortable sensation and she closed her eyes, opening them to see a large manor in the beautiful countryside. Feeling a wave of shock, she followed Elizabeth Potter's gentle guiding hand. She stood, silent and still surprised, grinning to herself as she watched tall, wiry James Potter flung himself over the side of the stairs. Catapulting himself into the petite woman's arms, he kissed her fondly, "Mum! Back so soon?"

Squeezing her son tightly, Elizabeth Potter returned the kiss as only a mother could, beaming at him. "Please, James. You were the one who was rushing to get pretty Lily here. Go help your father, will you? Or show Lily to her room. You know what. I'll go help your father. Show Lily to her room, please. Lily darling, James will take you to your room."

"Yes Mum," James said with a smile, kissing her cheek fondly and beaming at Lily. "Evans! Merlin, that feels awkward. Come on, Lily, you'll be up this way."

"Your house is huge."

"Hi to you too."

Blushing, Lily smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry. Alice said your family was rich, but I wasn't expecting anything like this."

"Please, Lily, don't worry about it. Mum says that Alice and Remus should be getting here any minute now, if they're on time. Alice's parents are still on holiday, so she was going to be coming here, and I talked Moony into staying with us for a few days before going home, so they'll both be floo-ing here when they leave Sirius and Venatici."

"Okay. Have you heard anything from them?"

"I'll tell you all about that once you're settled. Here is it, hope you like it."

Lily was speechless. It was as though the room had been designed especially for her. "It's perfect."

James blushed, shuffling his feet. "I mean, it's no big deal. Just a guest room. I mean, I had our house elf add some stuff I knew you liked, but it isn't much."

"James Potter, acting humble?" Lily teased, going to sit on the large fluffy bed. "I think the apocalypse may be coming!"

"Funny, Evans," James teased in return, grinning as he sat across from her. "So, what's been going on other than this whole mess with our friends? Now that we're being civil we may as well talk some."

James felt his heart swell and burst as Lily smiled at him. Forgetting his worry about his best friend, smitten James Potter let himself be carried away by the bright green eyes.

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

"Where's Mira?"

"I don't know," Alice replied, looking uncertain.

They had been together for nearly twenty-four hours, without Mira Celaeno, and they hadn't even heard scattered screams and cold laughter that typically accompanied the young woman's "punishment". Of course, it had begun as simple rounds of _crucio_ that had seemed more standard than threatening. And nothing had seemed serious. Not until Alice had been taken to see Procyon Venatici. Especially when she and Remus were to be leaving within the hour. When Alice had returned, safe, Remus and Sirius had hoped for news. "Please, Alice, did you see _anything_?"

Looking at Remus sorrowfully, she managed hoarsely, "Nothing. Cela's dad just talked to me, really civilly, like nothing was going on. I saw Death Eaters walking by the room. There's a whole bunch of them, not just her dad, Sirius, but a whole gang of them. I asked Venatici what was going on. I begged, almost. I don't think I've said please so many times in one sitting. But he didn't budge. Just said that Remus and I would be leaving as scheduled. He's kept that part of his word, too well. Please, don't be mad. I tried."

"Not at you," Sirius said shortly. Stiffening, he looked at Remus carefully. "They won't check on us soon, will they? Since they just left you here, Alice, it'll be a while before they head back this way. You guys are supposed to leave in an hour. We can figure this out before then. Remus, let's cast a disillusionment charm and go find her. If we can't get her out, at least we can see if she's okay. And I already have our stuff, me and Mira's, if we can manage to get out."

"I'm staying. I won't go out there again. I love her, but I don't want to risk anything. If they catch us they'll hurt her. You two go. And _please_, tell me if she's okay."

Sirius nodded, casting the charm quickly and waiting for Remus to do the same. Gulping down air, the tall young man nodded and with his best friend they slid out of the room. "I wish we had the Marauder's Map," Remus muttered darkly, pleased to see Sirius' sombre features twitch in an unwanted grin.

"Shh," he said softly, sneaking around a corner, "I hear something."

They edged closer, and they heard it alright. The screams pierced their hearts and they flung themselves at the crack in the window. Their blood froze and anger filled them so that it overflowed. Death Eaters were not supposed to resort to muggle methods like that! Especially not to Mira Celaeno, whose dark eyes were wide with terror as she screamed, fighting like a wildcat. Too stunned, too horrified, too incensed to move, they stared in horror as she was invaded again, and again. The screams that came forth, the pallor of her face, the terror in her eyes, would haunt them forever. "Please," Sirius gasped. "Please, leave her alone."

He choked as the masked man grabbed Celaeno by the throat, tossing her down and shoving himself in her mouth. She sobbed, recoiling and screaming as a boot came in hard contact with her face. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, choking on the red substance as she screamed in pain. It was never supposed to happen with that much force, not to anyone, and Remus felt something in him break as he watched the girl he had been kissing only a day earlier be violated by yet another masked man. And both boys felt a mixture of fear, disgust, and anger as hands clamped on their necks. "Well, well, well. Look what we have here."

Forgetting that these men would not pity them, Sirius sobbed helplessly, "Please, please. Dear Merlin, you have to help her! Please!"

Cold laughter filling their ears, the two felt their souls break a little as the door flew open and they had to face Mira Celaeno. The man was still inside her, and her desperate attempts to fight faded into shame and horror. Tears trickled over her white cheeks, mixing with blood and sweat, and she stilled. She convulsed, blood bubbling from her lips as she bit her tongue to stop another scream. She didn't want them to see her like this; she didn't want them to be a part of this. She had asked for this, hadn't she? To get them out of this hell, and it had backfired.

"Leave her alone! Bloody hell! Please, leave her alone! Please, dear Merlin!"

Silently she prayed for Sirius to shut up, though Remus' terrified silence drove burning needles through her already shattered heart. What was left of her shuddered, tears streaming over her cheeks as she heard Sirius scream, throwing himself at the Death Eaters. Grabbed firmly around the chest, Sirius found himself looking into the cold eyes of Procyon Venatici. "I told you to stay out, didn't I? Get the other one out of here, he and the girl are supposed to leave now anyway. Put this one where he can watch. Let him see what his _protection_ got this bitch. It won't hurt him."

"Please," Sirius begged, terror on his face as Mira Celaeno lay motionless, her tears the only sign of life from her still form.

Remus grabbed at Sirius as he felt the other boy be pulled away. "No! Please!"

"_Please_, oh look at me! _Please_!"

Tears burning his eyes at the mockery, his eyes locked on Sirius', and he nodded as Sirius mouthed, "The Ministry. Get to the Ministry."

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

Alice sat awkwardly in the corner, curled in a ball and helpless as she watched Elizabeth Potter hold Remus, letting him cry it out. They had been to the Ministry, and there was nothing more to be done. They would leave for St. Mungo's in an hour, as Andrew Potter had gone to Celaeno's parents and they were waiting for his return. Alice may have wanted to see Lily, or even James, but now she just wanted to get to St. Mungo's, to wait for Mira Celaeno, and not to leave until her friend arrived.

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

He screamed, pounding on the transparent wall as he shook with sobs. "Please! Stop! Leave her alone! NO! DON'T!"

The brand seared into her skin and she screamed, shrieking like a banshee and collapsing onto the floor. Her hair was short, boyishly so, and Sirius knew that the cut had been nearly as painful for her as any physical torture. He could hear her screams, watch her cry, and he could do nothing as she slowly began to break. It was _wrong_, and he would have given his life to see it end. Sliding onto the ground, he sobbed helplessly and watched as the girl he had grown to love was tortured to the edge of her life.

-

The door opened with a jerk and he snapped to attention. What were they going to do to him? He was too stunned to move as the beaten bundle was thrown carelessly into the room. Tears of relief streaming over his face, he pulled her into his corner and caressed her gently. "Mira. Dear Merlin. Please Mira, wake up. Please, tell me you'll be okay. Please, please, please."

Her eyes fluttered and she was too weak, too broken to fight him. "Go ahead," she gasped. "I'm ready for it."

She thought he was going to torture her as well. The idea tortured _him_, and he cried out vehemently, rocking her desperately, "No! Mira, it's me! It's Sirius! They have me too. Remus and Alice are gone. They've been gone for four or five days. They're doing all they can. Look at me, please. Please, let me know that Mira's still there somewhere. _Please_."

"Sirius?"

"Yes, it's me. Merlin, Mira, it's me."

"Please, don't let them take me. Please, it hurts. Please."

One week ago Sirius would have thought it unmanly and weak to sob helplessly as he was now. Now there was nothing unmanly about it. "You're with me. We're the same. You're all I have right now. You're all the family I've got. Please, believe me. I won't let them take you. I'll fight them."

"Please, don't fight them. Just hide me. My Sirius, right? Good brother. Please, just don't let it hurt."

Holding her tightly, nodding, Sirius passed out. "All I've got left, Mira."

Looking at him through eyes more alert than they had been moments before, Mira let tears slide over her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Please, forgive me."

Why she was sorry, why she was asking forgiveness, were reasons only her half-crazed mind could have understood. But she was stronger than anyone could have guessed, a strength that showed itself vividly as she pressed a kiss to his forehead and lay down beside him, "We're together, at least. Please, in the name of Merlin, don't let me lose him. He's my family now. Please."

– 03 – 03 – 03 –

"Aww," she cooed, her voice pitiless. For hours they had been together, sleeping in silence and holding each other tightly in terror. "_Pretty please, Mummy, can I take them out to play_?"

Eyes widening, Mira Celaeno shrank into Sirius, whispering furiously, "Please, don't let them take me. I love you, I love you, I love you. Please. Please. Pl –"

Her fervent pleading was cut short by a scream as strong, brutal hands grabbed her around the waist. She squirmed, fighting the grasp as she felt rough fingers grope her and enter her ruthlessly. Sirius screamed, his anger turning into pain as he felt the swords prick his skin from every angle. So this was what an unforgivable felt like. It fell from him and he watched, helpless, as Celaeno was violated, again. "Mira!" he cried hoarsely. "Look at me! Please! I love you!"

She was left there, lying still, eyes closed on the pain and dirtiness that filled her. He grabbed her shoulders to shake her, to see her dark eyes look into his, and his jaw tightened in pained realization as she refused to look at him. So quickly, and she was already afraid of him as well. He sat, knees and palms flush against the cold floor, and he watched in horror as she was taken away, his voice hoarse as she left. "_Please_."

When she was brought into the room opposite the transparent wall he plastered himself to it, beating at the wall and watching as she was whipped, the blood slowly seeping to the surface of her broken skin. He watched as the wand came forward, and he couldn't identify the spell for the blood ringing in his ears. Eyes wide, he could not break his gaze as she shuddered, shivering violently as her lips, fingers, and toes blued, the rest of her skin reddening and blistering from the cold. He would never be able to estimate how long those hours lasted, for to him it was an eternity. Far from the end of her "punishment", he turned and retched as she was raped. It seemed that sexual torture was their favourite and when they left her she fell to the floor, body shaking as she vomited blood. Fixed on the horrific sight before him, he watched as she passed out.

The creature on the floor did not look like Mira Celaeno. Mira Celaeno was lively, beautiful, with flawless skin, shining eyes, and bright features. This creature was bloody, crumpled, blistered, discoloured, with hollow eyes and bloodless face that served as a brutal reminder that she was no more than a shell of whoever she may once have been. Like he had countless times before, Sirius wished Remus was there. Remus was the smart one. He would have thought of _some_ way to get her out of there.

It was a tedious process. Unable to sleep from anticipation and worry, unable to focus from exhaustion and hunger, Sirius watched her. She would alternate from slumping forward in resignation, a lifeless rag when her tormentors were gone, to fighting madly in terror, a panicked wildcat when her tormentors were present. Slowly she began to break, her physical wounds appearing as though they were healing. But the blue tinge never left her and the blood she vomited seemed of an endless supply.

Weak, helpless, and utterly lost, she succumbed to the physical demand of her injuries. Though she still fought, though she still screamed, her body could not keep up with her desperation any longer. And the Death Eaters lost interest. As resigned as she, though for his mental torment rather than physical, Sirius felt a new wave of determination seep through him as he heard her last word. She managed it hoarsely, as though it would save her while endless amounts of persistence, capability, and strength had not. "Please."


	4. Promise Me

They would never suspect it. She was too broken, he too distraught. The security was lax, only because for any two normal human beings no security would have been necessary. But Sirius Black was no normal human being, nor was Celaeno Venatici, and thanks to the work of the Death Eaters they were now bonded by a power that was greater than anything dark wizards knew how to deal with. He bided his time. He had to, after all. They wouldn't regret killing her, and him, if he was caught. Swallowing, he peered out the room. He glanced back at the transparent wall. She was conscious, good, but the fear in her mutilated form was palpable. Hating the people who had done this to her with a fire that could have motivated him to do anything, Sirius pushed past the wards and entered her room. Looking at her, he breathed in deeply and prayed that she would be strong enough to forgive him. "Promise me," he managed, "that you'll get better. Promise me that."

– 04 – 04 – 04 – 04 –

She looked up at him with wide eyes, the expression on her face a clear reminder of his promise to her, his promise to keep her safe.

"I'm getting you out of here, Mira. We're going to get out."

She recoiled, terrified of him despite the voice in her head that screamed for her to trust him. She couldn't trust him. What if this was another of their games? What if they had him under a curse? She couldn't be used again, not by him. She didn't know what would happen to her if _he_ ever used her. Not when he was the only person she could trust.

He ignored her gesture, reaching out. Jerking away, she screamed in pain and held herself tightly, moving away from him as she twitched in agony. She was more scared of him than she was of pain, he thought in resignation. He sat, looking at her levelly and saying softly, "I'm going to wait for you. I promised I'd keep you safe, and I promised myself I would get you out of here. So I'm going to sit here and wait until you're ready to trust me. If the Death Eaters come, so be it. I _will_ get you out of here."

He knew she trusted him; it was them that she was terrified of. In pain rather than in fear, she turned and gagged, blood and bile pouring from her mouth. "Can I help you?"

She didn't say anything, but continued vomiting. He jumped forward, wand at the ready. Then he thought better of using his wand. After all, the Death Eaters might be able to sense it. He didn't want to be discovered until it was too late for the Death Eaters to do anything. Reaching out to rub her back, he felt tears fill behind his eyes as she leapt away from him, choking on something rising in her throat as she struggled not to scream. She turned into the corner, retching again, but she resurfaced quickly this time, watching him warily. She was _not_ going to let herself get hurt again!

He sat, unable to hurt her more by pushing her, and he lost track of time even more as he watched the ghostly figure avoid his probing gaze. Of course she would be afraid of him, he had expected that. He had not expected her to prefer pain to his assistance. That had been unthinkable to him.

The sounds started, and he froze. He had to act, now, whether she was ready for it or not. Bracing himself, prepared to hurt her now to save her later, he swallowed thickly and stepped forward.

She screamed when he touched her, her bloodless face blanched by terror and her large eyes monstrous. He grabbed her roughly, gentling as she fought him like a madwoman. Stroking her, soothing her, tears streaming over his cheeks as he whispered foolish nonsense to her, he held her in a vice-like grip and murmured, "Mira, Mira, please. It's just me. Just Sirius. I swear it. You're brother, remember? It's me. I love you. Don't fight me. I'm going to get you out of here. Just stay, we're going to get far away from here and nothing's going to happen to you."

The sounds that came out of her mouth were hysterical, her body convulsing as she collapsed into his arms weakly. James, Sirius thought desperately. He had to get to James'. The Potters would know what to do. They would take her to St. Mungo's; he had no idea where he was going except that he needed to get her out of here. Forgetting that it wasn't what he was supposed to do, ignoring the alternating sobs and screams of Mira Celaeno, Sirius stood weakly. His heart ripped and shattered as she convulsed, screaming and beating at him, and he held her tightly. He had to convince her to trust him, or she would hurt herself. "You love me, Mira. I love you, more than anything right now. Just stop fighting me and I swear on James, Remus, and Peter that nothing will happen to you. A Marauder's vow, I'm serious, please Mira. Let me get you away from here, somewhere safe. I won't let anything happen to you."

Pressing his lips to her forehead, he winced as she tore away from him, falling to the ground and screaming in pain as her mutilated body hit concrete. Dropping down besides her, chest heaving as he bit back his own sobs, he pressed his lips to her forehead again, more insistently this time, and held her gently. "I won't hurt you. I would never touch you like that. Just – please – let me get you somewhere safe. I'm taking you to the Potters and to St. Mungo's. You'll be safe. I swear it."

"Promise me."

"What?!" Sirius yelped, shock momentarily stilling his tears. Those were the first words Mira Celaeno had said since she had been taken from his room days ago.

"Promise me you'll stay. That you –"

"What?" Sirius demanded, all but screaming as he clutched her desperately and he did scream as her eyes rolled back into her head and her body began to convulse. "Mira! Merlin, no, no, no. Hold on Mira, I won't let anything happen to you."

Lifting her up, feeling her blood seep onto his arms and into his robes, he sobbed as he removed his wand. Powerful enough a wizard to apparate with the girl despite his condition, Sirius found himself metres away from the Potter's house. Their trunks shrunken in his pocket, as he had been suspicious enough to pack them a week earlier, he found himself unable to move. Feeling as though his legs had filled with lead, Sirius attempted to move, forcing himself to step forward as he willed Mr. and Mrs. Potter to emerge. Not James, he didn't think could face his best friend now, but he needed Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

Thoughts of magic gone from his mind, he marvelled as Mr. Potter peered outside, exclaiming wildly as he saw Sirius stumble forward. Mrs. Potter followed her husband soon afterward, rushing toward Sirius and catching the shaken boy as Mr. Potter lifted Mira Celaeno from him. Falling into Mrs. Potter's arms like an invalid trying to walk, Sirius managed painfully, "St. Mungo's. She needs St. –"

"We know Sirius, we know," Mr. Potter said hurriedly. "So do you. Come on, Mrs. Potter will Floo with you, I'm apparating with her."

"No!" Sirius all but screamed, lunging out of Mrs. Potter's arms and crumbling like a rag doll as she caught him around the waist. "I stay with her. Promised – I said – Not leaving –"

Understanding the boy's desperation, Mr. and Mrs. Potter apparated straight away, their status gaining them instant entry, though the mangled body of Mira Celaeno did nothing to slow the process. Grabbing Sirius by the shoulders as he forced the boy to sit while she was taken away, Mr. Potter looked at him carefully. "Sirius, you have to tell us what happened. For your sake and for hers."

"They tortured her," Sirius recited like a drone, numbed by pain and sorrow now that Mira Celaeno had been taken away. "They did things to her – I didn't know you could do that to a human being without killing them."

Even numb, Sirius felt the biting pain of sorrow and he broke down, face falling into his hands as he sobbed. Rubbing the young man's back and ignoring his own tightened jaw at the sight of such terror in a boy he knew so well, Mr. Potter summoned a healer with his free hand. "It's okay, Sirius. You did well; you did everything you could for her. Let the healers treat you and Mrs. Potter will take you home."

Grabbing Mr. Potter's hand as the man stood, Sirius looked up at his best friend's father. "Tell her mum."

"That's where I'm going, my boy. It'll be okay."

"I can't go back there now. I won't."

Stopping and kneeling before Sirius, Mr. Potter couldn't help but smile as the healer handed him five shrunken trunks. "Nobody can get you back now. You'll stay with us, Mrs. Potter won't mind, James will be thrilled, and I won't let them get their slimy hands on you again. Don't worry anymore. We'll take care of everything."

He stepped out, running into his wife and wrapping his arms around her as she shuddered, "My brother's here, with Cela's mother. Waiting. Remus and Alice finally got through to the Ministry yesterday and told them what was happening. Nobody's seen or heard from Sirius or Cela until now. It's been nearly a week, Andrew."

"The kid's hysterical, Eli."

"He saw everything. That's the word from Remus, that Sirius was watching the entire thing. He said he heard some of it, and Alice knows what happened somewhat, but Sirius was right there and couldn't do anything about it. They tortured him too, though he may not think of it as his own torture."

"Of course he wouldn't. You saw him, love. He went into hysterics when we tried to separate them. I didn't think he would go so far for a Venatici."

"They raped her, Andrew. Or a spell as bad. She's been messed up, badly. There was very little of the cruciatous; I think they wanted her fully aware of what was happening."

Andrew Potter's jaw tightened as he stroked his wife's hair. "They're evil, we've known that. Sirius did what he could. Look, you stay here. I'll get Remus and Alice and take them back before James and Lily notice us being gone. You come back with Sirius. The boy's with us now."

"Of course. I never thought he wouldn't be. I'll be home soon."

Fury and sorrow boiling at the thought of what had been done to a girl he thought of as his niece, Andrew Potter entered the room where his brother-in-law sat, hands fisted in his hair as Remus and Alice sat in subdued silence. Jumping to their feet, the two looked at him expectantly, reassured by his weak smile and attentive as he grasped the other man's shoulder. "She's going to be okay. Sirius took care of her."

"So I've heard," the other man managed hoarsely. "I won't accept that until I can see her. Her mother's mad with grief. Prewett took her to get some coffee, trying to calm her down. It won't work. She won't calm until she sees Cela."

Kneeling before his surrogate brother, Andrew Potter said firmly, "She's got the best care. She'll be fine. And our house is always open, you know that."

The man nodded, hugging his friend tightly and saying, "Get the kids out of here. They've done enough; they deserve the relief."

"So do you, but I will. Get some rest, it won't do her any good to exhaust yourself. Promise me you won't exhaust yourself."

Laughing bitterly, the man waved Andrew off and watched as Mr. Potter took the two by the arms and led them back to Godric's Hollow.

– 04 – 04 – 04 – 04 –

"Promise me you'll be okay. I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier. I'm sorry I didn't get you out of there sooner. I'm sorry this had to happen. I still don't know what I promised, but whatever it is, please be okay. As long as you're okay I can't ask for anything else. Promise me you'll be okay. Promise me that you'll get past this, that you'll be stronger than they expect you to be. Promise me that you'll survive long enough for us to put this entirely behind us. Promise me!"

Dark eyes filled with tears, eyes that completely missed the young woman watching with tears in her own emerald eyes. Sob breaking through, as though from the very depths of his soul, he managed desperately. "I love you, I love you so much. Don't leave me. You're my family, you're everything. I need you. I need you to come back and say everything's going to be okay. You _have_ to be okay! I can't deal with it without you! I need you there. My everything, you're all I have left! You can't leave me! Promise me. You said that you wouldn't leave me, now keep your promise! Dammit! Promise me you'll be okay. That's all I'm asking."

– 04 – 04 – 04 – 04 –

She lay there, still as her dark eyes stared up at the ceiling in the dark. There was no one there. Nobody knew she was awake. That was how she wanted it. She didn't want them there, not yet. In the cold, dark silence she felt safe. Nobody would get her here. She felt secure, and only one thing could have made her feel more so. Hugging herself in the darkness, feeling tears creep past her guard, she whispered brokenly, "You promised me. Just come back and I promise I'll – I promise."


	5. The Aftermath

_**A/N **– Thanks very much to everyone who's been keeping up with this story. Sorry about the delay in the updates, and hope you enjoy this particularly long chapter – it was one of my favourites to write!_

– 05 – 05 – 05 – 05 – 05 –

1"Was she worth it?" James asked, looking at his best friends with the eyes of a man many years their senior. "Look at what happened. Was she really worth it?"

Alice looked up and gaped at him, stunned he could even _say_ such a thing, but Remus spoke first, "More than you will ever know Prongs. More than you can even imagine."

Turning to face them, Lily asked softly, her own memory of last night leaving her certain that she knew the answer, "Did you love her?"

Eyes closing on pain, Sirius nodded, "I _do_. More than you know Lily Evans. I can't remember ever loving anyone like I love her."

"Look what happened because of her," James repeated numbly, shaking his head in disbelief.

Something in Sirius broke and his eyes darkened dangerously. Alice stood and approached him as Remus looked at her beseechingly. They knew what to do when his eyes were violent and savage like that. But she didn't get there quickly enough, for Sirius grabbed James by the shirt, growling viciously, "She caused none of it. She was stuck in the middle of something that she shouldn't have been exposed to. You blame it on her and I _will_ kill you, regardless of who you are. Never _once_ did she lift a finger to hurt _anyone_, even when they hurt her. It's sick, _sick_, to blame it on her when she deserved _none_ of it!"

He shoved James away, completely oblivious to the absolute terror on his best friend and Lily's faces as he whirled away from them. His back still towards them, and his voice shaking, he placed a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Moony, mate. You saw too. What they did to her?"

James stared in horror as Remus' face tightened, paling drastically as he managed hoarsely, "We heard her Padfoot. And we couldn't go to her. She never moved. It was like she _let_ them touch her."

It was a completely unprecedented action as Alice grabbed Remus by the shoulders and said, "No, it wasn't. She would _never_ let them. Not when she _knew_ you were there. Why else do you think she stopped screaming? Merlin. What did they _do_ to her?!"

The voice that came from the doorway was of a face they had all trusted, and they all turned to see Gideon Prewett, "Answer your own question, Alice. They destroyed her. Merlin, I've never seen them do _that_ to someone. And a pureblood at that. She woke up today, but she won't let anyone near her. Fabian went in to see her, and she near scratched his eyes out. You know what happened, why she wouldn't want him around."

Lily took a step forward and asked, "What about her mum? Or her step-dad? Did they go see her?"

Shaking his head, Gideon replied, "They won't let anyone see her until they can get a Healer in there. Probably by tomorrow they will have. Her step-dad was there when I left. Merlin, he's been there non-stop since he found out. I don't think he's slept since he came in either."

At the news of his uncle, James stood, but Gideon's gaze withered on him. "He told me to tell you explicitly that you're a fool of a seventeen year old. And that he expects higher behaviour from you next time he sees you. Just so you know."

With a snort, Sirius nodded, "Thanks Prewett. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, to see her. I need to see her."

Nodding, a slight smile gracing his face, Gideon patted him on the back and disapparated, leaving them alone again. Daring to touch the boy, Lily asked gently, "Sirius? What happened to her? I know you were there, and Remus was a little too, but nobody's told me anything."

"They tortured her," Remus snapped gruffly. "And there are plenty more options open to a man torturing a woman. And they used all of them. Need I go into detail?"

Lily, her definition of torture eternally different from the glassy image James held, paled and Alice shuddered. The two watched as Sirius' hand grasped her forearm and she turned to him. The girl who had been unable to stand Sirius the year before let herself be pulled into a comforting embrace. Remus sank into the chair and swore violently, fisting his hands in his hair. Looking up, he managed softly, "I'm going with you to see her."

Instantly Sirius stiffened and knelt down beside the werewolf, asking, "Are you sure? I saw what happened, but she's accepted that. You heard, dammit, and she _knows_ you were there. Are you sure you want to go _tomorrow_ to see her?"

Looking up, Remus' golden eyes bored in Sirius, "More than you know." And it was settled. No one could argue with the dark desperation in his eyes. Nor did anyone want to.

– 05 – 05 – 05 – 05 – 05 –

Sirius went in first, his dark eyes probing the still features. "Mira. How are you?"

She said nothing, moved nothing, and she appeared to be more of a statue than a girl as she lay immobile on the bed. "Your step dad's been worried sick, and your mum. The Prewetts have been driving us batty, the Potters are going crazy themselves. And you've got me, Remus, and Alice ready to beat our brains out."

There was still no response, and Sirius looked at Remus, trying another tactic. Reaching forward, kissing her hand gently, he started over, "I never found out what I was promising you. You scared me, so badly."

"You already broke it."

Relieved to hear her voice, despite the muted distance her pain and sorrow yielded, Sirius buried his face into the blanket by her side, "Well what was it?"

"Get out Sirius. Come back in when you can look at me without pity. When you don't blame yourself for what happened. And take Remus, Alice, and Lily with you."

"What about James?"

"He doesn't make me feel disgusting."

"Cela!" Alice exclaimed, shock on her features as James and Lily exchanged uncertain glances.

Eyes still closed, Mira Celaeno showed no sign of response, tensing as Remus spoke softly, "We don't pity you. We worry about you. Is that wrong? You aren't disgusting. If you were we wouldn't have tried so hard to make sure you're okay."

Sitting straight up in the bed, eyes flashing open with a ferocious pain that wrenched James' heart, she said bitterly, "Well maybe you shouldn't have! Maybe you should invest your time and energy somewhere worthwhile and leave me be!"

Taking in the bead of bruises around her neck, the bandages around her arms and chest, the cuts along her body, and the burn marks on her arms, James wondered what exactly had happened. Sitting down beside her best friend, Lily ignored the tears burning at the back of her eyes and hugged her tightly. "I missed you. Please, don't ever make me worry like that again."

"They found out about you. You're in danger now, because of me. Stop pretending it doesn't matter."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later. James and Sirius and Alice are all in danger too, and you're the only one in the hospital. Stop feeling guilty, you didn't ask for any of this."

"Yes she did," Sirius pointed out, grunting as Remus smacked him mercilessly. "Dammit, Mira. Don't be bitter with us for worrying."

"Do they know?"

"Do they know what?"

Eyes flashing, Cela repeated dangerously, "Don't play with me Black. Do they know?"

"The only people I've told are the healers, I swear. Mrs. Potter knows, because she wouldn't leave me by myself. I never left you. I kept that promise."

"Did you hear the spell? Did you understand it?"

Her eyes turned to Remus now and Alice watched as Remus shook his head. Sirius nodded softly in Remus' stead, "I heard, but I didn't understand it. Moony wasn't there anymore."

"Ask the healers. I don't want to talk anymore."  
Leaning back and closing her eyes, Mira Celaeno jumped up with a sob of terror as James grabbed her arm. Sitting in the chair, eyes boring into her features, his voice was hard, "Stop it Celaeno! They were worried about you and all you can do is toy with them! Stop playing victim; they weren't your attackers!"

Tears filled her eyes, not from his words but from his proximity. Remus reached out for her, to soothe her, and her breath hitched. Seizing up and curling into a ball, Celaeno swallowed a hollow scream and fell backwards in a frantic attempt to get away from them. Alice shook her head, pain lancing through her at the sight of Cela's sudden aversion for men. She fell, her soft cry of pain making Sirius' eyes close in agony. Holding her in his arms, he caught her as she flailed at him. Resting her against his chest, clasping her tightly against him, he ignored her convulsions. "It's just me Mira. None of us are going to hurt you. Nobody's going to touch you. I swear it. I'll kill them myself. It was just Remus. You know he would never do that. Hush, listen to me. Stop fighting me Mira! Dammit! I've got you now."

Pressing his lips to her hair, Sirius shook his head and hid his face. "Don't do this Mira. We love you."

Sobbing incoherent nonsense, she let him rock her steadily. Lily watched, tears trickling over her cheeks as Sirius looked up at Remus sorrowfully, mouthing an apology. James shuddered, knowing he deserved the dirty look Sirius sent him. Grabbing a potion off her side table, reading it, Sirius stroked her hair and said softly, "You're going to sleep. Let Lily and Alice kiss you goodbye. And let us touch you, nobody will hurt you."

Curled into a ball, Cela nodded and meekly returned Lily and Alice's gestures, allowing herself to be squeezed with the love of friends. Kneeling, James stroked her cheek and said softly, "I'm sorry."

Her eyes closed on tears as Remus stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We'll be here when you wake up Cela, I promise."

Making an effort not to flinch at the gentle touch, she struggled to find her words. "I'm sorry I didn't listen."

"I sorry you had to."

Her jaw tightened slightly, her dark eyes watering as she turned away. Sliding off the bed and stroking her hair, Sirius looked at her and murmured, "I'm going to have to tell them. They deserve to know."

She nodded, tears trickling over her cheeks. Wiping her cheeks furiously, Sirius winced as she managed, "Just don't leave me alone."

"I won't, little Mira. Now drink this and sleep."

"You'll leave."

Holding her tightly, pressing a kiss to her hair, he shook his head. "No, I won't. If you need me, I'll be here."

Looking up at Remus, Sirius's wide eyes darted toward the bottle. Nodding as he sat on the other edge of Cela's bed, Remus stroked her face lightly and tilted to potion into her mouth. "One of us will be here, don't worry. Trust us."

"I do," she murmured, her last conscious thought of Sirius holding her against his chest. "It's me I don't."

Laying her back down, Sirius looked at Remus and cursed violently. Lily looked at him reproachfully, though there was little threat through the worry in her eyes. Shaking his head, Remus motioned for them to go. "Coffee. We'll need it soon enough. She has another couple of hours before she wakes."

They left the room and went, getting coffee in silence. Over two hours passed, with the same heavy silence between them. And it was Remus who turned to Sirius this time. "When did she trust you like that? I mean, I know she trusted us, but nothing like that. Not anything like that."

"She knows I saw everything. When we left, they'd left her there. They thought she was finished. When they left her there I went in after her. She was still hysterical. She was trying to fight me, screaming every time she moved because it hurt, but she was more afraid of me than afraid of the pain. It took over an hour for her to calm down enough for me to get her out of there. I was afraid she was going to die before I could. She started convulsing when I tried to pick her up, and it wasn't until she blacked out that I was able to pick her up and leave."

"If you're that scared, and you wake up safe, you figure you can trust the person who took you away," James said softly.

Sirius shot him a dirty look and the boy looked back levelly. "What? I didn't get that it was that bad. I figured it would've been the Cruciatous, and then if she was still sane it couldn't have been that bad."

"As a muggle-lover, they saw it fit to use muggle methods with magical additions."

Lily winced, stopping and grabbing Sirius' hand, "Will she be okay?"

"No," the healer said, looking at them. All of the teens stopped, looking at the man in horror. "One of the curses, the one you didn't catch Mr. Black, was to make the room cold. Think Northern Scotland on a wet winter night cold. Plus some other dark additions that we can't identify. She has consumption, like muggle tuberculosis."

"But tuberculosis is treatable. She'll be okay."

"Miss?" the healer asked. "If it were merely muggle tuberculosis we wouldn't have a problem. With the blow her body's taken it would have been hard enough. Now she doesn't have a chance, they put a spell on her, we have no idea what it is, that prevents her from accepting the medication. It made her sick earlier, we had to pump her stomach the muggle way to keep her from being asphyxiated right there. We can treat it, delay it. But she will die before she reaches thirty, there's no way around that. She knows."

"No, you're lying. She isn't going to die. She's going to be okay."

"It's going to be years. No need to worry, Ms. Quirke. Death happens, we all run the risk. She just has a better idea of how long she has left."

"No!" Remus roared, tears in his eyes. "She isn't dying!"

The healer started, watched as Sirius grabbed Remus across the chest and held him firmly in place. "Moony," Sirius started, pain etched in his features. "Moony. Moony!"  
Remus froze, letting Sirius whirl him around. "Moony, that isn't going to help. They'll find a cure. It's ten years before we even have to start worrying. They'll find a cure by then."

The healer nodded and left, unable to condemn the young man's hope, and Remus looked at Sirius. "You won't be saying that when she starts getting sick."

"Dammit!" Sirius said, face darkening. "What the bloody hell gives you the right to tell me that? I would do anything, _anything _dammit, to keep her safe! I don't care how close you are now; I was the one who had to stay with her! Or did you forget that?"

"Sirius," Alice cut in sharply. "It wasn't our choice to leave you with her. You told us to go. We went to the Ministry, to the Potters and her parents first thing. Like we agreed together. I've known her long enough to assume that Procyon Venatici would stick to his old tricks and not try any new ones!"

"Well, you were wrong," Sirius growled. Then he paused, turning and looking at her carefully. "Venatici's old tricks. Alice, can Mira have children?"

"Of course," she said brusquely, looking quite confused. "Why shouldn't she be able to?"

"I doubt she can now," he said, shaking his head. "Dammit! I need to see her."

"She's asleep. Thanks to you," Lily pointed out. "She needs it. I'd rather have her safe than see her pregnant."

Looking up, Sirius shook his head, "Evans, they used muggle torture tools. It wasn't so clean as a wizard's spell. How many potions do they have her on?"

"A whole lot," Fabian Prewett said, looking at them as he leaned against the wall. "Care for coffee? Come on, the lot of you, my treat. You need one, what with what poor Celaeno's going through."

"Already had some. How are you so close to Mira, Prewett? And how close are you two?" Sirius demanded, eyes narrowing protectively at the thought of the older man being near Mira Celaeno.

Laughing, Fabian shook his head, "Not that close, Black. Think more little sister and less lover. If I ever thought of it, I stopped when she tried to scratch my eyes out. Impressed Gideon, the bastard, but Celaeno's too young for him and he knows it."

"Why are you here?"

"Suspicious prat," Fabian countered. "For good reason, too. Because I'm an auror, because I've known Celaeno for years, and because I'm one of the few people who can actually take you and your posse on."

"In your dreams," James said smoothly, standing beside Sirius.

Raising an eyebrow, noting the pallor in James' face and the shock in his eyes, Fabian's voice was like ice, "So you've seen her then? I don't know how you managed to get her out of there, Black, she was ten time worse two days ago."

Sirius remembered well, face darkening as he croaked, "I know."

Frowning, grasping the young man's shoulder tightly, Fabian led them away. "She'll be alright. I heard the healer talking to you. Mira Celaeno was talking to her mum earlier, most normal I've seen her, and she said that if she was going to die then as long it wasn't now she didn't care. She's a strong bird, she'll pop up again."

"I know. I've seen her do it."

"The three of you have, haven't you?" Fabian said, motioning to Alice, Remus, and Sirius. "Seen what Venatici does when he gets ideas into that head of his?"

"And felt it," Sirius grunted.

Lily stopped and stared at him, the others all freezing. Sceptical about how Lily Evans would react, considering it was Sirius Black, they all felt their eyes widen involuntarily as she flung her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. "Oh, Sirius! We'll make everything okay! It has to be!"

Patting her awkwardly, stunned by both her hug and her addressing him by his given name, Sirius disentangled himself and mumbled incoherently as he shoved her into James' hands, "Let Prongs take care of you. He does a better job than I do."

Though Fabian had to decipher Sirius words, the others froze and four indignant voices rang out at the same time. Face tightening, body tense, Sirius whirled to face them and snapped, "Don't try to make me feel better about it! I had the opportunity to get her out of there before any of this happened and I was too thick to take it! This is my fault as much as Venatici's!"

Stunned into silence, they jumped as a voice said softly, "She'd be disappointed to hear you say that. She asked for you before she permitted them to let me in. I doubt she would _ever_ hold you responsible, especially in comparison to the bastard who hurt her."

Turning slowly to face the strained features of Mira Celaeno's mother, Sirius winced. As acutely aware of people's emotions as her daughter, she sensed his discomfort instantly and drew him into a warm embrace. After he had rejected Lily's similar gesture, his companions were shocked to find him reach up and grasp her tightly. Only after they noticed him stroke her hair, jaw tight, did they realize it was to give comfort as much as to receive it. "I tried. I really did."

"I know. So does Mira. She resents herself for not being strong enough to get over it, not you for your humanity. I don't think she's even thought to blame her father yet. Let alone her father's _keeper_."

Sirius stiffened, staring at the face that was so like Celaeno's. Blanching, he turned and darted back toward her room, ignoring their cries and furious attempt to follow him. And they all froze as they watched him drop down beside her, squeezing her hand until she awoke with a gasp. "Ow!"

"Look at me."

Surprised by the urgency in his voice, Mira Celaeno obeyed with fear in her eyes. "Don't give me that!" Sirius snapped, his face hidden from them while his voice rang with insistence. "I'm not going to hurt you, dammit! Do you know why this happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't care what you bloody want! It's what's good for you! Look at me. Look at me Mira Celaeno!" voice reverberating with hidden power, Mira Celaeno looked up at him carefully. "Do you think this was your fault?"

Instantly able to interpret his sudden softness as concern, she felt tears fill her eyes and she looked away. Finally she managed uncertainly, "I don't know."

Wrapping his arms around her, holding her carefully as he kissed her forehead, he said gently, "You're a bloody idiot. A damn fool."

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

His laugh was bitter, somewhat amused despite his evident agitation. Sitting back, forcing her to look into his endless black eyes, he said firmly, "You're here for one reason. It has nothing to do with you, me, Remus, Alice, or any of the others. It has to do with Voldemort. With his sick idea that who your parents are really matters."

"What if it does?"

Anger flashing over his face, he fought the urge to shake her. Voice soft, he asked softly, "Do you think I'm like my parents?"

"No!"

Her cry was as instinctive as it was shocked. "So how does it matter? How _can_ it matter? You aren't your father. But that's not whose fault it is. It's the fault of the twisted man who started this, who gave their sick ideas a place to grow and a reason to act on them. This is the man who would kill Evans if he had the chance, who would have killed you, who laughs at our telling him he's wrong. He _wants_ you to think it could be your fault. Because then you won't fight him, and he'll have won. Do you really want that? Can you really blame yourself when he's out there?"

She was silent, her large eyes slowly overflowing with tears. He hadn't meant to make her cry. Panic, yes, cringe, yes, anything but the large tears that soaked her cheeks. Gasping, he wrapped his arms around her tightly, soothing her as he kissed her gently, lovingly. Forgetting to be shocked by the fact that he had actually kissed Mira Celaeno, rather than the playful peck on the lips he had done countless times before, he felt her shake her head into his robes. Swallowing, he looked at her and said, "I need more coffee. I'm going to pass out if I don't get something to keep me awake. And tea won't work. Not enough caffeine. James is the only one of us really awake, to be honest. We couldn't sleep, we were too busy worrying about you. And your mum looks like she hasn't slept in ages."

Looking up, tears still on her cheeks, there was a new fire in her eyes. "Go back to the Potter's, Sirius. All of you. Go, sleep, and I don't want to see you until I come there."

"I'm not leaving you by yourself."

"Then leave Potter. Mum is going home. I heard Fabian tell Gideon he was going to drag her out if she didn't leave of her own free will. They already dragged Dad home. I'll come as soon as I'm ready."

"You're the one who made me promise not to leave."

Aware of his personal interest to stay, she smiled and reached up to kiss him deeply. "Remus should be the one objecting, not you."

Knowing what she was implying, Sirius glared at her, softening as she kissed him again, his face in her hands. "I love you. I love Remus. I love Alice. I love Lily. I love my family. And I am telling you that I will not leave any of you yet. But I need my space; I need to get past what has happened _on my own_. For my sake, if not for your own, take everyone and leave. If you can't bear that much, James may stay. I will come to you when I am ready, no sooner. You will see me again, soon; I promise you that. But not yet, you have to understand that."

Pressing his lips to her forehead briefly, he smiled sadly. "You're strong, Mira. I love you, and they all love you too. Just stay strong for us."

She stroked his cheek, watching as he turned back to them with tears in his eyes, grasping Remus by the arm and touching Lily's shoulder gently. As he walked out the door, Remus looked over his shoulder and caught her gaze, the burning intensity in her dark eyes as she watched him. His eyes stayed on her as her mother bent to press a tender kiss to her burning forehead, and it was no longer the eye of a lover with which he watched her. Swallowing, James shifted uncertainly, acutely aware of the fact he was the only one left with Mira Celaeno. "I don't really know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. You're here because of Sirius, remember?"

Stunned by the ice she had withheld for him, he dropped into a chair. She had been his uncle's step-daughter for what, fourteen years? And still he was held at such distance. "No I'm not."

Eyebrow lifting, she watched him warily, expecting another attack like the one she had received earlier. Jaw tightening, James ran a hand through his already-messy hair, "Look, I know I haven't been the best cousin and all, but –"

"_You're not my cousin_, remember?"

He recognized his own words with a wince. Eyes flashing, he looked at her levelly. "I'm trying to apologize! I'm not good at it anyway and you're not making it any easier!"

"Do you think you deserve my help?"

Wincing again, he looked at her. She was beautiful, Remus and Sirius had not been wrong about that. As he shook his head he watched her, the deep gaze of her dark eyes, the smooth contour of her pale skin, soft face, elegant curve into her neck and shoulders, dark hair shorter than he ever remembered, but still filled with a shining, lively beauty. He sighed heavily. "I've been a prat. Alright, I said it. To you and to a bunch of other people. I'm not sorry about a lot of it. But I am sorry that I treated you the way I did. I should've known better, even if I was a stupid prick. After all, I was okay with Sirius _and_ Remus, right? You've been my cousin all along, even if not by blood, I was just too self-absorbed to accept that. But I never would've wished this upon you."

"I never said you would have."

Sighing again, he felt a wave of relief as she met his gaze, allowing him to continue. "Yesterday was the first time I saw Sirius since you got here. He'd locked himself up. I asked him if it was worth it, all that he'd gone through for you, and he nearly killed me. I'd never been afraid of my best mate before. I figured it had been a few rounds of the cruciatous, and since you were still altogether it couldn't have been that bad. So I made an ass out of myself because I never really made the effort to figure out what really happened. I'm not trying to make excuses, especially for what I did earlier today, but I want you to know _why_ I acted like that. When I saw Sirius acting more mature than I ever had, it hurt. He'd known you outside of Hogwarts for three weeks while I've known you for fourteen years, and _he_ was acting more like a family member to you than I ever have. If you hadn't accepted my apology he'd have killed me."

"No he wouldn't have."

"You didn't see the look on his face. That's the second time in twenty four hours that I've nearly lost my best-mate because I've been an ass. You don't deserve that. I get what Lily means when she calls me a bullying toerag," he smiled there slightly. "I know I can't take back what I did. But do you think, maybe, you could be the bigger person one more time and give me another chance?"

"How many times have I had to do that for you?"

"Too many. And if I didn't really want it, and if I hadn't realized what it would do to me, forget Sirius and Lily and the others, if anything happened to you, I wouldn't be asking. That sounded a lot better in my head."

"No," she said softly, "I understood. What would it do to you?"

Pressing his forehead into her hand, he shook his head. "When Sirius came back in and you were lying here, and you couldn't say you didn't think this was your fault. I thought my world had collapsed. It was like Lily failing something. It couldn't happen. You destroyed my world. And I got to see yours, what it's like right now. And I can't stand it. I don't know how you can. I _can't_ live with myself knowing that you're in here and I'm living my life as though none of it matters. I _can't_ do that, I just can't. I know you don't need my help, especially with Sirius, Remus, Lily, Alice, and your mum and my uncle here to help you. But let me help you, because I need to. I need to feel like I've done something to make up for it. You said I didn't make you feel disgusting. It's because I look at you and I'm disgusted with myself."

His face went down into the sheet beside her and he felt her fingers run through his hair. She was quiet for a long time and he hardly dared to breathe. Finally Cela's voice came, soft and gentle. "You're a seventeen year old boy. And you're a Marauder. I wouldn't have expected differently from you. What will Lily and I complain about now, now that all the Marauders have grown up? We'll have to find new prats to bemoan."

Celaeno felt the breath leave her lungs, not from fear but from James's arms wrapping around her. "James, air," she gasped, smiling as he jumped away and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm guessing you'll want me to go now too?"

Pulling him back into the chair, she shook her head softly. "No, no. It's nice, to have someone who isn't worried about me. Just stay. You have fourteen years of being a cousin to make up."

"I will. I swear I will."

James grasped her hand tightly, kissing it and resting his head against the soft mattress. Smiling, she squeezed it gently and murmured, leaning back and closing her eyes, "I know James. I believe you."


	6. The Return

Sirius jumped to his feet and looked expectantly at Elizabeth Potter. "Sit down, Sirius," the pretty woman snapped. "She got here late last night. Really late."

"Why'd she come by late?"

Looking at Alice, Elizabeth Potter smiled sadly, "Her father came by her house, to _make sure she was okay_. Sneaky bastard. Andrew's tried to pin the thing on him, but it just isn't possible. They covered their tracks too damn well. Anyway, her mother popped in, just as Andrew and I were getting ready to go to bed. Andrew went and brought her over, just as James came down for a drink of water. I took her trunk up to the room, and by the time I came back Andrew said she and James had already headed upstairs. My guess would be around James' room, because I didn't see them on my way."

"Where _is_ Mr. Potter?"

"At the Ministry. He might have gotten to Cela's parents, if he got off like he wanted to. There's definitely a lot to be done right now, so I don't know how that's going to work. You know what? I don't want those two to throw off their sleep schedules, so go on and find them. Bring them down here, I've got breakfast ready."

Remus and Sirius began salivating at the thought of Mrs. Potter's food and they kissed her happily, grabbing Alice and Lily and yanking them out of the kitchen. "James? He and Cela didn't get along."

"No kidding, Evans," Sirius said sarcastically. "We know they don't. At all. But if Prongs took her off last night, we find him and he'll tell us where Mira is. Still works."

Remus nodded, winking at Lily. "And they may not get along, but James would never hurt her. Especially not now."

"True," Lily mused, quieting as Sirius held a finger to his lips.

They opened the door slowly, and all four teenagers blinked in shock as they saw Mira Celaeno, curled up in James' arms as she slept deeply. Opening one eye wearily, James glared at them and slurred, "Go 'way. I sleeping."

Lily giggled, feeling her heart swell as James tightened his grip on Celaeno. "Oi, Prongs. Your mum sent us to wake you up. She doesn't want you being a lazy arse."

"Sirius!" Lily whispered in shock, unable to repress a grin as he winked at her in response.

Moving his lips to Celaeno's ear, James muttered groggily, "Cela, they want us to wake up."

"Bloody hell," she replied, blinking. "Don't want to. Make 'em go away, James."

Looking up at them smugly, James slurred, "You 'eard 'er. Go 'way."

Sitting on the bed, Sirius grinned even wider. "I thought you didn't like James, Mira."

"Better than you, stupid oaf. It's _early_."

She squinted up at him, unaccustomed to the bright daylight. "It's after eleven, Mira. And it can't be that early, if Remus and I are both up."

"Eleven?"

"Eleven twenty-four," Lily said, checking her watch.

Sitting upright with a jolt, Mira Celaeno poked James, "James, get up! Wake up, James."

Sirius laughed, watching her carefully. The four were waiting for the duo's animosity to resurface, and they were shocked as James grabbed her and pulled her back down beside him. "Don't want to. You're a good pillow. Sleep here more often."

"Didn't you hear your mum last night? I'm staying with you until we go back to Hogwarts."

Now it was James's turn to sit upright. "Really?"

Cela nodded and James whooped loudly, swinging her up and kissing her lightly, brushing a hand through her short hair. "That's perfect! You still look funny, though."

"Last night wasn't exactly easy."

It seemed James knew exactly what had happened, for his eyes darkened momentarily before he wrapped an arm around her waist, "Come on, let's get you downstairs. I heard something about breakfast. And Mum can get you a pepper-up potion or the like."

"I'm fine James. Nothing happened. I don't need –"

"But you'll get it anyway. Alright?"

Rolling her eyes, she reached out and grasped Lily's hand tightly. Though she hadn't spoken to them yet, they all understood the look in her eyes. She didn't want to talk about it. Not now, and possibly not ever again. She looked healed though, the burns gone, the cuts almost fully healed, but her hair was still boyishly short and her comfort zone was substantially larger than it had once been. "Sit," James said shortly, pushing her lightly into a chair and tossing himself into another one. "Morning Mum. What's for breakfast?"

"Good morning darling. Did you sleep well? Here, Cela darling, this'll make you feel better. You look a little under the weather."

James shot her a look that clearly said _I told you so_, and he laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. Placing a large stack of pancakes, steaming and accompanied with warm syrup, Elizabeth Potter became subject to six salivating 'thank you's'. "Told you Mum would make something good today."

As Mira Celaeno stuck her tongue out again, Elizabeth Potter couldn't help but laugh as James reached out and grabbed it. Wagging his other hand at her disapprovingly, he said firmly, "Now, now, Celaeno. What have you been taught about sticking your tongue out? Especially at the breakfast table! What would your mother say? Now, say sorry and I'll give you your tongue back."

With an expression of childish innocence, Celaeno looked utterly distraught and James yelped in pain and surprise as she bit him soundly. "Ow! That hurt! Bloody hell Cela, that's my hand!"

"Language, James Potter," his mother warned with a cuff on the back of the head.

Alternating between rubbing his head and his hand, he glared at Cela as she smiled. "That's why you don't grab people's _tongues_, James. That's disgusting. How do you know where my tongue's been?"

"Ew, Cela, bad images. I'm trying to eat!"

Cela laughed, her laugh tinkling the way they had been waiting to hear. Winking at Remus, she watched James pretend to throw up over the edge of the chair. "My God, Potter! Can you never be serious?"

James looked up in shock, laughing as he realized that Lily was teasing him. And they all laughed as Sirius slung an arm around her shoulders, winking at her suggestively, "Now, now, Lily bird. I'm Sirius, remember. We all know you secretly want me, but Prongs does the best he can to emulate holiness."

Snorting into her drink, Celaeno sputtered and looked at him incredulously. "You? Holy? And come on now, Sirius. Lily may be pretty near-sighted sometimes, but she's not blind enough to want you."

They all laughed at this one, even Sirius. "Be nice to Padfoot," James warned as his laughter subsided.

"Oh, Sirius knows I love him," Cela said idly, reaching up toward Sirius. Grinning, he swept down and kissed her lightly, laughing as she looked at James pointedly. "See, he knows."

"Mira loves me. I'm her favourite, after all!"

"Just like a big brother," she purred, leaning onto Sirius's shoulder and sighing as he placed the goblet of pepper-up potion before her firmly. "Even when he's being bossy. Fine, just because you're making me."

Sirius smiled in relief, his frame more relaxed than it had been in over two weeks, and he watched with a smile as James shoved a plate of pancakes toward Mira Celaeno. Making a face at him, they ate, talking and laughing, and there were no questions as Elizabeth Potter picked up their plates and said, "Cela, sweetheart, will you and James help me with the dishes?"

Celaeno looked up and nodded, "Yes Aunt Eli. James, stop making faces at me."

Though James had looked disgusted at having to help, he agreed without difficulty. They all knew Miss Eli wanted to talk to them about the night before. Standing outside the door, they watched Elizabeth Potter move gracefully about the kitchen. "So where did you end up last night, Cela?"

"She was in my room, Mum."

"And where were you?"

"In my room."

Looking back at her son sharply, Eli dropped the plates in the sink with a crash. Cela winced, eyes widening, and Eli and James both turned to her quickly, breathing a sigh of relief as she smiled. "I'm okay. Go back to giving James a dirty look Aunt Eli."

Laughing as she reached out and hugged Celaeno tightly, she sent the girl to the sink, looking at James and hissing, "James Potter, I don't know what you think you're doing, but –"

"Mum! It wasn't anything like that! She's my cousin, dear Merlin!"

James' voice was low and shocked, staring at his mother in horror. She seemed unmoved, "Wouldn't be the first time it's happened in the wizarding world. And you two are no more related than she and Sirius."

"Mum, I'd never be able to do anything with someone who calls you 'aunt', no matter what."

"I'm not yelling at you about _that_," Elizabeth Potter sighed in exasperation. "Just that she's still weak, I don't want to see her get hurt, emotionally or physically, to satisfy some teenager's momentary urges."

"I think Sirius and Remus would kill anyone who attempted it, even if it was me."

"Not if Cela asked them not to. James, I trust you, you know that. But _be careful_, she isn't as strong as she once was. I know this taught you not to underestimate her, but don't overestimate her either."

Kissing his mother, James smiled, "Yes, Mum."

"Good. Cela, James'll do the rest of them, if you could just put these away, I'm going to go see if Tinsel's doing laundry."

James took the sponge from Celaeno, stopping as she looked up at him carefully. She really was beautiful, undeniably the most stunning woman _he_ had ever seen. He swallowed as she tilted her face up to his and kissed him gently. "Don't tell Lily what Aunt Eli said. She might get jealous."

Laughing, James remembered why this girl was always going to be a cousin to him. Grabbing her by the waist, he kissed her deeply and tossed her back onto her feet, "The day Lily gets jealous of anyone because of me is the day I dance on the moon. I thought Mum was being stealthy about that."

"She was. I just figured she would be on you about that, and it's easy to figure out what's being said if you know what they're talking about."

James nodded, for that was certainly true. Leaning back against the counter, watching her close his refrigerator, he grinned. "So what do you plan on doing today?"

"Don't even try, James. I told you, I refuse to talk to you about it. If you want to know so badly, trick it out of Sirius. I'm saying nothing."

"It isn't good to hold it in, you know."

"A psychologist now, are we? I didn't know the Potters took on muggle professions. I'll talk to Sirius when the time's right. Not you. So back off."

Raising his eyebrows and pushing himself off the counter, he blew into her ear and laughed as she jerked away from him, "Yes, ma'am, sergeant! You done?"

"Um-hmm," she nodded and grinned at him, dancing out and grasping Sirius by the hands. "Come on, silly, it's a beautiful day!"

"Did she just say there was a beautiful day? In _England_? Good Merlin, we _should_ be outside!"

Celaeno laughed, letting her fingers lace in Remus's and letting herself be pulled into the vast expanse of the Potter's yard.

– 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 –

"Where's Cela?"

"With Moony," Sirius said with a stretch, leaning back. "They're talking about something while Miss Eli checks her out. She needs nightly checks until she gets back to Hogwarts, just to make sure everything's okay."

James laughed, "She's fine. What're she and Moony talking about?"

Alice looked at Sirius archly, voice carrying a decidedly worried ring, "I thought Remus still cared about her."

"He does," Sirius assured, "but things changed. She doesn't need that kind of thing right now, and she's not a romantic object for him anymore. Too much between them for that, they'll agree there. Maybe in a few years, hopefully, they'll go back together."

Lily sighed, resting her head on the large side of her chair. "He deserves someone good."

"And Cela's just his type," James added with a grin.

"Wait a sec, Prongs," Sirius said, frowning slightly. "What happened last night?"

Sighing and shrugging as he looked at his best friend, James replied, "Not really too sure. Her dad showed up, you lot know that, and I know he pointed out that as her biological father and her mum's first husband he has every right to show up in that house with or without warning. There was big fight, and my uncle was taking a night shift last night so he wasn't there to get rid of Venatici. She wouldn't say, and she didn't talk about it after I asked, but I think he used the cruciatous on her. Just the sight of the bastard would've been enough to scare her; she looked more scared than anything when she got here. She's okay though, and that's what matters."

"How'd you two –? I mean, everyone knows you don't get along."

James ginned at Lily and winked. "Nobody can resist the Potter charm forever, Lils. Just kidding. Try spending _days_ with someone and not being able to do _anything_ but talk. You resolve a few differences. And she _is_ my cousin. She looked scared, and I didn't want her staying by herself. I was going to come wake one of you up, but she started off toward her room. She wouldn't have me wake any of you, so I told her to stay with me. Glad I did, she all but cried herself to sleep."

Sirius's jaw was tight. James didn't deserve her devotion, though she deserved James's, and he softened as James shrugged helplessly. Mira Celaeno had been right in one thing, they _were_ only teenage boys. Remus came in, sitting and grinning, laughing as Lily demanded, leaning over the edge of her chair, "What happened? What's going on with you and Cela?"

"Nothing," Remus said, complete honesty over his features. "Not now, and probably not ever. Would have been, if not for what happened. But it did happen and I couldn't do it to her and she wouldn't want it if I could."

"Is it because she was raped?"

"No!" Remus's face was shocked, horror glittering on his features as he stared. "Bloody hell, that's the farthest thing from my mind! She deserves better. And now she needs comfort, not a relationship. And I need to see her better, not as my girlfriend. It was mutual, so there's no difficulty Sirius, don't worry about her. Here she comes, she said she didn't want Miss Eli to worry about her."

Slamming the door shut, Celaeno heaved a sigh of relief. "I love Aunt Eli, but she's a _tyrant_. Even the nurses at St. Mungo's were more relaxed about things!"

"Come here, Cela," James purred, pulling her onto his lap and running his fingers through her short hair. "She's just worried about you. And she can be over the top."

"I missed your house. I've always loved it here."

"I know. You stayed longer than I ever wanted you to."

Laughing, Cela reached out for Sirius and shifted herself to his side. "Yes, doll. I did. Aunt Eli said she wants us all in bed early. We're going to Diagon Alley tomorrow, and she said if we're not in our rooms in ten minutes she's not feeding us anything."

"What?"

Remus laughed at Sirius' yelp, kissing Cela idly as he stood, "Then we'll listen to Miss Eli. Night Cela."

"Night Remus. Oh, Lily, you're such a darling! I've missed you!"

Lily's face shone as she hugged Cela, shooing Alice, Remus, and James off as she sat beside her friend. "I didn't know whether to be hurt or worried when you got rid of us."

"I know. I'm sorry, Lily. I really am. But not now, not yet, I'm not ready to talk about it. Really, though, I'm genuinely _thrilled_ that you're here. Tell me though, how'd you not kill James?"

Smiling, Lily squeezed her best friend's hand, "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow night. Black wants to talk to you and he's ready to kill me if I don't leave. Night."

Blowing a loud kiss toward Lily, Cela giggled, "Kisses! G'night Lily!"

Lily's laughter echoed as the door closed and Celaeno sighed. "I really did miss her. We _are_ so close, it's a shame that I haven't seen her in so long!"

"You look better."

"I _am_ better," she reassured fondly. "Oh, Sirius, have you lot decided I'm never to be alone?"

Sirius grinned sheepishly. She knew him much too well. "Well Lily and I decided that you staying by yourself would be inexcusable. So, at least for tonight and tomorrow, you're stuck with us."

"Aunt Eli will –"

"Miss Eli knows, and she said it was okay as long as I was careful with you. She's seems paranoid that we boys can't handle your beauty. I told her _you'd_ be throwing yourself at _me_ if anything."

Celaeno laughed. Even paranoia couldn't keep Sirius' innate good humour from emerging. "Oh, Sirius, I love you!"

Leaning over and kissing her lightly, Sirius smiled, "Love you too, Mira. Moony asked me when I started kissing you. I told him always and that he'd only been a plaything to throw suspicion off of me and you."

Her laughter bubbled out and she shook her head, "You're _awful_! What did he say?"

"That it explained why I got so ticked about him kissing you. He's a smart-mouthed prat when he wants to be."

"He's a Marauder."

Sirius laughed, long and deep, his first real laugh since he had arrived at the Potter's with Mira Celaeno. Hugging her fiercely, he let his laughter die into chuckles, "Merlin, Mira, you're a gem. That he is, thank Merlin. Our pranks wouldn't be half as good if he wasn't!"

"You and your pranks," she said with a sigh, shaking her head.

"You say it like it's bad thing! Mira, my love, do you really think our pranks are less than fabulous?"

He looked at her with big puppy eyes, the dark gaze lit with humour and filled with pleading devotion. Unable to resist the pathetic energy of his stare, she flung her arms around him and giggled. "Oh, Sirius, I love you darling! This year is going be divine, isn't it? Everything's going to be wonderful." Her sentence mellowed into a slurred purr and she leaned against him, yawning softly, "I'm so tired, Sirius. It's been such a long two days."

Stroking her hair, he smiled blithely, "Then sleep. It's late anyway."

"Do stay, will you? I've wanted to stay with you, but I didn't want you to have to see me like that. I've missed you, Sirius. Won't you say that we never have to part again? I know it's childish, but I'm so used to you now. You and Remus and James, I need you as much Lily and Alice. You're my family now, I can't bear to be away from you."

Smiling at the innocent chatter of the sweet, half-asleep young woman, Sirius pressed a kiss to her hair, "I'm not going anywhere, Mira. I left _that_ family for you. I don't plan on leaving you, or any of them, ever again."

"Good," she purred, turning into his body and resting her head against his shoulder as she drifted off into slumber. Nuzzling his shoulder as she floated away, she added gently, "Mmm, you're such a good brother Sirius. I missed you."

"I missed you too," he murmured in reply, stroking her hair again and smiling at Elizabeth Potter as the door opened slightly. One arm fast around Mira Celaeno's sleeping form, he whispered, "She's asleep, Miss Eli. I've got her."

Stepping forward and kissing Celaeno's forehead gently, Elizabeth pressed a kiss to Sirius' forehead as well, stroking his dark hair and smiling, "I know, darling. You sleep too. Good night."

– 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 –

A blithe smile graced his handsome features as she dashed over to him, dropping to his side and nuzzling into his arms. "Oh, Sirius, I couldn't bear to leave you by yourself over here. With Alice off visiting Frank and Lily spending the weekend with her parents, even James and Remus aren't the same. I do love them, dearly, but I could never leave you to sit by yourself. You won't come out with us, will you?"

"No, Mira. I'm not feeling up to that right now, so I'm happy just watching."

"Then I'll stay with you. You don't mind, do you? If you mind I'll go, I'd rather not bother you."

Chuckling, Sirius shook his head, "I don't mind. Stay, it's nice. My baby sister's been spending a lot of time away from me lately."

"You _are_ my most favourite, you know. My very own darling. I'm positively devoted to you, you know. I love Remus desperately, he's very like Lily now, and I love James passionately, to make up for all the years lost, but you're different. I don't just love you. I'm like a little cocker spaniel. You couldn't do anything to keep me from being so absolutely stuck on you. What ever are you going to do when I fall in love with another man?"

She had returned to her childish ways, in part because she was safe and in part to hide her effort to move past earlier events. This sweet, ceaseless prattle had once aggravated him, and now it was only endearing. Pressing a kiss to her dark hair, hot after being beneath the sun, he smiled. "I can forgive Moony for taking you from my favour."

"Oh, silly Sirius," she said, shaking her head. "I _won't_ fall for Remus again. I do love him, but the time for that has passed. I'm positively _bursting_ with love for you, James, and Remus, and the man I love can't have already possessed such a fire within me. I would explode from the sheer magnitude of it. I'm using an awful lot of big words, aren't I?"

Nodding, Sirius laughed as she wrinkled her nose. "Do talk, Sirius. I feel so cumbersome doing all the talking, not that it's difficult for me. But talk Sirius, darling, I love it when you talk."

"What do you want me to talk about, Mira? We're sitting here, it's a gorgeous, sunny day, Prongs and Moony are playing quidditch, Alice and Lily are away, and we're sitting under the shade of one of the many big trees in James's yard. You must be starved for love though, with all your talk of how much you love us. It's an obsession with you now, I think, what with how fixated you've been on it the past few days. But you look well-rested, I'm glad. You got a good sleep last night, Prongs assured me of that much. I'm glad you didn't let him convince you to stay up late to talk."

"I wanted to, but I couldn't. My eyes wouldn't stay open last night, not even if I had been able to prop them up. And maybe it is an obsession of mine. It's so new to me though, loving you three so much. Lily and Alice have been there forever, it seems, but you're all so novel. Do you really think I'm starved for love though? I thought I was overflowing, knowing how much I'm cared for."

Sirius could do nothing but smile there, for she was right. "I think you need that love now. Maybe starved wasn't a good word. But hungry fits. Overflowing or not, you're certainly guilty of gluttony as far as love goes."

"I'm making up for you."

"What?!"

Her eyes had dropped the cheerful glint and Sirius knew they had treaded into serious conversation, no pun intended. "Physically I am almost well. Mentally I am willing to try to get better. I'm taking everything I can so that this," she motioned to herself, at the girl who had been cheerful and innocent only moments earlier, "so that this isn't an act. I don't _want_ to be miserable, especially when I've so much to be grateful for. Knowing how much you, and James, and Remus, and Alice, and Lily, and Mum, and Aunt Eli, and Uncle Andrew, and Daddy care for me, that's what's giving me strength. I can get past this. I can forget that this ever happened. Well, maybe not forget, but I can discard all of the effects. I can move on as though it was only a game in my memory. Because I'm feeding on, I'm _inhaling_ the love that I'm being given. You, Sirius, are as miserable as I'm trying not to be."

"I'm not miserable!" Sirius cried vehemently, sitting up straight. "You're the one who's waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and pale! You're the one who can hardly sleep alone because you're terrified of being alone after your nightmares! It's your face that's still white, your eyes that are still haunted, and your soul that's still being tortured. Pretend all you want Mira, I can see that you're sucking at us because you're afraid that if you stop we'll go away. It's you who can't trust us, or yourself, enough to realize that you're safe now and that it's okay to move on. If _anything_ bothers me, it's that. It's that you, sweet, beautiful Mira, are haunted by something that will never happen again. I want to see you get _better_, is that so hard?"

Taking his face into her hands, her chocolate eyes probed his carved features and mahogany gaze. "I am afraid. I am not better yet. I am still recovering, and I will be probably for months yet. But it is _not_ haunting me. It is _not_ torturing me. And it is _never_ going to keep me from trying to move on. I want to be happy again, and I will do everything I can to make sure it happens, gluttonous or not. You though, Sirius, you're trying to do the wrong thing. Don't worry about me, it won't do any good. You're trying to take my burden onto yourself, and that's torture for _you_, torture I don't want you to go through. It was your torture as much as mine this summer. My scars will be physical, a few emotional, but your scars are much harder to treat. I may be afraid after a nightmare, but you're the one beating yourself over the possibility of my fear. I will be well much faster if I don't have to worry about the man I love most. Especially when I know his anguish is for my sake."

Kissing her gently, he pressed his face into her neck. "You're a goddess, Mira. I really do love you. I'll try. For your sake, I'll try. I just want you to be well again. I just want to hear you laugh and to hear you _mean_ it. I don't want it to be fake for you."

"It will be real as soon as your laughter is real."

"I thought brothers were supposed to look after their sisters, Mira. So why is it that you're looking after me?"

"You already had your turn. I'm just repaying the favour, brother."

Letting her rest her head on his shoulder, he smiled and ruffled her hair. His smile was genuine and he let his eyes roam toward where Remus and James flew happily over their heads. "You already have."

– 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 –

James stroked her hair, watching where she rested against his shoulder. "You're tired, Cela."

"Mm-hmm, but I don't want to go to bed yet."

"Silly Cela. Go to bed."

"Jem," she looked up at him, using the pet name she had derived for him as children, long before animosity had ever set in. "I like sitting here with you. It's comfortable."

He smiled at her. "I thought you said Sirius was comfortable. And our beds are comfortable too."

It was late, and late nights tended to weaken her resolve. Still, she curled into him and moaned softly, "Jem, don't. I don't want to go. I feel safe here."

She had said it. All it took to push James, Remus, and Sirius into overdrive was Celaeno's safety, and she had done it without ever realizing it. Gathering her into his arms, sitting her on his lap as he rocked her gently, James crooned like a father to a restless child, "Hush now, Cela. You're safe, I've got you. Just close your eyes, everything will be okay."

There was fatigue glittering in her chocolate eyes and Celaeno's voice was like cream, "But James, you're tired too. And this position can't be comfortable. Sleep, please."

Sighing, James wondered if she would ever stop being so utterly selfless. It irritated him, much as he had fallen in love with her. Not like Lily, but it was enough. She was _his_ Mira Celaeno as much as she was Sirius', and he could even claim seniority against the depth of Sirius's bond to sweet Cela. Yawning as he laid down beside her, he wrapped her in his arms and let her head rest against his chest. She was right, again, and he was immensely more comfortable; comfortable enough that he began drifting off the moment he put his head down. "You're annoying when you're right."

Too tired to notice Lily and Sirius peering into the room, Celaeno giggled as his nose touched hers. Lily and Sirius hadn't heard James's whisper, though they had seen him speak and heard Celaeno's soft laughter. "Stoppit, James. G'night."

Rolling over slightly, pinning her beneath half of his long, lanky body, James slurred tiredly, his voice the last thing either of them heard before drifting away, "Night love."

Sirius grinned, knowing that James valued the girl immensely, and pulled Lily out. "I didn't think they were so tired. Oi, Evans, what's wrong?"

The pained expression on Lily's face pushed him into old habits. "He loves her an awful lot, doesn't he?"

"He's good at the family thing, what can I say?"

"She isn't his family. She's related to him through her _step_ dad. That's called convenience."

Realization dawning on Sirius, he grinned impishly, "Oooh. Little Lily flower's got a crush on Jamesie-poo."

"Does he ever hear you call him that?"

"Only when he's drunk or too tired to jump me for it. And you know you didn't deny it," Sirius said cheerfully, watching Lily's face fall in realization of her mistake.

"I didn't want to!"

"He never wanted to fall for you either, Lily. He did, though, and the fact that he and Mira are acting like cousins again won't stop that."

Raising an eyebrow, Lily demanded carefully, "I've never been that comfortable with _any_ of my cousins."

"It's Mira," Sirius said with a shrug. The girl had always revelled in good embraces. "And she needs that kind of closeness now. They still bicker, almost as bad as you two, you've heard them. Don't worry about Prongs, I swear. His thing for you isn't going to go away anytime soon!"

Lily swallowed and sat back, smiling at Remus as she and Sirius invaded his room. "Hey, Moony, guess what?" Sighing and knowing there was no way to get out of this one, Lily sat back and watched Sirius bounce onto the bed in glee. "Guess what?"

Eyes widening slightly, he looked at Lily and asked, "What did you feed him? Never give it to him again."

Laughing as Sirius pretended to be offended; Lily watched the handsome boy point to her. "Lily likes Prongs!"

"Funny, Sirius," Remus replied idly, sitting down and chuckling. "Did Cela and Prongs already go to bed? They looked exhausted."

"Yep," Sirius chirped happily. "And I'm not kidding! She didn't even deny it! And she was _jealous_."

Remus stopped, looked at Lily carefully. "Lily? Is he right?"

Shrugging helplessly, Lily avoided his severe gaze. "I don't know. Don't look at me like that! Don't tell him, please."

"Why not?" Sirius demanded roughly. "He's been waiting for this since fourth year! Why shouldn't we tell him?"

"Because it'll distract him. We need to help Cela. If he's really been waiting for so long, he can wait a little longer to help her. I'm more concerned about her than about my love life, Sirius, you should be too."

Sirius stopped, he hadn't thought of it that way. As usual, Lily was right, and he knew Celaeno needed all the attention she could get. Leaning forward, he kissed Lily's cheek gently and grinned, "Mira's lucky to have a friend like you."

Lily blushed, both because Sirius had kissed her and because his compliment was so genuine she didn't know what to say. "I'm lucky to have Mira."

Sirius nodded there, accepting her comment, but his gaze had softened toward her and Lily suddenly understood why Mira Celaeno felt so safe with him. Seeing her discomfort, he guided the conversation, taking it deliberately away from James and Celaeno, and when they left to go to bed, he linked his arm in hers and said, "I used to make fun of Prongs for liking you. Now I see why he would."

Smiling softly, Lily looked up at him and asked, "So you won't tell him? Not yet, at least. When Cela's better –"

"Of course not. Don't worry about it, for all he knows this is just a façade to help Mira. Well, he's smarter than that, but you know what I mean." She did, and she laughed as he continued, "Anyway, you look exhausted. So go to bed, and I'll see you tomorrow."

She stiffened in surprise for a moment as he hugged her, holding her tightly. So Sirius Black wasn't such a womanizer, Lily mused, for his grip reminded her of her father. Sighing, she reached up and kissed his cheek, laughing as he made a face at her, and as she opened the door she froze. In the darkness, a small figure stood, looking helpless and lost, and she moved like lightening. Following her, Sirius swore as Lily grasped Celaeno tightly, asking gently, "Cela, what happened? Why didn't you stay with James?"

"I don't want to!" she cried, looking quite childish as her eyes searched for Sirius. "He doesn't _know_. Oh, Lily."

The pretty young woman broke down, sobbing softly into her best friend's shoulder. Good at comfort, Lily stroked her hair gently and waited for the girl's tears to subside. Moving in, Sirius motioned for her to go to her room, the laughter gone from his handsome face, and he tilted Celaeno's face to meet his. "Are you okay?"

"I think so."

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Shuddering, she shrugged helplessly and he swore again, wrapping her in his arms and lifting her idly, "Come on, you'll stay with me tonight. It's okay, Mira, everything's okay."

Sighing, Lily closed her door, wishing there was more she could do. Both for her sake and for Cela's. Laying the petite girl on his bed, Sirius kissed her forehead and said gently, "Wait here, I need to get ready."

He watched as she curled up into the foetal position, a little ball on his bed. When he returned, complete with his plaid pyjamas, he stroked her hair and felt her turn into his arms. He hated seeing her like this, though he loved knowing she got comfort from his presence. Burrowing into his arms, she let her eyelids droop as his arms fastened tightly around her. In his presence, like this, she was safe. She always would be. She could feel the brotherly affection from him, his love that had rooted as deeply and as quickly as hers, and she revelled in it. Feeling his arms relax, his breath steady, and his dark eyes cloud with contentment, she knew he was drinking in her adoration as she had been drinking his. Smiling, she rested her head against his chest and felt true sleep envelop her. For the first time in weeks, her sleep was deep and peaceful, because the man who cared about her most was finally happy.

– 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 – 06 –

James woke up with a start, groping for the body that had been beside him when he had fallen asleep. Sitting up, he looked groggily around his room and frowned as he saw Celaeno's slippers still on the side of his bed. If she had woken up early, she wouldn't have left them there. Worry swamping him, he stood and ran across the hall, knocking on Lily's door and going in. Blinking, she looked up at him and sat up. Swallowing as she reached up to smooth her tousled red hair, James brushed back the feeling in his gut and asked, "Have you seen Cela?"

"Morning to you too," Lily yawned, nodding as she covered her mouth. "Last night when Sirius and I were heading to bed. She had a nightmare or something, and Sirius took her. They're probably still asleep."

Breathing a sigh of relief, James forgot that he was supposed to act like a friend to Lily. Reaching down, he kissed her lightly and beamed, "Thanks Lily flower. Get dressed and I'll be back."

Blushing as she watched him leave, she threw on her robe and followed him into Sirius' room. She smiled as she saw Sirius, wrapped around Celaeno, his long limbs draped over the curled up figure. Looking groggily at James, the boy winked, poking Cela and nudging her. James laughed as Mira Celaeno made a small noise, turning into Sirius' chest. Tilting his head back, Sirius looked at where her face disappeared into his chest, and laughed. "Morning sunshine."

A mildly incoherent mutter came forth from his pyjamas and he laughed again, ruffling her hair. Hand going up to smooth her hair and swat his hand, she slurred, "Sirius. Leave me alone."

Laughing again, Sirius moved to get out of bed and leave her alone. Chuckling as she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back down, he asked gently, "I thought you said to leave you alone."

"Mmm," she replied, nestling into his arms.

"I thought you were a morning person Mira," he teased, brushing her hair out of her face.

"You're a good pillow," Mira Celaeno said, wrapping her arms around his waist and turning to look at Lily. "Morning Lily. Jem, you're here too. Where's Remus? We can have a party."

"In my bed?"

She giggled, tilting her head up and kissing him lightly. She had aimed for his cheek, but as he laughed her lips hit his neck, sending a jolt through them both. Looking sharply at each other, they did something that would push them both back years. Laughing, Sirius began to tickle her, her laughter echoing in the room as he jumped out of the bed after her. Chasing her around, he ignored Lily and James's exasperated looks as he grabbed Celaeno and tickled her. The flash of attraction was gone, or at least pushed out of the way, and both Mira Celaeno and Sirius would forget it had ever existed.


	7. Growing Up

"Sweet!"

Looking over at the dark-haired girl, Sirius Black frowned and asked, "What?"

"Jem and Lily are Head Boy and Girl together this year. They'll get to spend all this time, just the two of them. I mean, they're bound to get together this year. Right?"

Sirius smiled, leaning back and replying idly, "You've been spending too much time with the Marauders, Mira, you're starting to think like us."

"I'm James's cousin," she pointed out, extending a hand to Remus as he entered the compartment. "They've always been a good match for each other. Where in the name of Merlin is Alice?"

"Saying bye to Frank out on the platform."

Rolling her eyes, she sat back huffily and looked up at Remus, pulling him down beside her and lying down in his lap. "Do they not understand that we have the rest of our lives to play mush?"

"What do you have against relationships, Cela? You never had a problem with Sirius liking every woman that moves."

"Other than me, Lily, and Alice," Celaeno pointed out lightly, laughing as Sirius snorted. "I don't have a problem with Sirius because he _every_ woman that moves, not particular woman that he dotes until everyone else gets sick."

"Does this have anything to do with your obvious hatred for Slughorn?"

Sirius perked up, nodding. "Yeah. You do seem to have a thing against him."

"I don't have a thing against him. I just have no respect for him."

"Wait a minute, Mira, what are your NEWTs again?"

Gaping in disbelief, Remus managed in shock, "You're kidding, right? You don't even know what her NEWTs are?"

Laughing, Celaeno reached up and stroked Remus' cheek. "You know how much Sirius hates talking about school, Remus. Don't bug him."

"He deserves it," Remus replied steadily, still staring at Sirius. "Padfoot, you're kidding, right? For all that time you two spent talking you don't even know –"

"Moony, don't get your knickers in a twist," Sirius said with a laugh. "What are they then, if it's so basic."

"Elementary, my dear Watson," Remus replied, rolling his eyes as Sirius looked at him curiously and Celaeno laughed. "Muggle thing, Padfoot. Astronomy, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Charms, and Defence Against the Dark Arts. That's it, right?"

Celaeno nodded, "Yes, sir. Dunno why I let Alice dupe me into doing NEWT Defence. I'm no good at it. And I wish I hadn't dropped Muggle Studies."

"Moony can help you with Defence," Sirius said idly, "he's wicked at it."

"So are you and Prongs," Remus pointed out. "Collectively, that's our best subject."

"Because it's bloody awesome!"

Making a face, Celaeno looked up at Remus and asked, "When will he ever grow up?"

Standing in the doorway, James took in the scene with an amused expression, Lily laughing beside him. "Padfoot, grow up? That's funny."

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

The door slammed loudly and the all three teenagers jumped. "Bloody hell Padfoot! What –?"

James stopped mid-sentence, taking in the sheer outrage on the other boy's handsome face and the slightly terrified look on Peter's. "Dammed Ravenclaw."

"What the bloody hell are you on about, Padfoot?"

Whirling on Remus, Sirius snarled angrily, "This all your bloody fault. If you hadn't been so bloody self righteous this wouldn't have happened."

Raising an eyebrow, Lily asked carefully, "What did Cela do and why it Remus's fault?"

"Not Mira! The bloody prat –"

"Sirius!" Mira Celaeno slammed the door open, looking breathless and anxious. Her hair was tousled and her face was flushed, the look in her eyes both terrified and worried. "Don't, please. It wasn't what you think!"

"Wasn't what I think?! Then what the bloody hell was it!"

Anger swamped her pretty features and she stomped her foot, hands fisting at her sides, "Why can you not accept the fact that I am perfectly capable? You are not my father, nor are you my keeper! I can do what I like, with who I like, and it's none of your concern unless I make it so!"

Realization hit Lily and she smiled, cutting in before Sirius could respond, "Oh my god, Cela. Is it – did you two – oh my god!"

Momentarily Celaeno's anger faded and she smiled, nodding happily and blushing as Lily squealed, jumping up and hugging her tightly. "That is amazing. It's about bloody time! He is divinely attractive, I'll give him that. Oh, Cela, that's fabulous! Sirius, stop being so overprotective. It's about time she gets herself out there again."

"Not that I have an option now," Cela said harshly, glaring at Sirius. "The bloody prat would've beaten him to a pulp if Peter and I hadn't stood in the way. Thank you, Peter, by the way, for helping me control this _idiot_! Do I have to do everything with your approval?"

"That guy had a hell of a lot more than that on his mind, Mira," Sirius growled. "And just so you know, he's been making eyes at the Ravenclaw prefect, what's-her-name, for two weeks. Prongs and I noticed it during Potions _ages_ ago. If you ever talked to me I'd have told you about it!"

"I know full well what he's been up to! I don't talk to you about that kind of stuff, but if you ever actually trusted me with anything you'd be able to accept the fact that I've been talking to James about just that for weeks now. If you'd kindly keep your nose _out_ of my business! My private life is not your concern!"

She turned to walk away and Sirius grabbed her arm, whirling her around and biting harshly, "None of my concern? Bull shit! You know that I have every right to know what you're doing, just like you know what I'm doing. Don't try to play that card with me, cause it won't work. Why the hell don't I deserve to know something about what you're doing? Because I'm not your cousin? Because I don't live with you? Because I don't sit and do homework with you everyday? I have as much right as anyone to know! Or does the fact that I care about you suddenly not matter?"

Tears had sprung to her eyes and she shook her head jerkily, fighting them back quite effectively. "Caring about me and trying to monitor everything I do are two different things, Sirius. There are plenty of people who can watch after me. I do not need another protector. If you paid any attention, you'd know that more than half the staff has been keeping a hawk eye on me all year. I need a friend, dammit. And you've been too self-absorbed in your compulsive need to play protector to actually do that. Even James has been more a friend, and he's the one with the hero complex!"

She did turn and walk away that time, leaving Sirius to stand there, stunned. Turning to Lily, he said softly, "I don't think you need to worry about her needing attention anymore. If you don't go for it now, when you plan on doing anything is beyond me. He deserves to know."

"You straighten up your own issues and then worry about mine."

"He's my best friend, Lily, don't tell me not to put him first. You know that's how it goes."

Frowning, James looked between the two, asking carefully, "What's going on Padfoot? Lily, what's he talking about?"

"When was the last time you asked her out, Prongs?"

Eyes widening, James turned to Lily, mouthing soundlessly before managing, "Are you saying –"

"I'm not saying anything, James. Sirius is. But the only way to do anything properly is to speak for yourself."

"So you'll go out with me?"

Laughing, Lily looked at him and tilted her head. "Why am I not surprised?"

"What?"

"You _would_ be the one not to catch on that now's the time to be romantic, not dense."

"But you will, right?"

Rolling her eyes as she smiled, she nodded and looked at Sirius gently, "I guess I may as well."

Dense as his words may have been, James Potter was not so immature as to be ungrateful. Reaching out, he touched her cheek gently, cupping her face and kissing her gently, his voice soft as he rested his forehead against hers for a moment, "Then I'm the happiest man alive."

Sirius made a face, rolling his eyes, and walked out. He saw Celaeno, standing in a corner and looking out the window. Arms wrapped tightly around herself, she sniffed slightly and stared blindly out over the Hogwarts grounds. Stepping forward as he smiled softly, he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on hers and saying softly, "I didn't mean to upset you, you know. It's hard, though, to think that someone else may know you better than I do."

"What are you going to do when I get married?"

"I thought you hated favouritism?"

"I think I'll find someone I love enough to not mind _that_ much."

"Do you love me that much?"

It was an innocent question and Celaeno melted. Turning, she leaned against the stone wall and smiled. "Of course. You're family, Sirius, as much as any blood-bound family I may have."

"Then I guess I can accept you loving someone else. Especially since you'll have loved me first."

"And I was just about to say you're growing up."

"Me, grow up? That's funny, that was the one thing I planned on never doing."

Looking up at him, she remembered the boy he had been before, and smiled at the realization that he had grown up. Maybe not entirely, but enough. And she continued to smile as he said, "And, by the way, James and Lily are now dating. I left them up there to be mushy, and I won't be surprised if Moony and Wormtail come down soon."

"Was it your doing?"

"Kind of."

She rested her head against the wall and smiled, saying gently, "You really are growing up. I'm proud of you. And I may like him, but nobody will ever replace you."

"Are you telling me to stop being overprotective about guys you snog at random?"

"Exactly."

"I guess I can do that. I think you might be right."

"What?"

"Maybe we are growing up. And maybe it isn't so bad."

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

"I'm buying myself a place."

Everyone looked up at Sirius, astonishment clear on all of their faces. "What?"

James spoke first, looking stunned. "You heard me, Prongs. I got that job that I wanted, and with the money my uncle left me I have enough to get a flat. I found a really nice one earlier this week. Mira, the one I saw with you."

"I thought you were kidding."

"Nope. I can't stay here forever, Prongs. I'm not mooching off your parents anymore, and I'm working. You'll be in training for another year, you _should_ stay at home. It's just stupid for me not to get my own place. I have to grow up sometime."

"Didn't you say you didn't want to grow up, Sirius?"

Celaeno looked at him gently, smiling as he made a face at her. "Shut it Mira. Are you staying here again tonight?"

She nodded, "My father might be heading over there again tonight. Something about Vega Merope, and I'd just rather not be there."

James nodded, understanding exactly what she was getting at. Then he looked at her, his jerky movement startling the redhead lying against his knees. Celaeno seemed to realize the same thing at the same moment, for she looked at him with wide eyes. Nodding, she turned slowly to Sirius and said softly, "That was a big place. You plan on staying there yourself?"

"I guess. I mean Prongs wants to stay here for now. And Moony won't come, he loves being at home. Same with Wormtail. Lily, wanna leave James and bunk with me?"

"In your dreams Sirius," Lily said idly, poking James to figure out why he had disturbed her and demanding to know what had caused his sudden interest in Celaeno. "James? James!"

Patting her hand distractedly, he ignored Remus's chuckle. "Where's Wormtail? And Alice?"

"She left twenty minutes ago, smart one," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "And Peter's coming down the hall."

"What about me?"

"Prongsie was just wondering about you, Wormtail," Sirius said with a grin. "And stop giving me that look Mira. I can take care of myself, you know."

"I know that." She said it quickly. Too quickly. And they all noticed.

Slowly they all turned to look at her, Sirius's eyes narrowing as he asked carefully, "What is it?"

"So you're in the market for a roommate?"

Remus stared at her, realizing what she was planning and gaped as Sirius shrugged. "Yea, I guess. Why?"

"Could I –"

"_You_!"

Protective streak flaring up, James sat up rigidly, "What's that supposed to mean? You were propositioning my girlfriend less than a minute ago, and now you can't even have a girl for a roommate?"

Flushing, Sirius shook his head, "No, I mean – Mira, why in the name of Merlin do you want to leave your house? And why would you want to stay with _me_? Your mum'll go haywire."

"But it'll keep me from ever having to see my dad again. He disowned me, remember? He'll have no right to _my_ place, he can still come at will to wherever Vega is."

Looking stunned, as were Remus and Peter, Sirius shook his head and avoided the sharp gazes of Celaeno, Lily, and James. "I'll think about it."

She understood his hesitation, his aversion from a female roommate, and her especially. Stung, she nodded and stood, turning away from him and asking, "James, want something while I'm in the kitchen?"

James shook his head, glaring at Sirius as she walked off. Frowning, Lily gasped sharply, standing and ignoring Sirius, "Oh, Cela! Don't!"

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

Sirius shifted nervously in his seat. James and Lily were still giving him the silent treatment, and Celaeno hadn't looked at him properly all day. Remus and Peter were being normal, thank Merlin, but they were supposed to be his best friends too! Not that Celaeno was any issue now, because she had just left, talking cheerfully to Miss Eli. James had followed, of course, because he never missed an opportunity to listen to his mother and cousin laugh. So now it was just Lily, who was talking to Remus happily. Remus would've let Celaeno live with him in a heartbeat. Not that he could be choosy about roommates, he wouldn't be able to afford it. Then they all froze as they heard James's shocked cry, "Uncle Max–!"

His cry was drowned out by the sharp cry from Celaeno and the furious questions from both of James's parents, "Daddy!"

Yanking her into the kitchen, not even noticing the other three, the youngest Rookwood grabbed the arm of his stepdaughter fiercely, his face pale and his eyes clouded, "I want you to stay here. I'll bring you your things as soon as I can."

"What in the name of Merlin is going on?"

It was Andrew Potter who spoke, his eyes dark as he looked at his brother-in-law. Looking at her husband reproachfully, Elizabeth Potter reached out and eased Celaeno from her brother's grasp. "Max, what's wrong?"

"What do you think?"

Sighing, Eli reached out and grasped his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Everything's fine now. I need you to keep her, Eli. I'm not having that bastard get his hands on her. He's trying to reclaim her, and it's a nasty process. She's not going back to that man, not unless she wants to."

"Daddy, is Mum okay?"

"Your mother's fine, darling," he said, softening and rubbing her arm. "I didn't mean to worry you. And Vega's fine, before you ask."

Andrew knew exactly what nasty process Maximilian Rookwood was referring to. "Who does Venatici have in mind?"

"The Malfoy brat just got engaged to the middle Black girl, or I'd say him. It's got to be McNair or one of the Lestrange boys. If he kept to the same age group. I wouldn't put it past him, though."

Sirius paled. No way was Mira Celaeno going to get roped into one of _those_ families. And as Andrew Potter spoke again, he stood up. "She can stay with us as long as she needs, Max. No worries."

"No," he said, looking from the two men to Celaeno. "She's going to move in with me. I'm signing for a flat next week, and we decided that she'll room with me earlier."

Celaeno's fearful face melted, relief glittering on her features. She nodded, looking up at her stepfather, aunt, and uncle. "We were going to tell you tonight, during dinner. He needed a roommate, and I thought it would be fun."

"Sirius," Eli said slowly, "how many bedrooms does the flat have?"

Max Rookwood chuckled, snorting as Andrew Potter bit back laughter. "Two!" Sirius exclaimed, looking highly affronted that she would think such a thing of him. "You know, I _have_ grown up in the past seven years."

"Of course," Eli Potter said absently, smiling. She looked at Celaeno, remembered her as a young girl, and smiled again. "You certainly have grown up. But you still have more growing up to do."

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

"Isn't this great?"

He leaned back on the couch, propped his feet on the table and laughed as she promptly removed his feet and glared at him. "Yes, and don't put your feet on the table. You'll have to clean it if you do."

Chuckling, he looked at her with a grin. "You're gonna have to live with me now, Mira. Get used to it."

She rolled her eyes as he placed his feet on the table again. Laughing, they looked at each other and smiled. It was great, and they were going to make the most of it. Of course, James, Lily, Alice, Frank, Remus, and Peter would probably spend every spare moment with them. As they _were_ the only ones with their own place. Making a face, Celaeno looked at Sirius and asked, "When you agreed to let me get this place too. Was it because of my father?"

Starting, he twisted to face her. He had expected the question to come up eventually, but not so soon. As he watched the questions swim in her eyes he sighed and shrugged, "I guess. When I first said it, it was. But I'd have ended up bringing you with me anyway. I was already warming up to the idea. So the overprotective bit kicked in and sped up the whole process, but you'd have been here anyway. Don't worry about it. You know me. I'd tell you I wanted you out if I didn't want you here."

"I know that, silly," she said with a laugh. "I was just wondering about that part. It feels weird. It's been less than six months since we left Hogwarts, and already it feels like forever."

"I know!"

She laughed at the enthusiasm in his voice and then she perked up suddenly, "Hey, we're right near that muggle place. The cinema, remember I told you about it? The one Lily got really excited about."

"There's a cimena near here?"

Laughing again, she shook her head. "Cinema, not cimena. Merlin, Sirius, you really ought to have taken Muggle Studies more seriously. You _did_ take it."

"And failed my OWL."

"No you didn't. You and James got the same grade, and I know he did well on his. How you managed to do well without retaining any information I'll never know, but that's life I guess. Do you want to go?"

"Sure. I've never actually been to a muggle movie."

"Oh, they're brilliant! Come on, let's go!"

Jumping to his feet, Sirius grinned. "Alright. You go call Remus and Alice and I'll talk to James and Lily."

"Yay! It'll be a party!"

Eyes lighting up, Sirius turned toward his roommate. Celaeno mentally kicked herself as she saw the gleam in his eyes. "We have _got_ to have one of those."

As he ran off to get his two-way mirror and talk to James, she shook her head and turned toward their fireplace. "And here I was, thinking he was starting to grow up."

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

"There!"

She straightened the cushion and straightened, beaming and looking supremely self-satisfied. Between the six of them they were all tired, slightly sweaty, and positively beaming. And James, raven hair messier than usual and eyes shining with joy, swept down over her and kissed her deeply. She responded, smiling at him as he swung her around. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered, arms around his neck as he rested his forehead against hers.

Reaching forward, Remus swept her away from James, "Alright, you're going to make Lily jealous, Prongs, if you keep that up. It looks good, I'll give you two that. Impressive, what you did while we played with the rest of the house."

"It's a beautiful place," she said softly, smiling as she watched James grab Lily and kiss her heatedly. "James, darling, if you're going to copulate at least wait until everyone else leaves. Oh, nevermind, Lily's staying with me tonight."

"She is?"

"You're staying here with James, Sirius, remember?"

Remus laughed as Sirius's mouth opened in a round expression of surprise as he remembered that he _was_ supposed to stay with James. Pressing a kiss to her hair, he watched Sirius turn to his best friend, "It does look great. Moony's right. And we made it look even better, right Wormtail?"

Peter laughed, agreeing readily as James clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Well then, let's see what we have for lunch. Cela made us something."

"Oh, no!" Lily smiled, knowing what Celaeno was going to say as the girl looked at her cousin in horror. "I didn't make anything! It was Sirius."

"Sirius?"

Laughing, Sirius winked at Peter. "Yes, Wormtail, I _can_ cook. I'm pretty damn good at it too, if I may say so."

"I'd let Cela be the judge of that," Peter said wryly and the others laughed.

Looking fondly at her roommate, Celaeno nodded in approval. "He isn't half bad, actually. Enjoys it well more than I do, so I just let him cook for us. I'll do the cleaning."

"With your compulsive tendencies, I'm not surprised," Remus said with a laugh, squeezing her waist as she glared at him. "You know we love you, Cela, obsessive or not."

"Thank you Remus," she said with a sigh, looking at Lily for help.

Reaching out, Lily grasped Celaeno's arm and tugged her away from Remus. "Come on, Cela, we have some talking to do. Now."

Looking at her best friend in the mirror as she fingered her hair, Cela asked idly, "What is it Lily?"

"What's going on between you and Remus?"

Turning, she leaned against the wall and shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Lily. I love him, I really do. And I know he loves me. It's how, on both ends, that has us both at a loss. I don't think he's in love with me, and I don't think I'm in love with him. But I'd be happy with him, I really would. I don't know. As of now it's pretty much just physical."

Sighing, Lily rolled her eyes. "You have issues with men, you know. For all your romantic notions, if you keep on this path you're _never_ going to find a guy who you really care about it."

"Are you saying Remus isn't attractive?"

"No!" Lily glared at her best friend. "Stop twisting my words. I'm saying that you and Remus having a purely physical relationship that you two would pointedly put on hold in front of everyone you know is _not_ the best way to do things. How did Sirius react?"

"He thinks it's great. He's been infatuated with the idea of me and Remus since ages ago. The whole us being best friends thing, you know."

"Good to know the whenever you say that I know I'm your _real_ best friend."

Laughing, Cela flung her arms around Lily. "Oh, I love you! I really do! You're so cute!"

Lily blushed, giggling, and then she looked at Celaeno with a smile. "We really are growing up. Could you imagine where we were just a year and a half ago?"

"I know. It feels so weird. But I think I like it, this whole growing up thing. It's new. But there's no way around it anymore, Lils. Even the Marauders. We're all growing up."

– 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 – 07 –

_Where the bloody hell was Lily?_ The thought raced through his head as he grasped her tightly, feeling her body snap against his. And where were Sirius and Remus? They were supposed to be back over an hour ago. They were supposed to be there, they actually knew what to do. He moved like lightening as he heard her gasp, softly, "James, towel, please."

He returned and felt his heart break, the blood on her hands rocking him to the core. Sirius had told him about her fits, Remus had warned him about how to deal with them, and Lily had encouraged him to be there. But he had never seen her look so broken and dejected as her body began to reject her very existence. And as the door opened he heard, "Shit!" and was only mildly aware of Sirius falling to his knees beside him. "Moony, could you get a warm, wet towel? Prongs, what happened? How long has she been like this?"

"About ten minutes. Where the bloody hell were you?"

"Picking up birds. Mira, how do you feel?"

She wasn't so sick as be unable to turn and look at him with narrowed eyes. James couldn't help but smile at the distinct _what do you think_ in her expression. It was a bit of a stupid question. He reached out and stroked her hair. "She wasn't feeling well all day, and then she just started coughing."

Remus came back, pushing Sirius aside and watching James jump out of the way. He kneeled before her, wiping her face and neck with the towel and letting her press it to her mouth. "Just lie there, Cela. Just wait it out. Do you want me to go get a nurse or something?"

She grabbed his hand, shaking her head and pressing the towel to her chest as she looked up at him, "No, I'll be fine. It wasn't that bad."

Wasn't that bad? Did that mean they were getting worse? They had to be, for she sounded like hell and she looked even worse. And then she coughed again, twisting sideways so they wouldn't be subject to the blood that sprinkled the towel. She continued, standing and slapping Remus's hand away as she headed out of the room. Her walk was shaky and she grabbed the doorframe as she left the room. Sirius swore, standing up and looking at where she stood, bent over the sink as she breathed in deeply. Moving, he rubbed her back, pulling her hair over her shoulders and asking gently, "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Water, please," she gasped, turning on the faucet and letting the cold water run over her pale face.

Remus's fists clenched in his lap as he watched her. "Is it because of what happened between you two?"

He started, looking at James curiously, "What? No, of course not. We're friends, we both realized that. It was mutual, you know. We were attracted, then it faded. That's all."

But Remus still watched her tensely, his form rigid as Sirius handed her a glass of water. "Anything else Mira?"

She shook her head, coughing again and turning away from him. Face clouding, countless expressions passed over his handsome features and he growled, stalking off and brooding. Sighing, Remus stepped passed Sirius and laid a hand on Celaeno's shoulder. "A little better?"

"A little," she said, nodding and looking up at him. He swept her into his arms, holding her tightly and letting her rest against him.

"Come on, Cela. Let's get you sitting again. More water?"

She nodded, letting him lead her to the couch. James jumped up, filling her glass and handing it to her quickly as Remus knelt beside her, massaging her head gently as she rested her forehead against his chest. "Mmm."

Remus smiled, knowing she was beginning to feel better. "Guessing that you like getting massaged."

"What sane person doesn't?" her catty wit was back and now James smiled as she leaned back, closing her eyes and saying softly, "I don't want to keep you. I'll be fine. I just need to rest."

"I have to head home, really," James said, bending forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "But I am going to send Lily over when she gets back. Let her see you and make sure you aren't try to play self-sacrificing. Alright?"

"Alright, Jem. Kiss?"

He obliged, letting his lips linger a moment and savouring the fact that she was still there to kiss him goodbye. Not that any of them would admit it, to themselves or to each other, but she was dying. It was a black mark on their sunny lives, and if this was part of growing up then James Potter did not like it. Maybe growing up wasn't so great after all…


	8. Realisations

She laughed and spun in a circle, turning to him and saying, "What's wrong? Why aren't you happy? Remus?"

Remus took her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead, saying gently, "Nothing's wrong anymore Mira Celaeno."

Tilting her face up, she frowned and said, "Remus, forget the past. Enjoy what we have, what you have, while it's here. For me Remus?"

Unable to refuse the soft, gentle face that he had so nearly lost, that he knew would slip away from him, he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed another kiss to her hair and inhaled deeply. Even now her presence was so ephemeral, so ethereal that death seemed only natural, only right, and with a certainty he had been long denied, he realized that she would never truly leave him, that pieces of her would remain forever and that, for her sake, he had to accept that death was not an eternal parting. And he did. In a way he had never expected to understand, he realized that death was only another place that they would all be together again, without the tribulations that made life horrific.

Fingers curling under her chin, he lifted her face, smiled, and said, "I understand now. I really think I understand now. And for you, anything. Always."

Guilt shot through James as he approached them. It was a sight he would have given anything to keep forever, and he took the picture subtly, knowing Remus would cherish it. His friend was happier, safer, than anything he or his fellow Marauders had ever been able to offer the young werewolf. _Not so young anymore_, James thought bitterly, thinking of the grey streaks in the nineteen year old's hair and the occasional strands he would pull out of his own. Age had nothing to with youth, he mused, as he thought of Gideon Prewett who, despite being six years older than them, still had the youth of childhood and adolescence. And as an auror too. Ironic, yet sadly sensible.

Wishing Lily could see this, see Remus so light and happy, James walked over to them and placed a gentle hand on Cela's shoulder, "Good morning Cela. I was looking for you, but Sirius said you had gone to find Remus. Do you _like_ doing this to me, Mira Celaeno? Making me walk all this way to find you and _my _best friend?"

Her laughter jingled and the two men grinned as she shook head, "_No_! James, don't tease me like that! Where's Lily?"

Eyes misting at the thought of the vibrant and gorgeous redhead probably sitting on the couch as he spoke, James smiled foolishly, "She and Alice were sitting and chattering on about something when I left. She and Frank had some romantic dinner last night, apparently, and they're sitting there squealing over little things and picking apart every little detail." He shook his head, the chide said with utmost fondness for both women, before he became sombre. "Mira Celaeno! _You_'re changing the topic! I'm supposed to bring you back to Frank, he wants to talk to you about something."

Mira Celaeno sighed and shook her head, "He's being redundant again. I already _told_ him no. He wants me to join some organization against Voldemort, with Dumbledore and others. I've told him at least a thousand times, _no_, I refuse to have anything to do with it. My fight against Voldemort is done, and I want no part in any order."

James and Remus exchanged hidden glances, secretly relieved that she would not be joining in on the danger. She turned away slightly, muttering, almost to herself, "My time left is limited, I don't want to mar it with more war and death than is here already."

Hand falling on her shoulder, Remus asked, "Cela? Are you okay?"

She waved her hands in a frantic motion but said nothing. Standing there, immobile, she looked at the two men for a long moment before sighing, "Fine, Remus. Until later." She looked at where James moved to follow her and, holding up her hand, stopped him quickly. "No, James, I can go find Frank myself. I'll say bye to Sirius and be on my way."

Filled with an innate grace that was purely feminine, Mira Celaeno turned on her heel and fled. James winced and looked at Remus. Shrugging, the werewolf buried his hands in his pockets and offered, "At least she said bye to us."

Raising an eyebrow, James looked at Remus for a long minute before Remus whistled out a long, slow whistle and said in resignation, "Alright, fine. That was odd. She was never as acutely aware of that summer as she is now. I'm worried about her. She's been spending a lot more time with Sirius lately, and they haven't been laughing and joking all the time like they used to. And she's trying so hard to convince me that nothing unusual's going to happen. I think she's scared, Prongs. She doesn't want to die."

It was out. For the first time, the words had been spoken, acceptance in them. Mira Celaeno was dying. James winced, but nodded dutifully. "She'd be a fool not to be scared, really. She's been trying, that much's obvious. But you don't seem fazed Moony, not so much."

He shrugged, hands deep in his pockets as he and James began to walk. "We knew what was happening all along, that it would kill her. But after so long to live with that, it's like pushing an old wound, it stops hurting that much."

James nodded, knowing there was nothing he could say to that, and looked sideways at Remus. They had all expected, especially Sirius, for Remus and Cela to end up together, but time had turned traitor on them all and the love between the two blossomed into a friendship. A friendship so deep and powerful that it often made James and Sirius twinge with unwanted jealousy. As the messy-haired man walked beside his childhood friend, he realized how much Remus loved the woman and felt his jaw tighten. For a moment he wondered if Remus would be as deeply hurt if he were to die, and then scolded himself for being so childish. And as he nudged the werewolf and grinned, he had no idea that he would do exactly that – die.

– 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 –

He stepped in, grinning, and he frowned as Cela stood up quickly, blinking rapidly to hide the tears that had been forming in her eyes. This was why Sirius had asked him to come over. "You alright, Cela?"

"I'm fine Remus. It's been a few days since you came over. I missed you. You look pale, come on. Let me get you some tea."

Tea. That was Mira Celaeno's foolproof way to deal with any problem. She rarely talked about things, less with him than with the others, but her tea was a comfort zone as well as a way to avoid confrontation. He often wondered how they were so close, when they talked about their problems so little. Perhaps that was why, because their problems were mutually understood and accepted without conversation. "Sirius said it was a hard month."

That was the most direct course of action Celaeno ever took when it came to Remus' lycanthropy. It had been a hard month, one of the worst in a long time. "I've had worse."

"Sit, drink, it'll make you feel better."

He obeyed, watching her look at him carefully. In some ways he wished he had fallen in love with the beautiful woman, the large brown eyes that would look at him fondly, the features that made her worthy of being named after one of the Pleiades. She blinked again, her long lashes drawing attention to her chocolate eyes as she continued to look at him carefully. "So did you come see me because you wanted to or because Sirius asked you to?"

"How'd you –?"

"I've lived with Sirius for over two years, plus all of Hogwarts. I think I know how he thinks well enough by now."

"He was pretty worried about you."

"He's always worried about me. I tell him about a thousand times a day, that he should either do something about it himself or find a better object to worry about."

Remus smiled. That was Mira Celaeno, alright, fiercely independent till the end. "I'm glad he asked me to come over though. I've been wanting to for a while, but I kept on making up excuses for other stuff I had to do."

"So menial chores are more important to you than I am?"

Laughing, he drank the tea. Though he knew it was her presence that cheered him, he always marvelled at the magic properties of her tea. He might have actually taken Divination if it had been able to do the same thing as Cela's odd remedies. She had something for every little malady he could think up. "Why didn't you go with him to James's? Lily's there, and I _was_ there. Peter and Alice are supposed to come by later, it would have been a party."

"I wasn't feeling well yesterday."

Yes, Sirius and Lily had both mentioned that. Her fits were slowly starting to become worse, and more frequent. And it was James worrying this time. "James suggested you and Sirius get married so that you can get VIP service at St. Mungo's."

Her laughter rang through the air. "Oh, he would! The little imp! Well, he doesn't need to worry. Sirius is a god, remember? I don't need St. Mungo's."

It was joke rather than denial, though he sensed her anticipation beneath her joviality. "Come back with me, Cela. I told James I'd come back, and it would make everyone happy to see you come too."

Sighing, she took the empty teacup from him. When she reached the sink she turned back and looked at him carefully. He stood, his tall form even more intimidating beside her small, slender figure. Remus jumped as she flung her arms around him, hanging on his neck and nodding into his shoulder. "I really missed you."

She needed a hug, a good, tight embrace, and he was more than willing to give it to her. Breathing deeply, he held her and waited for her to step away. When she did she was smiling again, her face slightly paler than it had been before, but she winked at him and grabbed her cloak, apparating away. With a _pop_ he appeared just outside the door. While Mira Celaeno, as James' cousin, could enter the house immediately, he didn't have the luxury of family bonds. Flinging the door open just as he reached it, she beamed at him and pulled him inside. "Guess what I caught?" he called, laughing as James and Lily looked out of the living room.

With a happy yelp, James ran forward and swung Celaeno into a hug, Lily laughing as Celaeno made a face at him. She had not seen her cousin or best friend in nearly two weeks, the longest since they had left Hogwarts. "Hello to you too James. Could you put me down though, maybe?"

James laughed, hugging her tightly and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Why haven't you been coming by? I've missed my little cousin."

"It's been a busy couple of weeks at work. Plus I haven't been feeling well, so if I was home I was trying to sleep."

"Oh, you should have let me know! I'd have brought you some soup, or come and given you some company at the very least!"

Smiling at Lily, Cela shook her head. "Honestly, Lily, I was happier sitting by myself. And if it makes you feel better, Sirius was as attentive as any fussy mother."

"What about me?"

Cela's laughter turned into a fond small as Sirius poked his head into the room. Their gazes locked for a moment, and she knew they would be doing some serious talking later that night, but for now she just laughed. "Only that you're a very good mother, Sirius."

"See how amazing I am Prongs? I'm even good at being a girl!"

"That isn't something most men would be proud of, Padfoot," James pointed out casually, guiding Cela into the living room.

– 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 –

"So, what was it that Moony said that I hadn't been able to pull off?"

"Do you really want to know? Or will you just get bitter about it and wonder why you didn't think of it first?"

Though he had started to respond, Sirius froze. She was right, again. He hated it when she was right. Not really, but he said he did at times like this when her correctness served only to frustrate him. "Is it wrong that I'm worried about you?"

"No. It's wrong that you're trying to shelter me. What's going to happen is going to happen. We've done what we could. Trying to hide me from the world because it makes you feel better isn't going to help anything. Is it wrong that I want to live my life without worrying about your reaction?"

Kneeling before her, he cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone gently. "You and James are the closest thing to family I have left. I can't take care of James, the whole Marauder thing. But you need me, and I need to know that I can serve some purpose in someone's life. I want you to live your life, but I would rather you live the longest sheltered life possible than risk losing you because of a few weeks of fun. You are my family. I've lost a family once, I don't want to lose it again."

Her eyes closed. She had always been comforted by his touch, but now she wanted to wallow in his arms. Wondering when exactly she had changed so much, she gulped and struggled not to open her eyes. She couldn't trust herself if she looked into his dark eyes. After all, his eyes saw parts of her that she wasn't ready to see herself. His hand on her cheek was enough to sustain her for now. For all of his insight into the depths of her soul, she wondered why he couldn't see what she felt was painfully obvious.

Taking her closed eyes as sorrow and discomfort rather than the anguished joy it was, he sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Would you look at me?"

Almost instantly her eyes opened, and she was unable to keep the light from entering her chocolate gaze. He was beautiful enough to draw her gaze from Adonis himself, and his proximity filled her to the brim. They had talked often, more often of late, but it had been a long time since he had ventured so close to her. She spoke before she thought of what she was saying, and she winced once she finished. "If you're so afraid of losing me, then why are you staying away? We live together and I rarely see you. I've had nurses spend more time with me than you have. You were supposed to be my friend, not my doctor. I have the doctors at St. Mungo's to take care of me. I want to come home to a friend. Maybe that's what Remus had that you didn't. Maybe it was because he cares enough about me to know that I would rather live a little less with my friends than live forever without them."

Wondering why _she_ was the one wincing, Sirius shook his head. Did she not realize what she did to him? All it took was the deep gaze from her chocolate eyes, the way the light flickered over her breathtaking features, and he was gone. Had she not wondered why there hadn't been any other women in so long? Why there never would be another woman? Horrified that she took his denial as distance, he shook his head again, more vigorously, and held her tightly. "No, no. Mira, if there's anything you know it's that I want you to be happy. You're as much a fr –" he cut himself off. He couldn't call her a friend, not when she was so much more than that. "You mean as much to me, if not more, than James and Remus and Lily and Peter and anyone else. I –"

"Stop talking Sirius."

She needed to be held. He recognized that now. And he obliged, holding her tightly and inhaling her scent with pleasure. He could feel the tension in her shoulders, and he wished he had thought to hold her sooner. Without loosening his grip on her, he massaged the tightness in her away, feeling her body relax against his. "Go get changed, meet me in my room. We have a lot to talk about."

He changed quickly and wished for a moment that it was more than friendship between them. He may have only wished it for a moment, but the ache remained in him permanently. His breath caught in his throat as she came in, her sleeping gown brushing over her thighs and lace collar exposing her pale chest. She was beautiful. Making room for her on his large bed, he managed to breathe hoarsely, "Mira."

"You're still wearing the pyjamas I got you."

"They're comfortable. Aren't you going to get sick?"

"It's summer, Sirius, I think I'll be fine. Where were you last Friday? You usually leave a note or something when you go out."

Friday night? Oh! Sirius grinned, "I was out with James and Remus, getting your birthday present. It's coming up, if you remember."

"Ooh! What is it?"

Laughing, he tweaked her nose, "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, silly!"

Pouting, she crossed her arms over her chest. He swallowed as the line of her breasts rose, her little figure barely covered and her legs bare across his bed. "But Siri!"

"Don't 'but Siri' me. How many times have I told you not to call me 'Siri'?"

She laughed, beaming at him. Merlin, he had missed this. Though she wouldn't admit it now, she had missed it as well. Without thinking, she leaned over and kissed him. Though it was certainly not the sisterly kisses she had given before, surprise kept Sirius from comprehending exactly what kind of kiss it was. "I don't count."

"Mira –" Sirius shook his head, stopping. He couldn't focus on her face; his eyes kept returning to her lips. She yawned, hand flying up to cover her mouth. "You're tired!"

"It's late."

"You should sleep. Exhausting yourself isn't a good idea, especially with how heavy things are for you at work."

He was not so blind as to miss the hurt that crept into her eyes. "Alright, I'll go."

Grabbing her arm, he grinned at her. "Who said anything about going? I just said sleep. You're already here, aren't you? Besides, it's a lot more comfortable to sleep with a pillow. And I don't like the idea of you sleeping in that. You might catch cold."

"And it'll be so different if I sleep here?"

"At least there'll be body heat."

He winked roguishly and she laughed. Yawning again, she nestled into his arms and closed her eyes. "This is nice. I've missed you."

Ruffling her hair gently, he blew at her ear lightly. "I've missed you too."

"G'night Sirius."

Looking down at her crafted features, he smiled and rested his head atop hers. "Good night Mira Celaeno."

– 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 –

"What do you think happens when you die?"

Sirius looked up sharply, surprise crossing his features as he set the Daily Prophet down. "I dunno. Why?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot. If there's really a heaven and a hell, and where I'll end up. What it's going to be like, what it'll feel like, especially without you all there."

"You say it like you know you'll die first. James is an Auror, he could well die before you."

"But he wouldn't. He has too much a reason to live, now that Lily's finally agreed to marry him, once she's finished her healer training. He just wouldn't. You know that. And she won't die because he'll protect her. You're safe, and Remus is too well hidden to be in danger. I don't _expect_ to die, I'm just wondering what happens."

"You'll end up in heaven. It couldn't be a good place if you're not there."

Mira Celaeno smiled, her chocolate eyes melting as she watched him carefully. "Then you'll have to end up in heaven. All of you. Because I couldn't stay there without you all."

Laughing, he reached over the table and patted her hand. "You're funny, Mira. The Marauders, in heaven? You'll have to learn to live without us, because heaven wouldn't do without you."

Her eyes shone in her face, her gaze locked on him as she shook her head. "Don't say that, Sirius. You're good, all of you. If anyone belongs in heaven, it's the people who put others before themselves. You've done that too many times to be refused a place in heaven. Besides, I can't even live without you now, what would I possibly do for all eternity without you?"

"Find someone else to cook?"

He had come up with the witty reply as an impulse, grinning at her. Yet his grin froze over his face as he caught her gaze, serious and dark as she watched him. Reaching out, he patted her cheek gently, "Don't worry. We'll be together, Mira, all of us. I'm just worried it'll hurt."

For a moment she froze, looking at him, and then she began to wonder. She knew she would die before them, long before them, and the reality of that scared her infinitely. She was not afraid of death, she was afraid of being without her root. They were what kept her sane, what held her down, and without them even heaven could never be more than average. Would that then be her purgatory? It wasn't _death_ that she feared the pain of; it was the possibility of spending years without the people who made life worth living.

He frowned as he watched the change come over her face. It was rare to see the woman's shining features take on such a melancholy tone, and it always unnerved him. Too long had he been taking care of her to tolerate such anguish. "What is it now?"

The words came out before she could stop herself. "I'm scared."

She clapped her hands over her mouth, looking up at him apprehensively and mentally kicking herself as he stiffened. Reaching out, he drew her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing her hair and shaking his head. "Don't be scared. There are too many good things in this world for you to waste your time with fear."

"It's not this world that scares me."

He hated it when she brought up death. It was a cruel reminder that she would leave them, and it drove him mad. "Mira!" Shaking her roughly, he looked at her and grated, "Don't talk like that! I don't want to hear you talk like that! You're young, you have plenty of time left."

"What if I don't?"

Wincing, he stroked her cheek, "That isn't an option. And whenever you _do _go, you can look forward to an eternity of the Marauders and Lily to keep you company."

Smiling weakly as she closed her eyes, she wished she could believe him. Had he held her, had he kissed her, she may have. Recognizing the distance in her stance, he did just that. Brushing his lips gently over hers, he squeezed her tightly and asked, "Do you want me to get Moony? Or Prongs? They might be able to do a better job of cheering you up."

"I don't want to be cheered up," Mira Celaeno said softly, squeezing Sirius's hand. "I want to be spoken to, like I may actually have a point. Even if you don't agree with me, you give me that much."

Grinning, Sirius brushed her hair out of her face gently, "Hey, isn't that what brothers are for? Even if we want to tease you, we'll listen when we should."

Forgetting that she wanted more than sibling fondness from him, Celaeno smiled and leaned forward, laying her forehead on his shoulder. "Thank you."

"No more opinions of death and the afterlife then?"

"Not yet. I'll let you know when I have more, though."

– 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 –

Eyes fastened on her sculpted features, he half-wished she had nightmares more often. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and he wanted more than anything to know she was his. His chest swelled until it seemed fit to burst and he realized with a crash that he was in love with her. He had fallen in love. Helplessly and unalterably in love. And he had fallen in love with Mira Celaeno, the one woman he had sworn he would never hurt. Shaking his head, he sighed heavily. He couldn't be in love with her. She was like his sister. He was in love with the idea, he had to be. Who wouldn't be, after all? The prospect of the beautiful goddess waiting when he got home, in his bed, in his life, was a dream. He wasn't in love with Celaeno Venatici. He was attracted to her, certainly; he had been attracted to her since he was sixteen years old. But that wasn't love. It would be any man's dream to make a beautiful romantic like Celaeno fall in love with him, it was only reasonable that he would want the same thing. But even that, even that _plus_ his attraction for her, could not equal love.

He continued in such a manner, convincing himself that the deep ache within him, the fervent desire to hold her close and shield her from the world, was not love. He knew he loved her, he had known that for years, but she was like a sister to him. Right? He was mixing his love for her with lust, and this idea that he could be _in love_ with her would pass. All foolishness did, eventually. But for now…

She turned within the grasp of his arms, her face tilted up toward his and her fair features illuminated in the moonlight. He could watch her forever. Food, air, water, those were extra. This was what he needed to sustain himself. Forgetting that he wasn't in love with her, he watched her. "Sirius?"

She looked up at her, her chocolate eyes shining with a half-awake haze. He was beautiful, able to outshine the gods themselves as his strong, handsome features turned to look down at her. Toned muscles rippling against her, she wished that they would hold her the way she had seen them hold the women he cared about. Not like her, she was family to him. She had long since realized that she was in love with the heartbreaking Sirius Black. Not that he would ever know. She knew him too well, and she knew that if he ever found out about her love he would tie himself down just to protect her. Him and his foolish notion that she needed protection. It was never his protection she was after; it was the feel of his arms coming around her, of his body heaving with the fierce need to hold her. She loved him too much to ever tie him down, especially out of brotherly affection rather than actual desire. It was a secret fantasy of hers, for him to actually be in love with her. He loved her, she knew that, but it was brotherly, and she knew he would have to believe it was sisterly love being reciprocated by her. She would rather see him with another woman than see him bound to her by his sense of loyalty and duty.

He had been watching her sleep, she knew that. He did that often, especially after she had nightmares. Touched by his selfless goodness, yet again, she reached up to kiss him gently. The fond gesture was characteristic of them now, and nobody ever thought anything of the chaste kisses between the two. Even the deeper kisses, which to an outsider may have appeared too long or heated to be idle, were still chaste. Through the years, through the attraction, she had never felt him actually kiss her. Nor had she kissed him. No, she remembered as her lips touched his. Only three weeks earlier, when they had reconciled their differences, she had kissed him. Of course, his surprise allowed him to register the kiss as different, but he had never figured out what kind of different. And this time, she felt shock overwhelm her as his hands grasped her arms, tightly, his lips responding in a way she had long dreamed of.

Without even thinking about it her arms wrapped around his neck, her cheeks flushed as she looked at him. She knew he was attracted to her, but the lust in his eyes surprised her as he swept back over her. It was a deeper kiss now, her hands in his hair as his hands roamed, fisting into her hair, playing at her shoulders, fingering her waist, running along her hips. She let him set her down, helping him find his place above her, arching her body into his as his lips touched her neck. She gasped, her hands digging into his shoulders as his hands slid up her thighs to where her shorts marked an obstacle.

She was responding like a dream. He wanted to pinch himself, to make sure he _wasn't_ dreaming, but as he felt her fingers curl into his back he knew it was real. She had never liked her legs, he remembered that, but now, beneath his hands, they were the legs of a goddess and he loved them. Her lips, her hands, her legs, her pert body, they were driving him crazy. He could take her then and there and still want more. And he wondered how she knew his body so well as she arched into him, her sigh swallowing his groan of pleasure. His hands slid up her legs, over the silk that covered her waist, and when he touched her bare waist he realized what he was doing. This was Mira Celaeno. Breaking away, he sat back and looked at her.

Her chocolate eyes were dark with satisfaction, her pale features flushed as she looked at him with a smile on her swollen lips. Itching to reach for her, he shook his head and tried to figure out what to say. Awkwardness overwhelmed him and he felt a wave of relief as she leaned forward and kissed him deeply, breaking away and nestling herself into his arms. It hadn't been her usual sisterly kiss, he could recognize the difference between the two already, but her scuffle into his grip relaxed him. She wasn't going to try to deal with the issue. Fine then, he wouldn't either. It would just exist.

– 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 – 08 –

"So nobody's coming tonight?"

"Nope, it's just us."

She looked up at him and smiled. Four months now they had been sneaking around. Not only did she want to keep it a secret, he was terrified of letting them know. Well, he was really terrified of James and Remus's reactions if they were to find out. Tonight would be another one of those nights, lips moving, bodies touching, and never a word being said. They could talk for hours, days, months on end, but nights like these they seemed afraid to speak. Talking about things would bring them back to reality – a place that they both believed would make whatever it was they had impossible. He looked at her carefully, wondering what sort of mood she would be in tonight. She looked stunning, her red dress robes framing her form and her face lightly made up from her formal luncheon earlier that day. He watched as her hair fell over her shoulders, falling from its elegant braided bun – he never knew what to call those things she placed on the top of her head – and he wondered why she was settling for this.

Any man would have been willing to give up everything for a chance to be with her. And he had it. And what was he doing to show it? Lusty snogging sessions at night when nobody could walk in? He had been more daring at Hogwarts. Disgusted with himself for treating the woman he loved so foolhardily, he forced a smile in reply. Then he froze. There he went saying _love_ again. He was _not_ in love with her! He was just enjoying being with her, physically and emotionally. His ever-deepening attachment was a combination of brotherly affection and lust, how many times did he have to repeat himself? "Sirius? Are you okay?"

She looked worried about him. Dammit. Here he was, arguing with himself about being in love with her, and she was sitting there like an angel. "Sorry, love. I'm fine. I'm just trying to decide what we're going to do tonight."

Amused, she leaned back in her chair. "Oh really? Just as long as it doesn't involve anything from any books James bought you."

He laughed. She was priceless, a real gem. And he was proving it to her by kissing her? The idea came to him like a revelation and he suddenly understood the muggle cartoon images of a light bulb flashing on over someone's head. "Move aside!"

With a swift movement he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her out of the chair, a wave of his wand transforming the table into a romantic _table Français_ for two. Grinning, he grabbed two of wine glasses she had insisted on buying ages ago. He was glad she had talked him into them now, and he placed them on the table, taking out the old bottle of wine Elizabeth Potter had given him on his eighteenth birthday. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a romantic dinner, Mira. You see, I figure that four months is a big deal to most people. So instead of lamenting the first three months of no sappy anniversaries for you, Alice, and Lily to gush over or me, Remus, and James to groan about I think the spontaneity of the fourth one should make up for it. Mira? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What do you plan on cooking?"

He froze, his mouth hanging open. He hadn't thought that far yet. He stood there, staring at her, and she laughed, leaning forward to kiss him deeply. "You're so sweet. You don't have to do this you know. I never asked for it."

"That's the first problem," Sirius said firmly, his voice suddenly found. "Four months in a relationship. There, I said it. We're in a relationship. We have been. And not once have you asked me to take you out or dote on you or anything. Lily demands it of James all the time, and you laugh when I try to make you dinner."

Mira Celaeno smiled, watching him carefully. "We're snogging behind our friends' backs and you call it a relationship? I don't _want_ you to dote on me or take me out or treat me like a princess. I have Daddy, and James, and Remus, to do that for me. I enjoy spending time with _you_, Sirius. This is extra for me."

"I don't believe you. How long have I lived with you? I know you better than that Mira. It is a relationship. Just because we haven't talked about it doesn't make it any less than what it is. Let me do this."

Taking in the intensity of his dark eyes, she smiled again. She really did love him, so much, and even this little gesture from him overwhelmed her. That was why she hadn't asked for anything, really, because even the smallest action filled her so much she was afraid she would fling herself at his feet and profess her love for him. She wanted to, so badly, but instead she reached out and laced her fingers in his, "The wine and candlelight is okay. But not in the kitchen, and let's skip dinner to make our lives easier."

She was making this too easy for him. Let's stick to the romantic part, minimize the conversation, and let us get to what we both know we want. He groaned, grabbing the two glasses and the wine bottle and going into the other room. When he came back in he saw her, gazing out the window with misty eyes. He froze and looked at her, wondering what it was that was bringing water and nostalgia to her eyes. Stepping up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek gently. Cheek resting on her head, he asked softly, "What is it?"

"Just thinking," her voice was soft as she turned into his arms and laid her head against his chest. He was so strong, so steady, and the height he had over her was no inconvenience at moments like these. "You're so sweet tonight."

"You deserve it."

The words came out before he could think about them and he cursed himself. She wasn't supposed to figure out that this was more than a physical satisfaction for him. She was supposed to think that this was merely years of attraction catching up to them. So much for that. But he stopped thinking when she looked at him, kissing him slowly and gently and deepening the kiss steadily as he crashed into her. "Come on, you said you had wine for me."

He had dimmed the lights, lit the candles, arranged the chairs, and set up the music. Everything seemed perfect and she half expected to see a bed covered in rose petals. Thankful that he hadn't done that much, she knew she would have been unable to stop him if he had.

The candlelit wine lasted about twenty minutes, the half-finished wine bottles abandoned, the lights and music gone, and it was the bed they used now. She wondered why she let him talk her into getting ready for bed. From the moment she slid into her sleeping gown, all she remembered was kissing him. His hands slid down her body, caressing her chest, sliding up her legs, roving over her body. She gasped and he kissed her, his lips slowly trailing over her cheeks and down her neck. "Shh. Kiss me."

She didn't have the will or the desire to fight him. His pace increased, his touch harder and his lips ravaging hers. Gasping, she readied herself and let him swallow her. He kissed her again, deeply, his mouth moving over her cheekbone. By the dark lust in his eyes, it was impossible to tell that she had only done this with two men before him. Forgetting to feel ignorant or awkward, she watched him come toward her again, kissing her and murmuring something incoherent.

He kissed her again, the length and ardour of his kiss as though he had forgotten about oxygen. She gasped, breaking away and looking at him in shock. He saw the extra flush in her cheeks and paused. He had not intended to exhaust her, not in her state. Running a hand over her hips, he kissed her gently, lingeringly. Waiting for the exhaustion to set into her eyes, but he felt a wave of lazy satisfaction as she kissed him deeply. He had never before been so satisfied by so little action, he would have never been able to believe that merely kissing her would sustain him so easily. Smiling, he let himself feel fatigue and he drew her to him. Closing his eyes, he squeezed her waist and slurred gently, "Good night."

As she closed her eyes, nestling into him, she didn't notice his eyes snap open or stare at her as she murmured gently, "Night, love."

Love. Why did that stupid four-letter word always have to come into the mix? He looked at her, at the lines of her face and the curves of her body, and he thought of that night. He hadn't meant for it to end like this, another lusty snogging session in the dark. So much for his attempts at romance. But this, this was the last straw for him. He could not deny it any more, not without denying everything that made him whole and human and sane. He was in love with her. He always had been. He was in love with Mira Celaeno. And he was happy.


	9. I Love You

Panicking, he banged on the door. He could hear her inside, though it was locked. Suddenly it occurred to him and he slapped himself, grabbing his wand and muttering _Alohomora_. Swinging the door open, he felt his soul tear in two. There she was, on the floor, legs folded uselessly beneath her, face in the toilet as she coughed helplessly, blood where air should have been. Grabbing a towel, he handed it to her and rubbed her back, watching as her shaking hands covered her mouth. Pulling her hair back, he lifted her into his arms easily. She convulsed, shivering violently and looking up at him with haunted eyes. "We need to get you to the doctor."

Unable to argue with him, she coughed again, her body limp as she continued to shiver. He arrived at St. Mungo's, holding her tightly against him as he followed the Medi-wizard. Already too familiar with the proceedings, he allowed himself to be sent out of the room. Giving warning that he would be back within the hour, he apparated to the house James and Lily were sharing. Now engaged, they were comfortable living together, and he banged on the door angrily, calling for them to hurry up. He didn't care what he was interrupting; it could wait. James opened the door, looking very frustrated as he demanded, "What is it Padfoot? We left Moony's twenty minutes ago, what is it that can't wait until tomorrow?"

As Sirius pushed his way past his best friend, he watched the anger fade from James' face. "Mira's at St. Mungo's."

"Is she okay? Lily! It's Sirius!"

Appearing from the kitchen, Lily brushed her red hair from her face, "Sirius, are you really this dependent on my fiancé? Oh, what is it?"

"Mira was having a fit when I got home. Couldn't figure out where she was for about ten minutes, then I heard her."

Anguish lighting her green eyes, Lily grasped his hands tightly, "Oh, Sirius, tell me she's okay. She's at St. Mungo's, right?"

Sirius nodded shortly, his face pale. "It wasn't a bad one, but she's shivering worse than ever. And she's starting to lose weight. I hadn't noticed that one before; she's usually good about catching these things. I have no idea how long she'd been sitting in the bathroom."

"Bathroom?"

James frowned, confused. Celaeno always retreated to the couch; she was smart enough to press a towel to her mouth and rest when these things started. Nodding, Sirius sank into a chair, "She was sitting on the floor, head in the loo. It was like she couldn't move. She didn't say anything or do anything when I picked her up."

"Do you think she's still getting worse?"

"I hope not," he replied, looking at Lily carefully, "but honestly, I think she might be. I guess we'll know soon. I should go back."

"I'll come with you."

Shaking his head and hugging the woman gently, Sirius insisted, "No, stay here. I'll come by tomorrow. I'm going to take her home and stay with her." Lily squeezed his hand as he left and turned back to James helplessly.

At St. Mungo's he was greeted by a face he knew well. "Dai. Thank Merlin, is she okay?"

Dai Llewllyn, James' godfather. There was no better person to be taking care of his Mira Celaeno. Dai shrugged, "For now she's fine. Come on, Sirius, you'd best sit down." Leading the young man into his office, he motioned to a chair and waited for Sirius to sit down.

"Look, I know this is going to be difficult. And it's difficult for me. I've known Cela since she was just a kid. But whatever those Death Eaters did to her, they knew what they were doing. This isn't just TB; this is the bacteria doing things that belong to different strains of TB. Plus the bacteria have infected more than just her lungs, which makes it even more dangerous and volatile. A body like Cela's has difficulty dealing with this when it's normal, so we can forget now. And medication isn't working. We've had to stop trying. It tends to make it worse, do nothing, or bring up even worse complications. I could do more, but the budget – anyway. She wanted me to tell you, I don't think she knows how to. Unless a miracle happens, there's nothing we can do now. Buy time, maybe, but with the way she's going she won't last another three years. Four, if we're lucky. I'm hoping for a miracle. But she's dying Sirius, and she's dying young."

Sirius sat, frozen, shock and horror setting in. "No. She can't be."

Jaw tight, Dai clapped the young man on the shoulder, "I know you care about her, all of you. But she's going. She really is. I'll leave you here."

He walked out, unable to witness the anguish that crawled over Sirius' face. "No. She's not dying. She's not. She can't be. Not now. I _love_ her, dammit! She can't die now! I'll go for her, just let her be safe, let her be happy! She isn't going to die!"

Burying his face in his hands, he fought back tears before realizing that he was too distraught to even cry. He couldn't accept it, lamenting it was out of the question. He loved her. Well aware of that now, he fought the desperation growing within him. What timing he had! Fall in love with her just as she took a turn for the worst! _No!_ His brain screamed it, still reeling from the shock, and he knew instantly that he could never let this woman go. So he had accepted his love for her, but the thought of losing her made him realize just how much. With a ferocity that scared him, more than life itself, so encompassing he was afraid he would explode, he loved her. Swallowing, not knowing that it had been over an hour rather than the seconds he had perceived, he stepped out. Shock had numbed him, anguish had made time stand still, and love had sped it all by in what felt like a minute. As he shut the door, he saw Dai.

Dai was surprised by the pallor and intensity of Sirius' face. The boy loved Mira Celaeno more than he had thought. Wishing he could have brought any news _but_ the news he had delivered, he said softly, "We released her twenty minutes ago. You've been in there over an hour. I was just about to get you. She went back to your place."

Sirius opened his mouth to rage at Dai, partly because he had just realized that his lungs had also frozen in terror. Cutting him off, Dai added gently, "She loves you, you know. She was worried about you before she even mentioned the others."

The thought that Mira Celaeno could have actually chosen him stunned him and what was left of his lung capacity escaped him. His eyes darkened with passion, anguish, and reality and he gasped out breathlessly, "Thank you."

Dai watched as the young man ran off, desperate to find Celaeno. He stepped into his kitchen, surprised by how lovely she looked. He had expected her to look weaker, sicker, but she radiated through her pallor. Chocolate eyes rich, face like an ivory sculpture, and figure waving like a willow in the breeze. She flung herself into his arms, her slender frame pressed taunt against his, and she murmured, "Dai told you."

"Mm-hmm," Sirius nodded, inhaling her smell and feeling his gut tense as she rubbed against him.

Unable to reply, she kissed him. Not the gentle kiss he had wanted from her, but a hot, needy kiss. Pressing her body into his, she felt him harden. Hands tightening on her arms, Sirius began to devour her. Feeling her bend beneath his grasp he remembered why this wasn't a good idea. Hard as a rock and ready to explode, he pushed her away. "No, Mira. You need to get better. You need your rest."

So she couldn't distract him, she realized with a heavy heart. That look on his face, the darkness of his eyes, wrenched at her very soul. He still thought she could get better. Did he not understand what was going on? She sat, her back rigid and her eyes filling with tears. She could feel his eyes on her, and she knew he was still aroused. She had taken care of _that_ well enough. So he wanted her. Dammit! She didn't want him to _want_ her, she wanted him to _need_ her. Shaking her head, she pushed such thoughts out of her head. Especially now, knowing that she would never be able to be there for him, _want_ was enough. But if only he could look at her with the hunger in his gaze that she had seen when James looked at Lily – she didn't know if she would laugh or cry. But she would die happy. Just one look, just one of those looks that screamed adoration and need, something she wanted before she died and could never ask for. She could never want it, for his sake. Searching for her voice, she had to remind him. He had to understand. She did, after all. "Did you not hear Dai?"

He looked at her, eyes dark and heavy as he struggled to breathe. Desire, adoration, and terror ate at him. Did she not understand what it was doing to him? Before he had time to think about the answer her eyes turned to his, the luminous gaze clouded by tears as she digested the hunger in his gaze. The hunger she had been aching to see. Unable to keep herself from laughing, or crying, she did both. Need fading into terror, he grabbed her and smoothed her tears away furiously, kissing her lightly until it was just laughter on her lips. "No, no, no. Don't cry. Anything but that, I can't bear to see you cry."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"

"You have nothing to be sorry about!" he cut off vehemently, reaching down to kiss her again from where she sat. His lips were gentle this time, no longer urgent, and he pressed them to her forehead as well as her lips. "I love you."

Freezing, she looked up at him slowly. "What?"

"You heard me. I've been trying to tell you for so long."

She stood quickly, moving away from him and shaking her head. "Don't say that. Don't ruin this, please."

Hands grasping her arms like a vice, he pulled her toward him. "Would you listen to me! This isn't like before. This isn't just another fling, I swear it. We've been so close for so long, I wish I'd thought sooner about what you are to me. I can't stand to be here, to see you, to know how much I love you and not have you know it!"

"You're just saying that. Please, you don't have to. You know you don't."

Shaking her, he growled at her, "Stop telling me what I'm saying! I'm trying to explain it to you and you won't let me! I've been telling myself that I'm in love with the _idea_ of you, or that I'm just trying to be closer to you, to put off telling you. I can't put it off anymore. I'm more in love with you than I thought possible. I didn't think I was capable of loving, not like James and Lily and Alice. I didn't think I deserved it, or you. Bloody hell, I still don't think I deserve you. That's beside the point. I just crashed into the idea of love, and it's entirely because of you. You are the one thing in my life right now, believe me. Anything, anything I could do to prove to you that I'm not just talking."

"You're scaring me."

"Good!" looking at the hesitancy in her eyes, he softened and wrapped his arms around her. Lips on her hair, he continued roughly, "I picked the worst timing, I know. But you have become the most important thing in my life and I will never let you go. Whether you die tomorrow or in ninety years, I want to be with you every day of my life. Marry me. Let me show you every day how much a part of me you are. You're everything, let me be with you."

Looking at him and trembling, she shook her head. "I won't be around that long, you know that. Don't throw your chances away. I want you to be happy above all else."

"I don't want happy; I want you!"

Freezing as she looked up into his eyes, she smiled sadly. "I wish more than anything I could give that to you."

There were tears in his eyes as he cupped her face in his hands and begged, "Please, please, please. Tell me you love me. Let me know it's not one-sided. I will die a happy man, even if it takes until I'm a hundred, if I know that you love me."

"I do. I love you. So much, it hurts."

"It rips at you from the inside until you don't know how you can still feel anything at all. And then I see you and I remember why I feel so much, because I love you. Merlin, I love you so much. I – Merlin, Mira, I love you."

Panicking at the sight of his tears, she reached up and stroked his cheeks fervently, voice shaky as she choked out, "No, Sirius, don't! Don't! I love you. I love you so much. I can't stand to see you like this. Don't, please. Sirius, love, don't. Whatever you want, just promise me you'll never look like this."

"I need you."

"We live together."

"As roommates. I don't want to know you're free. I want to know your mine. I want to know that I'm loved by the most wonderful woman in the world. Marry me, please. I need it, so badly."

She nodded, choking out, "When?"

"Tomorrow? Next week? Now? Now. Let's get married now."

"How would you explain that to James and Remus and Peter?"

Pulling her down beside him, he looked at her seriously. "Do you want them to know about us? No, you don't. You always hated favouritism and this'll be like that for you."

"James has been telling me you and I should get married so that I can get better treatment from St. Mungo's."

She smiled here, fond thoughts extended toward her beloved's best friend. Eyes widening, he grasped her hands, "That's it! Mira, you're a bloody genius! You had another fit, we don't even need to make excuses. I was afraid of you getting worse too quickly for anything to be done about it, that's why we didn't wait. We got married right away, just in case. And just for the technicalities that being a Black will give you in St. Mungo's, of course."

"Do really want the word 'married' enough to lie to James?"

Moved by her doubt, he leaned forward and kissed her gently, "You'll understand tonight, Mira. I love you more than anything in the world. I would do anything for even the little bit that I could be closer to you."

"I don't have a white dress."

"The one you're wearing for Lily and James's wedding. We can just charm it white. You look like an angel, even better, like a goddess, in it."

She smiled and looked at him. "You really do love me. I didn't think it was possible."

Groaning, he drew her into his arms and just held her, eyes falling shut as he felt her steady breath and smelled her scent. "Merlin, how could I not?"

– 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 –

She smiled, tears of joy filling her eyes at the sound of his laughter. He hadn't laughed with such sheer ecstasy in years, and the fact that she was the cause filled her with unspeakable joy. Laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she let him kiss her again. He had been kissing her, those gentle kisses that had always melted her a little, for years, but now his kiss was different. Her heart all but stopped and she went lax, fingers curling into his shoulders as she poured herself into him. All those stories about the Casanova the man was proved true, she mused, but she knew that this was different. No woman would ever step away from a man who kissed her like this, like she was everything and that everything he was, was a part of her.

Gasping, she looked at the smouldering passion and heart wrenching love in his eyes. She had always loved his eyes, those dark pits that burned through you and revealed the deepest and darkest secrets of both parties. He was not even bothering to disguise his blatant adoration as he stroked her cheeks, patting her gently. "Are you okay? Is everything okay?"

"I didn't think you loved me like this. It's unnerving."

"Terrifying, I know. But you love me this much, it's in your touch. Will you let me –? I've been wanting to for so long."

"I married you, didn't I?"

He smiled, though he was preoccupied with the present more than even the very recent past. "Is it your first time?" He didn't know what to expect, but he felt a wave of surprise as she nodded. Stroking her cheek, he asked softly, "You and Remus didn't –?"

He was like a little boy again, and she smiled as she reached up and kissed him. "Never. The time that would have allowed it ended too quickly for anything of this magnitude to have even begun. You are my first love, and my only."

Groaning, he kissed her gently, deepening the kiss slowly as he managed brokenly, "You don't know what you do to me."

Letting her eyes close, she purred. "Then show me."

Her name was on his lips, his name on hers, and he wanted nothing more than to stay so close to her, so serene, and so safe forever. Arms wrapping tightly around her, he felt her curl into him. So many times she had slept in his arms, but this time was different. It wasn't Mira Celaeno in his arms, it was _his_ Mira, and he held her as though she would disappear if he let go. Perhaps it was good that it was cold, for she had no complaints of proximity or heat. In fact, as she burrowed into his arms and let her fingers curl into his shirt, her voice rippled through him. "I love you."

Overcome, he found himself unable to reply. Burying his face into her hair and letting tears of sheer exaltation fall, he managed hoarsely. "Mira."

Through the weeks and months that passed, their marriage seemed to be forgotten by their friends and he learned to hold with less desperation. Yet their nights were no less rich, their laughter no less joyful, their words no less profound, and their embrace was no less loving.

– 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 – 09 –

"Sirius," she gasped, her fingers curling into his shoulders as they arched into each other.

"Say it again," he managed breathlessly, lips on her neck as she fell backwards and moaned. "Say my name, Mira."

Her hips curved upward, grinding against him as his movements became faster, more desperate, and she met him with equal eagerness. Body tightening like an arrow, her voice carried a sharp ring, heavy with arousal as she pulsated beneath him, "Sirius!"  
Eager to please her and eager to be pleased, Sirius rolled with her, ignoring the noises from the other room as he thrust, harder, faster, and deeper. Her legs had long since wrapped around his hips, their bodies closer together than ever before, and they moved with a motion furious and desperate. His eyes all but rolled into his head as her nails pierced his shoulders, her voice thick with need, "I want it. Now."

Her name on his lips, he moved like a madman to satisfy her, their sweat and skin mingling. Her hips arched forward beneath his weight, his hips forced downward despite her presence, they sought to disappear within each other. All but screaming, she kissed him fiercely. His mouth swallowing her cry, he thrust desperately as she collapsed beneath him. She lay, lifeless, as he finished and fell on top of her. Breathless, sweaty, and utterly sated, they stared at each other. Kissing her, pushing himself off her roughly, he smiled. "I love you."

Pulling the sheets around her shoulders, she kissed him in return. "I love you too."

"I'm getting some water. You want some?"

As he threw pants on she nodded, watching him leave the room. He froze, feeling his blood curdle as he saw Remus, standing and tapping his foot. "Moony. What're you doing here?"

Eyebrow quirking at the sight of Sirius walking around topless in late February, Remus shook his head. "Waiting for you. You said to stop by, remember? I heard Cela earlier. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Sirius said quickly, filling the two glasses. "She got mad at me because I stole her towel while she was in the shower. Let me go get her, she kicked me out cause she wanted to change. She should be done by now."

Remus raised an eyebrow, suspicious of something he couldn't place. Sirius darted back into the room, saying breathlessly, "Mira, finish getting dressed. Moony's been standing out there waiting."

Whirling around and forgetting that she was in her underwear, Mira Celaeno's eyes went wide. Sirius shook his head and she breathed a sigh of relief, sliding into her robes quickly and letting Sirius pull her into a deep kiss. Smiling, she stepped out and flung herself into Remus' arms. "Hey you! Sirius, where's the water I asked for?"

"Here darling," Sirius said, handing her the glass and accepting an idle kiss.

"You two act like an old married couple," Remus teased, laughing.

Thankful that Remus didn't know the truth to his tease, Celaeno wrapped her arms around his waist, "But you're still our best friend, Remus. Married old loons or not."

Remus laughed, kissing her lightly and letting Sirius take him into the other room. They had Order business to discuss. They were not gone long, but when they returned Remus kissed Cela again, hugging her tightly and clapping Sirius on the back as he left. The door shut and Sirius locked it, turning to Mira Celaeno with a fiery glint in his eyes. Grabbing her and kissing her fiercely, her robe was on the floor in seconds. Legs around his waist as she found herself between him and the wall, she gasped as he ravaged her neck, "Sirius. Shouldn't we get out of the kitchen?"

"I'm taking you here and now, dammit."

She started to laugh, her laughter dying as his fingers plunged inside her. She stiffened, gasping and letting her head fall back against the wall. Gasping, breathless and incoherent, she let him stroke her from the inside, his fingers dancing. Then she felt the floor, crying out as he plunged inside her. They were both desperate now, moving with a speed and ferocity that scared and excited them both. It was over sooner than either of them would have liked, though it lasted long enough to satisfy them both. Again sated, they looked at each other and began laughing. When had they become so reliant as to resort to laying naked on the kitchen floor? Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a comfortable embrace, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and laughed. "We need to find a better hobby."

Nestling into his arms, she smiled. "But I enjoy this one."

"You little fiend."

Laughing, she stretched and looked at where their clothes scattered the kitchen floor. Leaning forward to retrieve their clothes, she sighed. "We should at least be able to wait until the bedroom. We have two to choose from, after all."

Sirius laughed, kissing her fondly and letting her stand. He loved this woman, more than anything. As she slid her clothes back on and tossed him his clothes he stood, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. Kissing her neck, he murmured gently, "I love you. You know that, right?"

"You're very careful about reminding me. You never give me time to forget."

"Good. I never want you to."

She smiled, turning and kissing him tenderly. Stroking his face, she teased, "We need to be more careful. Remus could have found out easily today. And you're walking around naked. Go put clothes on darling."

Dancing around her and sticking his tongue out, Sirius laughed. "I like walking around naked!"

Rolling her eyes, she shooed him away and sat, leaning back against the chair and smiling as he emerged, fully clothed. Sitting across from her, he looked at her carefully, "That was close."

"I know. When you came in and said he'd been waiting – I haven't been that terrified in years."

Face clouding, Sirius reached out and squeezed her arms gently. "Mira. I'm willing to go through hell and back for this. But if it's bothering you, we'll end it. Go back to the way it was before. It'll make things easier for you, especially now."

She shot up, face going white as her lips tightened. "What are you implying, Sirius Black? My bond to you was your request, not mine."

Shocked by her defensiveness, Sirius stuttered, "I'm not saying that's what I want! Just that I'll deal with it if it's what you want."

"Is it really that easy for you? It's been over a year! If you wanted me out of your bed all you had to do was say so Black!"

She had not referred to him by his last name in years, and it stung. Getting past her use of his surname, he jumped to his feet. "Now listen here! How does taking you twice in the past two hours in the middle of the afternoon say I want you _out_ of my bed?!" Withering gaze settling on him, he winced. She had been used before; this could easily be a similar scenario. Reaching out to grasp her, he felt a stab as she pulled away from him, "That wasn't how I mean to say that. Mira, let me explain –"

"You've done enough talking!" she stepped back, wand out as her hand shook. "How long has it been? Or has this whole thing been a joke to you? Or did you really have some good intentions at the beginning? Did you think I would die before you tired of me? What a disappointment to you it must be that I'm still here!"

His breath whooshed out and he felt his vision blur. How could she think that? Shaking his head desperately, reaching out for her, he winced as she leapt away from him. "Don't touch me," she hissed, venom in her voice as she recoiled as though he were disgusting. Then he saw the tears in her eyes and his heart broke. Stepping toward her, she screamed in anguish, "I said don't touch me! Stay the bloody hell away!"

She apparated away, and he stood in shock. He stood, frozen, until he heard James' voice. Diving for his two-way mirror, he asked hurriedly, "Is Mira there?"

James' eyebrows raised. Sirius looked like he was going through hell. "You might not want to come over. What happened? She's –"

"I know," Sirius said shortly. "Did she and Lily go into the other room?" James nodded and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm coming."

With a pop he appeared at James' side. Looking at his best friend carefully, he asked slowly, "What happened? Is it another lover's spat?"

Knowing that James had no idea about his and Mira's relationship, he rolled his eyes at James' attempt at a joke. This was nothing to joke about. Turning, desperation on his face, his eyes bored into James, "Was she upset? Or was she mad?"

"Both? She looked like she was fuming to me, but Lily apparently thought she was distraught. You look like hell, mate."

"She's going to kill me," Sirius muttered darkly, jumping as Lily entered the room. "Shit."

Green eyes blazing, she grabbed Sirius by the shirt and looked up at her husband with a sweet smile, "Excuse us James, I'm going to go castrate your best friend. Come in, and I'll castrate you as well."

Eyes going wide, James held up his hands and allowed Lily to drag Sirius off. Any other time Sirius would have joked about James' abandonment, but now he was waiting for Lily to tell him something about Mira. "What the bloody hell did you to her?"

"I didn't do anything! Dammit, I just said it the wrong way."

"My best friend is in the other room in hysterics because of something you did. Don't give me 'nothing'. This isn't one of your stupid little spats either, because she has never come running to me in tears because of anything you've done before. I thought you'd grown up. I'd hoped, when you somehow managed to convince her to marry you, that you'd treat her well. That maybe she could love you, and be loved, and that it wouldn't have been for convenience in the end!"

"I do," Sirius choked. "She doesn't believe me. I don't know how to make her believe me either."

Lily froze, backing away and staring at Sirius. "What?"

"She doesn't want James and Remus to know. We had a close call and she was upset. I said we could not sleep together, just to keep up the appearance that we're just roommates. Somehow that means I don't love her."

"Did you make it very clear it was sex you were talking about?"

"I said things should go back to normal. Then I messed it up when she asked me if I just wanted her out of bed."

Groaning, Lily looked at him as though he was an imbecile. "Sirius! Going back to normal for her isn't no sex. It's back to over a year ago. That's still normal for her, even if it isn't to you anymore! You say that and she thinks that you're done with her!"

Cursing loudly, Sirius broke past Lily into the room where Mira Celaeno sat, tears streaming over her cheeks as she paced and muttered incoherently. She saw him and her eyes went wide. Looking away, body stiffening, she ignored him. "WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME?" he roared. She winced, fear in her features as she turned toward him slowly. "Dammit!" he cried, crossing the room to her in two strides and gathering her into his arms. "I love you."

Tearing away from him, tears streaming over her cheeks, she yelled with a ferocity that terrified him, "_STOP IT!_ I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE BLACK! I'M DONE! I'M NOT A FOOL!"

Grabbing her arm and whirled her to face him, he growled dangerously, "You're a bloody idiot, that's what you are. When I say let's go back to normal, I don't mean over a year ago normal. I mean _us_, with the occasional sex at night when nobody could walk in! I mean what we've had for the past year. I love you. That isn't going to change. Do you not understand that?"

"No," she managed, tears still staining her cheeks.

Shaking her, he grated harshly, "Have I ever done anything to make you think I don't love you? Have I changed at all to deserve your doubt?"

"No, and that's why I'm doubtful!" Mira Celaeno cried. "You haven't treated me any differently since seventh year! The only difference is that we share last names now and I sleep with you! Why should I believe that you love me so much if nothing's changed between us?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I've loved you since then?"

"Don't play with me, Sirius. Or I'll leave. I can't have you play with me."

"I'm not playing. I'm serious, and I'm Sirius." Her lips still quirked at the pun, and he smiled to see her momentary amusement. "I am in love with you. I don't love you like a sister, I'm not in lust with you. I would be happy spending every day of my life just holding you. I sure as hell wouldn't be okay with that if you were like a sister to me, or if I just wanted your body. I would slit my own throat before letting you walk away from me, as the woman I love. And today should leave you with no doubt that I want you too. How do you expect me to show you what you are to me when you don't listen?"

Burying her face in her hands, she muttered, "I don't know how to. I love you, so much. I'm afraid it'll end. I don't want it to."

"It won't," Sirius said. "Will you stop loving me? Answer me, honestly."

"I will love you until after time itself crumbles into ashes."

Overwhelmed by her adoration, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead. "And when that day comes I will love you as much as I do now, as much as I did the day I begged you to marry me. Between you, the Marauders, and Lily and Alice, you and James are the most important things in my life. If I live after you die, it will be for your sake. Every piece of my being is in love with you."

"I want to be with you. That's all."

"That's easy. We might get caught though."

"I don't care anymore. As long as you don't leave me."

Sirius smiled, oblivious to the fact that Lily had been watching in the doorway with eyes misted by romance. Touching Mira's cheek gently, he cupped her neck and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. Arms wrapping around her, his eyes closed in her hair and his voice was throaty and overwhelmed with emotion, "Never. You're mine. I'm never letting you go. Ever."

Sliding away, Lily looked at her husband, who was both confused and amused. Smiling at the look on James's face, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. Feeling his moan, she smiled, deepening the kiss and accepting his light kiss when she broke away. "What was that?"

"I love you James."

"I love you too, Lily-flower."

Knowing she would never tire of hearing those words, she smiled. "Sirius and Cela are better now."

"What in the name of Merlin were they on about?"

"Big misunderstanding, really. Sirius implied something that was just wrong. She saw it the wrong way and he said it the wrong way and neither of them knew how to deal with it. I think he had to feel like he was losing her to fix it. There's no need to fix it if it doesn't cause a problem, right?"

"Like my head?"

Laughing, Lily ran her fingers through his messy hair, "We took care of that one the summer before seventh year, remember? But yes. Like your big head."

"You liked my big head, remember?"

With a soft laugh, Lily shook her head. "No, James, I just let you think that. Now hush, I hear Sirius."

Sirius stepped in, his face flushed where it had been pale only moments earlier, his eyes darkened by deep agony, and his stance rigid and strained. Leaving, letting the door swing back and forth as James and Lily watched, he grabbed Mira Celaeno roughly by the arm. "Here, drink. And stop being a fool. I didn't mean it like that and I won't have you go anywhere."

"I'll only go if I have to."

Shaking her, Sirius glared at the woman he had lived with for years. "How dense can you be Mira? You're my best friend! After James, of course, but he's more my brother than a friend. That's beside the point! I don't care if you're closer to Remus than you'll ever be to me; I won't have you leave! I refuse to let you go!"

Face pale and hurt still in her eyes, she asked softly, "Even if I want to go?"

The hurt that crossed Sirius' features was so palpable that Lily felt her heart go out to the man. Voice hoarse and body slackening in disbelieving shock, he managed, "Do you want to go?"

Shocked by the pain in his face, Mira Celaeno gasped. Flinging her arms around him, kissing him, and burying herself in his arms, she cried, "Sirius, don't! No, I don't want to go. I thought you wanted me gone. I could have sworn you –"

"Don't _ever_ think that," Sirius growled dangerously, murder lurking in his eyes. "You go nowhere. Understand that well now. I won't have you go _anywhere_."

She inhaled sharply at the sight of his face, at the danger in his eyes. Noticing her reaction instantly, he softened and kissed her forehead. "Please, don't leave. Let me prove to you how much I want you stay. I'm not perfect, but I'll try. For you, I'll try."

"I don't want you to be perfect. I want you to be Sirius Black. The man –"

Her voice choked, eyes misting as she shook her head in his chest. "I won't go. Just don't ever scare me like that again. I thought I was going to die, right there. I lose you and I lose everything."

"Remus would take care of you."

"I know. But it wouldn't be you. I married you, didn't I?"

The agony in his features melting into contentment, Sirius smiled. "And I never let him forget it."

"You're awful, Sirius. He's my best friend, you be nice to him."

"What about Lily?"

"She's a girl, and it's different. She's the best of the best. You be nice to her too, because if not James would kill you too."

This time his smile reached his eyes and he ruffled her hair, "That's the girl I love. I think we scared James and Lily. Let's go see them, and then we can go back home."

She nodded, running into the kitchen and flinging her arms around James' neck. "I love you, James. You're my favourite male Potter."

"I know – wait! I'm the only male Potter!" Lily laughed and kissed her husband's cheek as Sirius snorted. Hugging Cela in return, holding her against him, James looked at his best friend. "Sorted things out, have you mate? Next time try to do it without roping my wife into it, could you? I'd had a nice, quiet dinner planned."

"A quiet dinner with you James? Lily knows not to get her hopes up that high." Looking down at the woman on his neck in shock, James lifted her up and dropped her. Smiling, she reached up and kissed him lightly, hugging Lily fiercely as she turned to Sirius, "We've got to get going too. Have fun with your quiet dinner. I'm sure you'll make up for the lack of talking elsewhere."

As Lily and Sirius burst into surprised laughter and James stared in appreciative shock, Mira Celaeno disapparated. Winking, Sirius grinned. "You heard her. We're out."

Wrapping his arms around her as he appeared with a pop, Sirius kissed her neck. "I think we've got James fooled. But not Lily."

"She isn't the brightest witch of our age for no reason. She won't tell James. Hint at it, maybe, but I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out already, really."

"Because he's expecting a change in behaviour. Which isn't going to happen. I've loved you all along, I just didn't catch on until recently."

"I love you Sirius Black."

"Good," he said softly, his hands brushing her waist as he drew her close for a deep, tender kiss. "Because I am hopelessly, desperately, and endlessly in love with you."

She spoke through the kiss, fracturing it into many smaller kisses of no less significance, "I never took you for such a romantic."

"I never thought I'd be lucky enough to prove to you how much of one I can be." He looked at her carefully, at the doubt still lingering in her eyes. Kissing her forehead, he murmured softly, "Merlin, I'm a fool. I've been acting worse than I was at Hogwarts. Will you let me show you how much I love you? It's been so long since I've touched you the way you deserve."

"Don't underestimate the man I love," she warned softly. "Yes, you can."

As he lay with her in his arms that night, he wondered at how pain and pleasure could be so similar, so heartbreaking, and so powerful. Suddenly terrified at the thought of losing her, he clutched her to him desperately, as though she would slip away if he didn't. The last time he had held her with this sort of passionate desperation had been the night they had gotten married, and she felt it. Eyes fluttering open, she smiled at him and slurred, "What is it, Sirius?"

"I never want to lose you. I love you too much."

"You'll never lose me. Just misplace me for a while. But I'll always be here when you find me. Goodnight, love."

Tears stinging his eyes, he kissed her hair and revelled in the feel of her body as she nestled deeper into his arms. Feeling a tidal wave of emotion crash into him so he felt his entire body shatter into a million pieces, he managed hoarsely, "I love you Mira. So much. I love you."


	10. Halloween

James looked at his wife, his eyes filled with a weight that surprised her. Rarely was he ever so serious after spending time with Sirius, and never when they were just talking and laughing. "What is it James?"

"I'm worried about him, Lily. He and Cela have been married for over a year. And he hasn't changed toward her one bit. I don't want him stuck in something that means nothing to him just because he's worried about her. Don't get me wrong, I want to see her better, but it isn't fair to either of them to be stuck in a loveless marriage."

"It's happened before James."

"I don't want it to happen to my best mate!"

Sighing, Lily looked at him carefully. "Did it ever occur to you that he's happy? He never _wanted_ to settle anyway, and Cela's the perfect person to let him roam without making him feel guilty. They've been too close for too long to not be fabulous together. I'd love to see her with a man that would go to the moon for her, but the only single ones she ever tolerates are Sirius, Remus, and the Prewetts. We both know that she and Remus are just friends and Sirius might have a heart attack if Cela started anything with Fabian _or_ Gideon. He's _happy_ being with her."

"Is it wrong that I want him to be in love?"

"No, it's not. It's sweet, actually. How do you know he doesn't love her though?"

Smiling at the optimism of his wife, James kissed Lily lightly. "He loves her, alright. But I don't think he's in love with her. He'd have slipped up by now and shown it to someone. We'd have caught him, I'm sure of it. If they aren't over here, Remus and Peter are there. And none of us have caught any signs of anything more than before between them."

"You do know that they have slept together."

"Lily!" James exclaimed, shocked.

"What?" Lily replied, amused by his astonishment. "They have. Maybe they didn't start off the same way we're all used to, but they care about each other. They've always been attracted to each other. I know it doesn't equal love, but Sirius would die before hurting her and she would slit her throat before hurting him. They're good for each other, even if love isn't in the mix."

"Then why do I want it to be so badly?"

Leaning back and thinking of months earlier, of what Sirius had begged her not to tell James, Lily smiled. "Because they fit together so well. Because if they were in love, death would only be a minor issue. Maybe we're all wrong, James, maybe they've been tricking us and they really have been in love this whole time."

"I wouldn't put it past Celaeno, with all her efforts toward objectivity. But not Sirius, he's my best mate. He'd have told me."

"If he loves her, James, if he really loves her. Would he really test her by telling you something he thinks you'll be able to figure out anyway? Anyway, Halloween's coming up soon, and it'll be much more magical than Bonfire Night. Watch them. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that Sirius and Mira Celaeno are more in love than you're giving them credit for."

"I hope so. If it's anything like this, like you, then he deserves it. There's nothing better. Nothing happier. You're my best friend, Lily. You're everything."

Laughing, Lily kissed him gently. "I thought Sirius was your best friend?"

"Of course. But so are you. You're my Lily. He's like a brother and friend. You're a friend, of course, but you're really more than that."

"I love you too James."

Smiling as he leaned forward and kissed her deeply, he thanked Merlin that he had straightened up enough to land the woman he was now kissing.

* * *

Halloween. It was a fabulous day, it really was. It was a right shame that muggles favoured Bonfire Night so much more. He shook his wet hair, drying it and thinking about what a fabulous night it would be as he tossed his towel onto the bed. He had been with James and Lily when the couple had decided to be a prince and princess. They really looked the part, though James' unruly hair would have been better suited to a rugged look than a royal one. Celaeno had said that Alice and Frank were coming as German shepherds, which would definitely suit the pretty pair. Though none of their friends had been privy to their decision, she and Sirius had decided to go as ancient Egyptians. Looking in the mirror, fixing the gold band Celaeno had fastened around his head earlier, he prayed it wouldn't be too cold. Perhaps the bare-chested costume hadn't been such a great idea, even if they were only outside a little. Then he thought of Mira Celaeno, glittering in the white strapless gown that had shone even without her in it. Grinning, he decided he had done two things right, preparing himself for the rush of heat that he would get every time he saw her, and investing in a wisely loose garment.

"Sirius? Is everything alright? You're taking forever."

Straightening, he threw the door open just as she had poised herself to knock. Swallowing, he felt his jaw drop. And she hadn't even put the costume on yet. Her long hair cascaded over her shoulders, straight as a pin and ending at her waist; her large eyes were wide, lined with kohl and inescapably beautiful; her lips were a deep red against her ivory skin; the gold armband wrapped intimately around her upper arm as the ribbons of the Egyptian sandals crawled up her calves and around her ankles. "Wow."

Her eyes had lingered on his bare chest, a sight that she could still drink in, and his sandals and bands were no farther from his skin than hers. Lifting her gaze to rest on his dark eyes, now stormy and endless, she smiled. Letting her hand fall on his chest, she brushed her lips gently against his. "Next year we should be Greek. You can be Adonis. I'll be Mira."

"Mira was married to Poseidon. I'll be him. Where's your costume? This is nice and all, but you can't walk around in underwear."

Throwing a long jacket on, her thighs brushed by the coat, Celaeno winked at him. "I can't get the confounded thing on myself, so I'm heading over a little early so Lily can help me. So you'll get to be just as surprised as everyone else."

"Do you like torturing me?"

"Immensely. Now kiss me and I'll see you in an hour."

Kissing her gently, he winked. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. We may as well go together, I promised James I'd help him with the grilling before the party."

"Alright darling, then let's go. Do you have the drinks?"

Lifting the firewhiskey and vodka bottles that James had requested, Sirius nodded cheerfully. "Give me another kiss, a good one, before we go."

She obliged, letting her body melt into his as he deepened the kiss. "We should go."

Capturing her lips again, he nodded and continued to kiss her. "We should. Mmm. You taste good."

"Siri – mmm." Her disapproval died. As he put one of the bottles down, his hand going to her hair, she jerked back to the moment. "Sirius. We really have to go. James and Lily are waiting for us. We said we'd be there. You're supposed to be helping."

"Lily doesn't need help."

"I've been with her, getting ready, all afternoon. I took off after lunch and we got everything finished _before_ you lot go and get involved. Now don't forget that bottle and let's _go_."

Kissing her quickly and grumbling, Sirius followed her to the steps of Godric's Hollow. He glared at the door and waited for Celaeno to open it for him, her finger against her lips. "Be quiet. Come in. Come on, darling."

He followed her, letting her take the two bottles from him as he closed the door. Placing the bottles down on the kitchen table, she motioned toward the corner, where Lily and James were, engrossed in something much like what Cela had put a stop to herself only moments earlier. Leaning down, Sirius hissed in her ear, "And you were on my back for kissing you?"

She smiled at him and kissed him deeply, knowing that James and Lily were too busy to notice them. Celaeno's laughter bubbled as Sirius went to stand beside the happy couple, moaning and crying out, "Oh, James! James!"

The busy pair froze, looking over at Sirius. James glared, smacking his best friend soundly in the back of the head as Lily turned a deep scarlet. Still bright, she slapped both James and Sirius and stalked haughtily over to Mira Celaeno. "Now you, Cela darling, should be more sensible than allowing _that_."

Shrugging, she winked at her cousin, "I tried, Lily. You two were very preoccupied, what can I say? And you look radiant, I'm not surprised my brutish cousin was trying to devour you. The kitchen is a prime place for such _devouring_, too, it was just too good. And how was I to know that my lump was going to be so turned on by James?"

Lily laughed as Sirius glared at her. "Funny, Mira, real funny." Flashing a beam toward him, she let Lily drag her off. "Having fun there Prongs?"

"I _was_," James said grumpily, straightening his costume, "until you decided to imitate Lily."

"Does she really do that?"

"I'm not going to tell you. I like being in one piece, thank you Padfoot."

Chuckling, Sirius accompanied his best friend into the parlour. Whistling, he admired Celaeno and Lily's handiwork. "Nice. They did a great job."

"They were working like dogs, no offence."

"None taken."

James grinned. "But yeah, it was pretty impressive. Had me doing some of the manual labour, but I couldn't complain because they were somehow out here getting set up _and_ in the kitchen cooking. Smelled great earlier, but Cela said she'd castrate me if I set foot in there or if I so much as touched any of the food. She and Lily did some neat little charms to keep everything warm, so it's just as good as it was when it first came out."

"And we're manning the grill till everyone gets here?"

"You got it. Hey, Pads, how're you and Cela doing?"

"How are we doing? Fine. Why?"

James shrugged. "Dunno. Lily and I were talking a couple days ago, and I was just wondering if everything's alright, you know."

Knowing exactly what his best friend was getting at, Sirius frowned. "No, I don't know. Mira and I are fine. We had a minor argument last week, but it didn't last long."

Partly because he had kissed her until she couldn't think of anything else to say. But he wasn't going to bring that up. "That's not what I mean, Padfoot," James said sternly. Sirius raised an eyebrow, James sounded as serious as he did when they were talking about Voldemort, and he never suspected his relationship with Celaeno to reach that level of importance. "You've been married well over a year. A year and a half, plus. I'm worried about you mate. You shouldn't be getting stuck, you or Cela."

"We're not stuck. We know what we're doing Prongs, I promise. Besides, I have more fun with Mira than any other bird."

"I could take that the wrong way too easily, Padfoot. You sure?"

"If I wasn't with Mira I wouldn't be seeing anyone else. At least this way I have something to do when you're out with Lily. And take it the wrong way if you want, you might be right."

Sirius winked and laughed as James grimaced. So Lily had been right about the state of things between Sirius and Celaeno, and Sirius hadn't bothered denying it. Slightly pacified, James sighed and shook his head, letting himself be goaded into a good bout of laughter with his best friend.

* * *

"James looks fabulous, did you help him?"

"Is it really that obvious?"

Laughing, Celaeno shook her head. "Only because I know what state the boy's in when we leave him to his own devices. And don't worry; I had to help Sirius with his makeup too."

Grinning devilishly as she helped Cela tie up the seams of her white dress, Lily replied, "He looks great too. Didn't think he still had that kind of body. Surprised you didn't stay to eat him up."

"It was tempting," Cela admitted with a laugh. "And he tried. We were right up there with you and James before we came over. He took it well, considering I was the one who stopped it from turning into a full-on snog."

"Oh, shut up Cela," Lily said, blushing again.

She laughed and hugged her best friend. Stepping back, Lily looked at her carefully. As always, Celaeno looked beautiful, but now it was an irresistible, exotic, sensual, and simple beauty that was accented by her costume. The white satin flowed over her, the gold embroidery at the edge set of by her ivory skin. Handing the gold belt to the girl, Lily wished she had the smooth skin to pull off the strapless elegance that came so naturally to Celaeno. She watched her best friend fasten the belt, her figure framed even more and she turned to Lily with a smile. "How is it?"

"Sirius is going to swallow his tongue."

Celaeno laughed, hugging her best friend tightly. Stepping back, her head tilted to the side and she frowned slightly, "You know, I always envied your red hair."

Wondering where that confession came from, Lily laughed. "Really? Your hair's so gorgeous."

"I know, and I love my hair. But I always envied your colour. And I seriously doubt that James has a problem with freckles. Besides, it was always so much easier for you to get through a breakout than it was for me. It used to drive me crazy."

Laughing, Lily felt her desire for Celaeno's flawless skin melt into contentment. Cela really did know what to say. "I love you, Cela. Let's not go down yet. I want to make a grand entrance after everyone gets there." The other woman laughed and shrugged, allowing herself to be pulled onto the bed. "So let's talk. I haven't talked to you in forever."

"I know! What's been going on? I would ask how you and James are, but _obviously_ you're okay."

Lily blushed and laughed. "Fine, rub it in. It's all his fault, anyway. Are you and Sirius okay? I was kind of worried, after your fall out earlier this year."

"Never been better," Cela replied honestly, smiling at the relief on Lily's face. "You know how nice it is, to know that you're loved by the man you love. He felt bad after that, you know. He still dotes on me for it. Constantly, it's almost irritating. I've gotten more roses the past few months than I have in the rest of my life combined."

Lily laughed. "And you kept them all, I hope?"

"Sitting on the kitchen counter, so I can see them when I'm cooking. And to inflate Sirius' ego a little more every time he sneaks up behind me."

Laughing, the two women fell into very feminine practice of gushing over how sweet their men were.

* * *

"Where in the name of Merlin are Lily and Cela?"

Tapping his foot, James was a very disgruntled prince. "Why don't you go find them, if you're so concerned, James?"

Looking at Alice, James made a face and replied as though it was obvious, "What if Cela's _changing_? I can't walk in on that!"

"Then send Sirius."

"Huh?" Sirius looked up from the table, the food on his plate jerking as though offended by his sudden movement. James sent Alice a 'do-you-honestly-expect-me-to-send-_that_-one' look as Sirius grinned. "What about me?"

"Only that you're a little old to be walking around topless," Alice said sweetly, laughing as Sirius kissed her lavishly in response.

Eyes narrowing good-naturedly, Frank Longbottom's voice was stern, "Alright, Black, off my wife."

"Yessir!"

Jumping to attention despite his very un-soldier-like costume, Sirius laughed. "But _really_," James said impatiently, resorting to italics to express his irritation, "where _are_ they? Sirius, where are they?"

"Who, Lily and Mira? Probably waiting until they're sure everyone's here so they can make a grand entrance."

Alice looked at Sirius, clearly impressed, and James stopped grumbling. He couldn't deny his love and his cousin their opportunity to shine like the princesses they were. "Everyone _is_ here," he insisted anyway. "And you make a very pretty little shepherdess, Alice."

Dropping into a bobbing curtsey, Alice's tightly-wound blonde curls danced around her pretty, round face. "Why, thank you your Highness. You look dashing yourself, if I may say so. And if your Lady looks half as real as you, she'll be breathtaking."

"She is," James said with a grin. "Though nobody's going to know if she doesn't _come down_."

Just as he was beginning to get irritated again, Gideon Prewett, complete in a jester's costume, magnified his voice, "Ladies and Gentlemen. All fortunate enough to be here tonight, to enjoy themselves in the presence of friends and family, I have the good fortune of presenting to you our lovely hostesses. Possibly the two most ravishing women here tonight, I present Ladies Lily Potter and Celaeno Black."

James jerked, he still thought of her as Celaeno Venatici, and he noticed the spark of satisfaction in Sirus's eyes at the sound of his last name attached to the beautiful woman. But both friends froze, eyes glued to the stairs as the two came down. Red hair spiralling over her shoulders in elegant ringlets, green eyes bright with confidence as her small waist was clenched by the intimate green corset that truly made her look like a princess, Lily Potter was as beautiful as she had been on her wedding day. Beside her was undeniably the most gorgeous woman of the party, her sculpted features accented by red lips and kohl-lined eyes, eyes that glittered with laughter. Raven hair cascading over her back like a waterfall, ivory skin glowing in the light, shoulders bared for the world to admire the glass-like bones, body flowing and petite in the white gown with gold embroidery, figure accented by the well-placed gold belt that could have easily outshone the Egyptian princesses of old.

Unable to focus on his wife or cousin, James focused on both, noticing the dumb-struck adoration of his best friend with a critical eye. He mentally smacked himself as Sirius stepped forward, taking Celaeno's face in one hand, stroking her cheek, whispering something that made Lily's green eyes melt, and wrap an arm around her waist as he danced off with her. He managed to take one step forward, eyes fastened on his red-headed princess, and he bowed, taking her hand and asking regally, "My lady, you are a princess. May I have this dance?"

She nodded, letting herself be swept into a waltz, and she accepted his gentle kiss. "You really do look beautiful. I thought I was dreaming."

"Oh, James, that's so sweet. I love you."

It was sweet, and she didn't need eloquence or flowers to understand his adoration. And much later, when James swept to her side again, handing her a glass of wine, he asked idly, "What was it that Sirius said to Cela earlier? You got all gooey-eyed. I want to know what it was so I can use it later."

She had been waiting for that question, and she had already determined what she would say. After all, it would betray both Celaeno and Sirius if she repeated Sirius' words. _Merlin, you're perfect. I couldn't die now, heaven would feel like hell after holding you. My love, my life, my lady, let me hold you. Please._ His words echoed in her head and she smiled, eyes melting at the mere memory, "Just how beautiful he thought she was."

"She does look gorgeous. I think Remus is going to die if he doesn't return her to Sirius soon. If looks could kill he'd already be dead."

Lily laughed and leaned her head against James' shoulder. Alice and Frank were chatting with the Prewetts, Peter was with most of the other Order members, talking about Voldemort or Halloween or any number of things, Sirius was talking cheerfully with people he and James knew from work, though his eyes remained on Mira Celaeno. When the current dance stopped he excused himself, heading toward where Celaeno stood in Remus' arms. Whispering at James, Lily knew that her husband was fixated on what Sirius was planning, "Watch him, James. He loves her. I really think he does."

The handsome man grasped his wife's hand gently, waiting for his friend to step back and oblivious to his best friend's critical eye on him. "Sirius," Celaeno said with a smile, wondering what the smouldering look in his eyes meant this time.

Wanting to yell out to the entire world that this was his love, that she loved him as much as he loved her, Sirius swallowed and pulled her to him in a single movement. Tilting her face toward his, he swept down and kissed her. It was far from the idle and friendly kisses the people in the room were familiar with. It was a kiss that Mira Celaeno only received when Sirius felt it necessary to insist that he was in love with her. Deep, tender, and slightly desperate, his hands tightened, one at her waist and the other holding her hand lovingly. Her chin tilted up toward him, her free hand touching his arm lightly, afraid to hold on because she might never let go and afraid not to hold on because she might give out beneath him. James swallowed, he hadn't seen Sirius kiss a girl like this before, and the closest thing to it had been the few girls Sirius had felt seriously about. Maybe Lily was right.

Sirius broke away, breathless, and stared levelly into Celaeno's wide eyes. "I love you," he whispered, so that not even Remus could hear, and then he spoke louder. "I've been wanting to do that all night. Remind these silly boys watching you that you're already taken. Right, m'love?"

Only Sirius could end with a joke and not ruin the romance of the moment, Celaeno mused as the rest of the room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Lily was the only one who knew better, and the chocolate eyes caught the emerald gaze and they exchanged a silent conversation. Swept into another waltz, she let her gaze return to Sirius. "I wouldn't have minded, you know. Not anymore."

Smiling, Sirius shook his head, "Maybe not now. Besides, this isn't how I'd have James find out. He'd never forgive me. You _are_ his cousin, after all."

Her chocolate eyes melted, boiling with innocent admiration. "You are too good. Everyday I remember how thankful I am that you didn't fall in love with another lucky girl."

"How could I? Merlin, Mira, I've been aching to do that all night. I thought I was going to announce to the world that you were mine if I held back any longer."

"I've been watching you. Marvelling that such a beautiful man could possibly be mine. It really makes me feel beautiful."

"You are. Even without all this. Even when you're working in the garden with Lily, your hair a mess, dirt on your face, in jeans and one of my old t-shirts. You're still the most beautiful woman I will ever lay eyes on. Even if another woman is dressed as you are now and you're dishevelled and dirty, my eyes would still rest on you first."

"Stop," she murmured, laying her face in his shoulder. "You'll make me melt right here. I love you, so much, Sirius. No words could ever hope to describe, nothing that you could ever put down can compare to this. Even now, I'm bursting. Merlin, I want them to know. Not because I really do, but because I want everyone to envy what we have."

Kissing her gently, it appeared a regular, idle kiss, but the love and passion in it despite its brevity made it anything but idle. Arm around her waist, he led her to where James, Lily, and Remus stood in conversation. "Look, we're gracing you with our presence."

James knew that Sirius was happy, even if he wasn't in love with Mira Celaeno. Unable to believe his best friend would not tell him, James still couldn't accept the obvious – that Sirius really did love Celaeno. Settling for seeing his best friend happy, James laughed.

* * *

Lily hugged her best friend tightly, feeling her two favourite men watch them. James hadn't left her all night, and she knew by the firm touch of his hand that it was out of adoration and not possession. But it was Sirius who had impressed her, doting on Celaeno to the point that even she stopped realizing it. The idea that Sirius was in love with Celaeno would forever stay in James's mind, Lily knew, but she knew he would never believe it without Sirius' admission. Feeling her beloved's hand on her shoulder, she smiled at him and watched him wrap Celaeno in a one-armed hug. "You look amazing, Cela, you really do."

Looking up at her cousin, Cela replied fondly, "I'm proud of you, Jem my Jem, you look like a prince and you're starting to act like one. Marauder or not, you've grown up. And I like the man you've become. I like him more every day."

James blushed, kissing her quickly to avoid having to respond. Handing her to Sirius, he said roughly, "Take care of her. She's the only cousin I've got."

Celaeno may have pointed out that she had a younger sister, but Sirius's hand around hers, the gentle squeeze as he brushed a kiss over Lily's cheek silenced her. She was too content to bicker, and she smiled as Lily whispered in her ear, "Have fun with Sirius tonight. Even I'm ready to enjoy myself."

"After earlier you _should_ be," Cela giggled, whispering in reply. "I love you, Lily. Goodnight."

She allowed herself to be whisked away, looking up into Sirius' dark eyes in the middle of their dark living room. Waving his wand idly, candles lit and the dimly lit room became a perfect place to end a perfect night. Pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, he smiled in the candlelight and watched her. "You're amazing. Merlin, I love you."

"You're at a loss for words, Sirius. Maybe I should wear Egyptian clothes more often."

"It's not the clothes."

"I love you Sirius Black. You are the most important person in my life, without any exceptions and without a shred of doubt in my mind. I love you so much."

"So much it hurts."

She shook her head, looking up at him with a searching, probing gaze. "No. So much that it's stopped hurting. So much that I can't escape it, it's there all the time. Every day, every moment of my life, it's as much a part of me as breathing or my heart beating. I don't just love you. My life is loving you. It's not just something I do. It's who I am now."

* * *

A/N - This chapter's a bit of a filler, but it _is_ the pen-ultimate chapter. On the other hand, next chapter should be adequately action-filled. Hope you enjoyed it!


	11. To the Death

A/N - This is the final chapter of this story. Thanks ever so very much to the people who've read it this far, and thanks to everyone who's enjoyed it. And so it ends.

* * *

"Let's go on a picnic."

Stretching over the couch, his feet on her lap, he smiled lazily, "Alright. I'll pop by James and Lily tomorrow and we can have a grand picnic on Saturday."

"No, not Saturday. Right now. Just us."

Raising an eyebrow, he said carefully, "It's after nine. And you want to go on a picnic?"

"Why not? We haven't done anything impulsive in ages. And I thought you could never fall into a monotonous routine."

"I have not fallen into monotony!"

"Oh yeah? I think you, Sirius Black, have become a dry old man. We've become one of those boring couples that just sit and read at night. Let's be impulsive, _please_. That way, even if everyone else thinks we're boring, we'll know better!"

Sirius laughed. There was a good reason he loved her, and he shook his head. Struggling to stand, he pulled her to her feet with a single movement, "Alright then, you. Where's the picnic basket? And the biggest bloody jacket in England, because it's freezing outside, being January and all."

"You get the jackets, darling, I'll pack us something."

"Ooh, what?"

He looked like a child, eyes alight as he looked at her eagerly. Ruffling his hair, she giggled, "You'll see when we get there."

They moved quickly, enjoying the feeling of being secretive and impulsive. Grabbing Sirius by the hand, her red gloves bright in the moonlight, she laughed. He looked at her, her hair cascading beneath her cap, her jacket puffing around her small frame, and he inched closer to her. Cupping her face in one hand, pressing her against him with the other, his voice was low and steady, "Where are you taking me, Mira?"

"I'll be leaving you here to take a cold shower if you don't let me go, silly. You can try that when we get back."

Laughing, Sirius allowed Mira to yank him away, stopping in a large field. "Here," she said triumphantly, sitting down. "This is perfect."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I don't really want anything to eat. Let's just sit here."

She smiled, throwing herself onto the ground and shaking her hair into the snow. Tilting her head to the side so she could see him, she beamed and patted the ground beside her. "Come on, love, lay beside me. Let's look at the stars."

He did lie down beside her, looking up at the sky, watching the constellations he had studied for so long. "We haven't done this in ages."

"You haven't. I can't go very long without my stars."

Mira Celaeno wasn't very good at avoiding the night sky. That much was true, and Sirius chuckled. They lay there together, hands entwined as they looked up at the stars. Pointing out constellations, telling each other the stories behind every image, they laughed. "There you are, Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. The dog star."

"I'm good like that. And somewhere in there's you. Along with a bunch of other pretty ladies."

"That's my middle name. Mira should be somewhere around there."

She drew a circle around a cluster of stars, looking at Sirius and smiling. Their eyes locked and he squeezed her hand. "No more stories?"

"I think we've said all of them. What time is it?" She answered her own question, looking at her watch and laughing. "We left at quarter after nine. It's already eleven."

"You're kidding."

"Nope, look."

He laughed as she shoved her wrist into his face, indicating that they had, in fact, spent over an hour and a half lying in the snow. "That's brilliant. We should do this more often."

"I like night picnics. We should do this twice a month. At least."

Grinning, he poked her cheek, "And no planning it in advance. It'll be completely random, like tonight. What else can we do?"

"I dunno. We'll figure it out as we go. We should have random midnight swimming sessions too, in the summer."

"And snowball fights in the winter?"

"Oooh, that would be _so_ much fun!"

She sounded like a child, and he grinned as his hand crashed onto her face. Grinding the snow into her face, he laughed as she sputtered. "Sirius Black! That was bloody _freezing_!"

"It's snow, what'd you expect?"

He yelped as she threw chunks of snow at him, laughing as he spat out snow. Making a rough snowball, he rubbed it into her hair and screeched as she dumped snow down his front. "Bloody hell Mira! Shit!"

Leaning back, rocking on her bum as she wrapped her arms around her knees, she laughed helplessly. "You look so silly, Sirius."

"Oh yeah?"

His eyes narrowed and she jumped as snowballs began flying toward her at a surprising rate. Licking the snow, making a face, she began to retaliate, laughing at the snowball fight that had been even more impromptu than their 'night picnic'. Twenty minutes later they were both shivering, Mira reaching forward to rub a last clump of snow into Sirius's dark hair. "Thank you Mira. Merlin, I'm freezing."

"It's snow, what did you expect?"

Laughing at her mockery of his earlier comment, he wrapped an arm around her, picking up the basket that they had abandoned early on. Picking snow out of her dark locks, brushing the white dust off her shoulders, he smiled down at her. "You're so cute, all covered in snow."

Wrinkling her nose, she giggled and stood on tiptoe to brush snow out of his hair, "And you look like a little kid. One who just came out worse in a snowball fight."

"You know you always beat me at snow. Especially at night. You've got sneakiness down to an art."

"It's because I'm short."

He roared with laughter, throwing his head back and shaking as he swept her into a quickstep. She laughed, following his lead and watching his form glitter in the moonlight. Happiness looked good on him, amazingly so, and it made her happy to see it. Reaching the door, she kept one hand on the knob and leaned flush against the door. Looking up at him, she smiled blithely. Pinning his hands on either side of the her, Sirius leaned down and asked softly, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Standing at the door."

Sirius chuckled and stepped closer to her. He watched her eyes widen, her slender frame tensing in apprehension as her gaze locked on his. "What're you doing?"

"Getting closer to the door."

"I'm in the way."

"That's why I'm doing it."

A soft smile flickered over her face and she let her other hand fall onto his chest. Wrapping his hand around hers, he slid her glove off, bringing her fingers to his lips and kissing each finger gently. "Open the door, love, you'll catch your death of cold."

Her movements had softened, and he knew she was touched by his actions, though her words were light and airy, "You sound like an old fashioned mum. We're both too well wrapped up to worry about that."

Still, she opened the door and let herself be pushed in. He undressed quickly, hanging the large coats, and he helped her out of hers. "That was fun. We should do it more often."

"Yes, we should. But it's midnight, you'll be exhausted tomorrow."

She was right. He had to be up early, again. Rolling his eyes, he kissed her lightly, "I'd have been exhausted anyway. You know I'm not a morning person."

"I know love," her lips brushed over his and she pushed him toward their room. "Go get ready for bed. I'll put everything else up and be there soon."

He stood in the doorway, watching her disappear into the kitchen with a smile. He loved this about their relationship, and he was sliding into his pyjamas when he felt her wrap her arms around him from behind. She was already in her gown, and he wondered how he hadn't noticed her come in. Taking her hands from his waist, he rubbed them and felt her cheek rest against his back. "Your hands are freezing."

"And you're warm."

"Silly Mira. You ready for bed?"

"Let me brush my teeth. I'll be there in a minute, love."

She slid away from him and he lay down, eyes open as he watched her slide into bed beside him. Resting her head against his shoulder, she smiled as his arms came around her. "Goodnight love."

He returned the gesture, closing his eyes. And as he felt her fidget, small figure rubbing against him unwittingly, he smiled. So his little ruse at the door had worked. Rolling on top of her, he pressed kisses over her collarbone, over her cheek, and smiled, "You wanted this?"

She looked up at him lazily, knowing that he had wanted it from the beginning, and she grinned. "No, you did."

"Well, I'm going to be tired tomorrow anyway. May as well get the most out of it."

Shrugging, she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her lips to the hollow between his neck and chest. "Then make it worthwhile, love."

"Always, Mira."

She smiled, knowing he was right. At least he would sleep well, even if it wasn't for very long…

* * *

They looked at each other, dark gazes locking. There was an unspoken acceptance between them, that this would be one of the last few times that they were together like this. Her last fit had left her weak, so dejected and incapable that even the best of potions had been unable to restore her strength. The terror that had gripped him hadn't yet subsided and he moved toward her, sitting before her and grasping her arms gently. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, smiling weakly and taking his hand. "For now. Don't look so worried, it's unnerving."

"What did Dai say?"

"Soon. Sooner than I'd like."

His eyes closed on agony and he wallowed in the feel of her hand coming to his cheek. "Oh, don't! Sirius, love, please. Don't do this. It'll be okay."

"I don't want anything to happen to you. I need you to be here. I need to grow old with you, to laugh about back when you still had colour in your hair. How can I do that if you go now?"

"You think I want to die?"

His eyes snapped open and he stared into her turbulent eyes. "No. I know that. I'm just scared. I don't know what I'll do without you."

She trembled, looking at him sorrowfully, "You'll move on. You have to. For my sake. I could never forgive myself it you don't move on. I want you to be happy above all else, you know that. Will you give me that?"

"I'll try. But know that I can't promise, because just the thought of losing you is killing me."

"Sirius! Please."

Resting his forehead against hers, he nodded, sighing heavily as the panic retreated from her features. "Alright, I'll stop. I love you, Mira."

"I love you too. I'm going to wait for you. I'll stay watching you forever if I have to, but I won't go anywhere without you. Can you live knowing that?"

"I can try harder. Merlin, this is hell."

"I'm still here. For now."

Leaning back, Sirius looked at her. Yes, she was pale, thin, and visibly drawn, but she was still beautiful and her features still were hers. Trademark eyes glittering, she watched him, and he inhaled sharply. Sickness did nothing to diminish her beauty and even in her pallid state she was the most beautiful thing he could have beheld. He smiled, stroking her cheek and nodding, "You are. We won't talk about this anymore, not ever again. I'm going to take advantage of every second I have with you. My Mira, what would I do without you?"

"Rely on James?"

Sirius laughed, kissing her gently. "You must be exhausted. It's late."

"And I've been working all day. Plus a trip to St. Mungo's is never relaxing."

He laughed again. And Mira smiled at him, tilting her head back as he moved behind her, lifting her into his arms and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Then sleep. We haven't done this in ages. Sleep on the couch. So close your eyes, love, and sleep. I've got you. And I'm never letting go."

She turned, curling into his chest and feeling his legs wrap around hers. There was something about being in his arms that made all the fear, all the anxiety, all the sadness disappear into nothing. The safety and comfort of his arms enveloped her and she felt the trepid terror ease out of his body as he relaxed beneath her. It was purely innocent as she lay in his arms, and she let her eyes fall shut as she revelled in the knowledge that regardless of what occurred after death, she would eventually be with the man she loved.

* * *

He kissed her, watching her too-thin body tremble as she broke away from him and dove toward the sink. He followed her, running his fingers through her hair as she struggled for water, hands shaking as he asked gently, "Do you need any help?"

"I'm fine, love," she said, leaning against the counter as she sipped at water. "Oh, okay," she sighed in resignation as he lifted her onto the counter, letting her head rest against his chest. "I love you."

Smiling, he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I love you too, Mira. James and Lily are worried about you. Lily was complaining today that you never stay around for long."

"That won't be a problem anymore."

"So –"

"I can't lose the time I have left with them. I need to spend as much time with them as I can. It's not fair to them, and I need it so much."

"Do I not make you feel loved enough?"

She smiled at the tease in his voice and kissed him deeply. "Well, there are times that you are a _little_ lacking. It might be old age, getting to your libido. So I shouldn't really be complaining."

"There is nothing wrong with my libido, woman," he growled playfully. "I just have bigger things on my mind now, like you."

Mira's lips quirked upward in satisfaction and she kissed him again. "You'd think women and sex would be along the same lines."

He groaned, deepening the kiss and gasping, "Now they are. And you're a bloody idiot sometimes, Mira. You'll exhaust yourself."

"Let me worry about that."

Stepping back, he shook his head. "No. It's one of the few things I have left to worry about without going absolutely mad. So let me do this properly."

She knew what he was implying and she giggled. "How do you propose to do that?"

He swept her into his arms, kissing her gently, lingeringly as her legs wrapped around his waist. "Slowly, gently, in bed. Making sure that you can never forget how much I love you. In every single way. And knowing that you love me as much. Not so much sex as woman."

She rested her head against his shoulder and pressed her lips to the line of his jaw and neck as she smiled. She did love him. And there was enough in her to give him that much at least this once. While she didn't know it, as she reached up and kissed him, she took the last opportunity that she would ever have. And that night, entwined in each other's arms, it wasn't an innocent embrace, but it was the embrace of lovers. For a night that would have to sustain them both for all eternity.

* * *

She stood and crossed the room, sliding into her coat as she smiled at them. "I have to go. Good night."

Remus looked beseechingly at her and asked, "Why, Cela? It's still quite early. Sit down, talk, you haven't sat with us for weeks."

Lily nodded, placing her hand on James' arm as though it would make the woman stay longer. Mira Celaeno smiled and shook her head, saying softly, "I wish I could stay. But I have to leave. I'll stop by tomorrow, if I can. Good night."

"Mira Celaeno," Sirius said softly, standing. Extending a hand out to the woman, he led her into the next room, his voice just soft enough to keep the others from hearing him, "Please. You won't be by tomorrow, you know that. One night, Mira, for us. For Lily and James, for Remus, for me, for Peter and Alice and Frank even though they're not here tonight. In the name of Merlin, Mira, there won't be another chance like this."

He brought her back into the room, pushing her gently beside Remus and smiling at the soon-to-be-pregnant Lily Potter. "She's decided to grace us with her divine presence a little longer."

Glancing up at the handsome young man, Cela smiled. "James, your best friend is a bit of an idiot sometimes. Remind me why we even bother with him?"

James laughed and motioned idly toward Remus, "You say that about _my_ best friend? Look at yours, Mira Celaeno."

Laughing, the woman relaxed, her eyes twinkling as the five joked and talked for hours. And it really was hours when, a stroke of genius coming upon him, Sirius grabbed a camera, shoving Cela into Remus and saying, "Smile! I'm taking a picture!"

Mira Celaeno was laughing as she leaned against Remus and let him wrap an arm around her shoulder. And she laughed as Lily took the camera, exclaiming happily, "Oh, me next. Cela, take a picture with Sirius. You have so many with me and James and Remus already. I don't think I've seen more than one with just you and Sirius."

Sirius roared with laughter, wrapping an arm around the girl and bending to press a kiss to her cheek, barking with laughter as she flushed scarlet and looked away. She stood again, saying softly, "I really do have to go now. I'm exhausted. Good night."

Reaching up, Remus kissed her quickly and grinned as Sirius jumped to his feet, saying, "Come on, I'll get your coat for you."

He grabbed her hand, dashing off with her. The other three exchanged looks and Lily asked curiously, "Is everything alright with Sirius, James? He's been moody lately. Either really happy or really upset. He won't talk to me about it."

James frowned, "Have you noticed it too? I don't know. I haven't asked about it."

Remus began to venture an opinion when Sirius came back in, looking decidedly upset as he sank into a chair. He looked up at James, dark eyes shadowed as he said, "Remember back in sixth year? When I would tease you about liking Lily and you said I would end up falling for the most perfect woman? That I would fall for the one girl I could never get? I hate you when you're right, Prongs."

Frowning again, James stared as Remus gawked at Sirius, breathing in amazement, "Mira Celaeno? Padfoot, she's –"

"Way out of my league?" Sirius said bitterly. "Gorgeous? Was like a sister to me for eight years? Was the one girl I shoved at you for four of them? Is going to die in less than a week, at best? Take your pick, any way you look at it, it ends the same way."

"Less than a week?" asked Lily, her green eyes going wide.

Looking up at her, Sirius asked quickly, "Couldn't you tell? It's only been this week she's been letting us talk her into staying later, longer. She's been withdrawn for weeks and now she's suddenly a reflection of cheerful little Mira Celaeno from before seventh year. She knows it's almost over. And dammit, I know too."

More preoccupied with his best friend's plight, James leaned forward and asked, his year-plus suspicions coming true, "How long? Don't tell me eight years, Padfoot. How long have you been _in _love with her?"

"Three years? About. When she realized she was dying. Really dying. Not just what she knew would eventually happen. When she started talking to me, the way she talks to you and Moony, Prongs. Not just jokes, but the heavy stuff. Dammit, I picked my time well, didn't I Prongs? Fall for the woman I've been wide open to for eight years when she decides it's time to die! Dammit!"

The bitterness in his voice was palpable as he stood roughly, his dark eyes turbulent in his handsome face. James stood, laying a hand on his arm and asking gently, "Does she know?"

Sirius nodded, his voice more anguished than bitter, "That's the worst part, Prongs. She knows, and it's not one-sided. It never was."

Remus stood sharply, amazement etched into his features. "Are you serious?"

"That's my name," Sirius lashed out harshly, before wincing and turning to Remus. "I didn't mean it like that, mate. It's just –."

"I understand," Remus said, cutting the man off smoothly. He began to pace, his voice soft, "But why wouldn't she have said anything? She's the hopeless romantic, you've said so yourself. Why wouldn't she have jumped on the chance to be with you, even for just a few weeks or a few days?"

"She did. We just never told you about it."

Remus and James froze, stunned that Sirius could have kept a secret like that from them, especially for so long. Frowning, Remus looked at his old friend carefully, "Why then – Mira Celaeno!"

The woman ran into his arms, looking more like a child than a woman as she buried her face in his shoulder, saying softly, "I'm scared, Remus."

He held her tightly, stroking her hair as he glanced at the other three quickly. And he nodded his approval at Sirius as the man stepped forward and said weakly, "Mira?"

She turned toward him, breaking as he wrapped his arms around her. Clinging like a child, like she had years ago when this had all been new, she buried herself in his embrace. Jaw clenched, he asked softly, "It's tonight, isn't it? Your last night?"

Remus' eyes closed in silent agony as she nodded, a weak cry the reaction from a white Lily. Releasing her, Sirius murmured gently, "Say goodbye, Mira Celaeno. There's nothing more we can do."

Many people wish they could have said goodbye to a person before they died, but at that moment Lily and James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black realized that saying goodbye did no good. What can be said to someone you love when you know you will never see them again? Tears in her emerald eyes, Lily hugged her friend tightly, her voice soft, "I'll miss you. Now you'll never get to play godmother."

Mira Celaeno laughed despite the tears in her eyes and returned the hug full force. "Sirius will be both for me. Oh, Lily, be careful."

Lily nodded as James swung her around, kissing her square on the lips as he said, "I'll watch her for you, no worries, Cela. Just wait for us, will you? And watch us. Laugh at all the stupid things we do."

It seemed oddly fitting as Cela teased the great prankster of her youth, "Oh, James. I'd never stop laughing, Jem, my Jem. You're foolish quirks are endless."

Kissing her quickly, James handed her to Remus, "Good. My point exactly."

He held her tightly, the arms of a friend as he whispered, "I won't let go, Cela."

Her arms wrapped tightly around him as she shook her head, "Don't reminisce, please. Live with what you have, be grateful you have that. For me and for you. If you won't live for yourself, live for my sake. I love you Remus, werewolf and all."

Smiling, Remus nodded into her hair. "I know, Cela. I love you too."

He forced himself to release her, to let her go knowing he would never be able to see her again. She looked at them, letting Sirius take her hand. "I'll wait for you, love. But don't hurry,_ please_, I can't be a good guide if I haven't been there long enough."

James smiled, knowing the hidden meanings behind her words, cryptic as they so often were. And he, his friend, and his wife watched as Sirius led her to the door. He held her in a lover's embrace, his eyes closing on tears as he buried his face in her hair. "I want to come with you. I don't want you to be alone."

"Sirius, don't," she begged softly, looking up at him. "Please, Sirius."

"Why not?" he demanded roughly, the jagged-edged boy of old evident again as he looked at her with pleading eyes. "I love you, Mira Celaeno. I don't want to leave you while you're still here."

Shaking her head, she no longer had the will to keep her tears from falling as she placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "You've seen death before, Sirius. You'll see it again. With Voldemort, everyone will see more death than they should. I can't add to it."

"Mira, I _love_ you. What part of that means I shouldn't be there? Dear Merlin, Mira."

Trembling, she looked up into his anguished eyes and whispered, "I love you too, Sirius. More than life itself. You know that. And I have to leave you, leave everyone, because of the man you all are risking your lives to defeat. Did you think I didn't catch on, Sirius? Please, Sirius, I don't want you to see him win. How long did we try to keep this from happening? He's won this time, _don't_ _let him win again_, Sirius. I have one more battle, I should face it alone."

"Let me come with you, Mira. Let me hold you. For Merlin's sake, Mira Celaeno, let me be with the woman I love for the last time!"

She shattered, falling against him as she nodded weakly, shaking with tears as her fingers curled into his robes. He held her, wiping tears from her eyes as he pressed gentle kisses to her cheeks, his voice soft, "Don't cry. Please, Mira, don't cry. Hush, I'm here. I won't leave you."

Her face still in his hands, her tears smudged from where he had furiously attempted to wipe them away, he kissed her. Not the gallant kisses of the Casanova his friends knew, but the kiss of a man in love, of an eternal romantic. Brushing her cheek gently, Sirius opened the door and said softly, "Let's go."

Looking up at him with innocent admiration, she whispered softly, "I love you so much, Sirius."

A smile lighting his anguished features, Sirius pressed a kiss to her hair and nodded, "I love you too, Mira Celaeno."

She died that night, in the arms of the man who loved her, in the arms of the man she loved. But she died, leaving those she loved alone to suffer through the dark days that were to come.

- Fin -


End file.
